Let's Try to Get Along... Please

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I think I have the same problem too. I have gotten a very few strange PMs and I would be lost about what they were talking about. I didn't know how to respond to it so I would try my best and they wouldn't even bother to tell me in what way I was doing it which is one of my pet peeves. I also wish they provide me links or try and be exact as possible and describe the situation as possible so it can trigger my memory. it might make me re remember, it might not.

There has been at least two people, one that bothered going through my posts to show me examples and the other posting a link to one of my posts when he decided to make a response to it.

@ Karla:

If it makes you feel any better, your response was way more polite than mine would've been.

Take care.

Based on what I've read on the first post, you were the douche.

Two tenets of "Let's try to get along" might be:

1) Not posting private messages in public
2) Not discussing named forum members in a thread

This is exactly the sort of posting I am asking that we avoid with one another. You called me a name and you were unhelpful in that you provided zero explanation. I can only conclude that you just wanted to call me a name. Please educated yourself on ASD and also try to see a different perspective. Please let's try to refrain from doing this sort of bullying to one another.



I considered this and weighed the risk versus benefit. My hope was that I could get some help to understand motive and then try to address the issue. I belive I have done that.

Dude, you judged another person's intelligence, that's not cool, and i agree we shouldn't behave like this with each other, so i apologize for my above statement while maintaining my point of view that you were biased and judgmental, and somewhat rude.

Dude, you do not have the context of this message in reference to all the others that are spoken of NOR do you know the frame of mind that this message was given. It may well be that I am being "tongue in cheek" or that I am using the word silly very literally. It may be that within the context of the other messages that this was warranted. For you to make this rash judgement with this message being so out of context really reflects your statement back on you IMHO.

If he felt I was rude, he should have told me that AT THE TIME not "bullied" me for 6 months and then send this very cryptic message to my PM later. THAT is the point I am trying to make. I am way too unable to abstract all this stuff to know WTF I am supposed to do with this information. Then when I try to tell him that I am too disabled to do this, I get called an a**hole.

You need to understand that not everyone can take these statements and infer from them some unspoken intent. THAT is what having ASD is like for some of us. You can do this and apparently so can others, but I cannot. Just give those of us who cannot the benefit of the doubt please without the name calling. We all get enough of that in the NT world.

Ah, now i understand the stalking, but you should also reflect that you are dealing with aspies like yourself here on this forum, and that everything you write will be taken literally, and for most people, somethings might come off as insulting, words are words, there is no hidden meaning for most of us, there is no arguments against facts, that is why you might have been misinterpreted, what you wrote is what we understand.
As for the cyberbullying, if e really did this for a long period of time, you should have reported him.

sigh.... please read the thread again to get all the facts.

I did NOT notice it for the past 6 months. If I did, I would not have told him that I did not notice it. You see, I am unable to see this sort of thing due to my ASD severity. In the ASD world, this is called, "socially aloof" by the ASD doctors. People who are more severely affected actually do not know they are being bullied much of the time. THIS is the thing that I am trying so hard to communicate and the things some people just cannot comprehend. Some of us are not able to understand all the things that go on and need some extra help in these areas. I am one of those people and there are many others as evidenced by the responses I have recieved in here.

So, "No"... I am not dealing with "Aspies like myself" all the time on here. If I were this would not happen.

I have trouble figuring out if I am being bullied if it is really subtle. People have interfered and said "cut it out" to the person doing it and I didn't even know they were doing anything. When it is really obvious, like name calling and pushing, shoving, hitting, etc, I can always tell then.

I have two things I want to say here, and one of them will be longer, so I think I'll do it in two posts.

One thing that I haven't seen mentioned, though I might have missed a post (I've been back and forth on this for a couple of days in several sessions), I'm really amazed was NOT mentioned on a forum full of psychologically sophisticated Aspies, under the time-honored Asperger Principle: "No error, when perceived, may ever go uncorrected!". OK, that's overstating it, even for me, but I have this compulsion to correct errors! I _can_ ignore typoes and misspellings, honest I can, even when it ITCHES! Because I know that getting along with people, Aspie or NT means giving them some leeway.

An IQ score is not a constant! It's not an unchangeable exact number! You can take two different IQ tests on successive days, feeling good and at your best on both days, and you won't get the same number result -- it would be a miracle if you did. One hopes they might be within ten points or so, but even that isn't guaranteed. If you're feeling a little sick, or have a minor headache, or are just a little depressed, or are bothered by a buzzing fluorescent bulb, or just ate the wrong thing for breakfast on one of the days, your two scores may vary rather widely. If you take the same test a year from now, and have forgotten it perfectly, so that there isn't a "practice" or "learning" effect, you still won't get the exact same score. Apparently bluto has taken only one IQ test in his life, that he thinks the score is set in stone?

Hi, I'll play pseudo moderator here and suggest not making this a thread dedicated to stoning Mr Sbluto

His posts aren't my cup of tea but I suspect his emotional state is an open book and perhaps a little sensitivity in pointing out his errors rather than surrounding him like a mob.

OK, cyberdad, I get your point, sorry. But it was so glaring, I've been waiting for somebody to fix it for days, and nobody did. The second thing I had to say is to the whole thread and the general principle, but I am going to leave that in rather than delete it, because it was so necessary that somebody say it. I mean, IQ tests are a sort of basis of Asperger's, since so many of us score so high on them. I suppose a real moderator might delete it, but I'm not going to, even though it was a bit too much pile-on. It's a point of information that's basic to the whole thing.

A high score on an IQ test is not a basis for Aspergers. Only a requirement that a person does not score lower than average on an IQ test. IQ is not even measured in a diagnosis for Aspergers unless there is a question of whether or not lower than normal IQ exists in an individual with Aspergers.

In any group of people with Aspergers the scores are likely to come out higher than a group measured in the general population, because by nature of the condition lower than normal IQ scores would not be part of the measure.

The individual discussed in this thread, clearly stated that his intelligence as an individual could be questioned, his reference was to IQ as a number, a measurement, not a real indicator of full intelligence, which it is not. One of the special interests of that individual is IQ tests, I'm sure he is fully aware that each test an individual takes results in a variation in score.

Some people are under the illusion that IQ tests fully measure human intelligence; the fact that the individual acknowledged the fact that it doesn't, shows he understands the limitation of IQ tests.

Emotional intelligence is real and a necessary part of survival, some who score very high on IQ tests score very low on this type of intelligence. And, there are many other types of human intelligence as well.

Another is understanding metaphor and context, it's obvious in this thread that many of us are challenged by that type of intelligence, it's a communication impairment that is part of Autism.

Last edited by Sibyl on 23 Aug 2011, 10:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I've been groaning throughout this, because it's so familiar to me. This kind of thing has been happening to me for years, and it still bewilders me. I always knew there was something 'wrong' with me, that I couldn't make and keep close friends, and kept getting into fights with people. At the best of times, I thought it was because I was bright (as attested by grade school and high school grades, and IQ tests: what went wrong with me and college was something else entirely, more to do with the Age of Aquarius) and girls aren't supposed to be bright, or good at math and technical things: my high school classes frequently found me the only girl there, and that alone sometimes seemed like a good reason for me to be a social misfit. I've only known about Asperger's for a very few years, and everything's falling into place.

I've been on an e-mail Listserv, religious in nature, for about fifteen years. Most of the people there know me, and _should_, I would think, know that I don't have a problem with women as priests. I'd never ever use the word "priestess" there, because I know they're highly offended by that word. But recently I made the remark that the List was infested with women priests. I just meant that there were a lot of them there, scattered through it like chocolate chips in a chocolate chip cookie, or holes in Swiss Cheese. But I was landed on from ten directions: they chose to assume that I was deliberately implying that women priests were *vermin*. I didn't have that intention at all, but I had the choice between apologizing or being booted. Naturally, I quit explaining and chose to apologize, and then my apology wasn't considered good enough, so I did it again. That literal mind! But this time, I think it was the NTs who were being literal minded. Anyway, it just struck me strongly that the misunderstandings about "intelligence" vs "silly" and exactly what kind of statement was a good enough apology or a "real" apology was so closely related.

Ever since then, I've been wearing this Bible quote as a sig line on my e-mail, just to keep myself reminded to watch my words:
Mat 12:36-37
I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.