Apergian females are normal?
swbluto
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In that case, I'm the Easter bunny!
*runs off into the night laughing maniacally*
Well, I *really* saw the articles whereas you've never seen bunny fur on your skin.
No, I'm abnormal. xd.
I feel that there are 2 types of aspies on this forum, those who were diagnosed while still in school & were given some social conditioning & those who discovered it themselves in adult hood. I assumed that Alex & the other young aspies that often appear in things with him are from the former set & would not be as awkward as those of us who are older & just thought that we were the only people like this all the way into adult hood. It doesn't make any sense to base a view of all aspies on that.
Not to mention the fact that many people are going to start "performing" for a camera in this day & age. I think it's almost instinctual at this point. Hell, I do it. I'm great at smiling in photos because I was continually yelled at for not doing so as a small child.
Since the average aspergian female, like NT females, finds herself dependent in a relationship where the male brings home the bacon...
FYI-In my experience NT guys do not like when a girl is "quiet", they will continually try to draw you out even if there isn't anything happening. I've had some instances where the male took on qualities more similar to a female in a romantic comedy, "what's wrong?", "how are you feeling?" to me, the answer to be both? "Nothing". Oh & NT girls? They abhor it.
Also where are these guys who go "bring home the bacon" and take care of me cuz I've never met one. (I've also observed from NT women that many in that situation are very unhappy/repressed).
This is just my opinion in case any other women would like to see one. I don't argue with people online (& rarely IRL-it's a waste of your life).
She's pretty normal as far as her understanding of people go and she's actually really socially perceptive. This is what she had to say:
Interesting. Looking at the research, there's little to no objective tests that differentiate aspergian females from neurotypical females, other than a trend of large differences in subtest scores in standard IQ and memory testing, and many aspergian females on here seem to be conversationally and "socially" normal. So, essentially, other than minor oddities such as sensory sensitivities, aspergerian females are normal. Most eventually marry and/or have relationships and they have little to no troubles socially that are significantly worse than what a typical NT female has. Now, of course, I'm talking about the "average" aspergian female -- the aspergian or autistic females that are worse off are going to have a harder time, obviously, but other than that -- the average aspergian female is normal.
As an aspergian female, I am certainly not normal. As an adult I've developed the ability to outwardly present myself in a relatively normal fashion, however this was learned and practiced behavior and is not undocumented in adults with AS. It allows me to attend to the daily necessities of life which entail interacting with others on a basic level. For example, dealing with neighbors, bankers, checkers, receptionists, and so on. It does not facilitate the formation of, nor maintain more complex social relationships.
As an example, I point you to 23/24 Leinster Gardens.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/11561957@N ... otostream/
From the front one would assume this is a normal, even upscale townhouse. However it's true nature is revealed from the back.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/11561957@N ... otostream/
From this angle, we can see what we thought was a townhouse was a facade which hides the entrance to the underground rail system.
As a child I was no different from boys with AS with the exception of the fact that I was not aggressive. In fact my parents had been told multiple times that I appeared to be on the spectrum before anyone had heard of AS, and I was likely the first case of AS a large number of child psychologists and school officials in a certain part of the US have seen.
I don't think there's any evidence to support your views that most women with AS marry or have little to no trouble socially. However your views do support the idea that females with AS go largely unnoticed or are misdiagnosed.
Some female aspies appear to be normal as they are able to learn\fake social skills by copying other girls... (Tony Attwood mentions this in his book and seminars)
I can appear normal at times, totally depends on the situation (location, number of people present, noise levels, topic of discussion etc)
You are not trying to convince yourself. You are trying to convince the other person.
Exactly the same for me. Most of the people that know me describe me as weird, even my own parents!
_________________
Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 55 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
I feel that there are 2 types of aspies on this forum, those who were diagnosed while still in school & were given some social conditioning & those who discovered it themselves in adult hood. I assumed that Alex & the other young aspies that often appear in things with him are from the former set & would not be as awkward as those of us who are older & just thought that we were the only people like this all the way into adult hood. It doesn't make any sense to base a view of all aspies on that.
Not to mention the fact that many people are going to start "performing" for a camera in this day & age. I think it's almost instinctual at this point. Hell, I do it. I'm great at smiling in photos because I was continually yelled at for not doing so as a small child.
FYI-In my experience NT guys do not like when a girl is "quiet", they will continually try to draw you out even if there isn't anything happening. I've had some instances where the male took on qualities more similar to a female in a romantic comedy, "what's wrong?", "how are you feeling?" to me, the answer to be both? "Nothing". Oh & NT girls? They abhor it.
I got diagnosed because I was becoming too isolated and depressed. I see myself looking a little more normal now because I learned new things I didn't get in childhood. Of course people do eventually start to notice. NT men in particular think I'm pissed off or bored all the time because I don't always show emotions. When I do it's often because I'm mimicking people. When I'm in my inner world people think I'm not normal but for me that is normal and the behavior I show around people most of the time is more an act I have little emotional connection with.
btbnnyr
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Posts: 7,359
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago
I consider myself a delicate dainty broccoflower of aspergian shemale shemininity.
Here's a picture of me with the Easter Bunny:
Last edited by btbnnyr on 31 Oct 2011, 12:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
swbluto
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In that case, I'm the Easter bunny!
*runs off into the night laughing maniacally*
Well, I *really* saw the articles whereas you've never seen bunny fur on your skin.
You can read all the articles you want and think your right but that doesn't mean the articles are right. Do you know how many professionals don't understand AS? They're too analytical to actually comprehended complex human behaviors. Human beings are pretty random every brain is different. I think one of the things that destroyed psychology is that human emotion and behaviors are being simplified into controlled statistics. You can research all you want about Autism, or mental illness but unless your out there talking to those people and understanding the complexity of each persons individual circumstance than you have no right to say anything about a classified group of people. Saying that Aspie women are more NT is just plain ignorance. It's like me saying your more like an NT guy because clearly you don't get women at all.
Female kids with Aspergers are not often aggressive when they get frustrated; rather, they tend to be withdrawn and can easily "fly under the radar" in classrooms and other social environments. Girls with Aspergers are also able to express their emotions in a calmer way than their male counterparts. Female kids with Aspergers are often protected and nurtured by their “non-Aspergers” friends, who help them cope with difficult social situations. Acceptance from peers can sometimes mask the issues that these kids have so that they are not recognized by educators and moms/dads. As a result, adults are less likely to suggest psychological and social evaluations for young female Aspies.
Look at that, they're accepted by their non-aspergian friends, their friends protect them and they are in significantly less need of psychological and social help.
Using the same citation, I counter your claim that females with AS are essentially normal.
It is essentially saying that females with AS are not normal and lack of visibility and services make them more likely than males with AS to struggle significantly in adulthood.
Concerning girls having groups of friends, perhaps I'm the exception but I did not have a group of friends and I find I have/had less friends than most with AS or PDD-NOS. When I was younger I didn't know how to approach other children and the other children never approached me, so I have to wonder how many girls are wandering around playgrounds alone that no one notices.
Your average NT female is not an individual who is qualified to judge whether this girl is normal or not. She can only judge whether or not the girl appears normal, which is an entirely different thing. If one could determine who had AS and who didn't by just looking at them, then there would not be a such thing as $4400 assessments.
Neither of you are in a position that can accurately determine how AS impacts this girls life. You do not know her personally and you do not know what goes on in her head or what she has struggled or still struggles with today. You actually know nothing about her social life other than what she has explicitly shared and you do not know the state of all of her relationships.
Nor are you even in a position to judge how much the average autistic male suffers. You may be able to judge how much you suffer, or even how much someone close to you suffers, but you cannot extrapolate that to such a number of autistic males as to make a statistically significant conclusion on the state of the general autistic male population.
btbnnyr
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I think I appear pretty normal, just shy and quiet and timid, as long as I don't say anything, look at anything, or move anything. This is why I have often wanted to pretend to be blind, in order to appear normal, but I don't really need to want to do that anymore, because I've given up on appearing normal.
btbnnyr
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Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago
Oops, sorry, I meant that I wanted to pretend to be blind, so I could have an excuse to (1) not talk at all because I can't see the non-verbal cues to start talking or (2) talk for as long as I want because I can't see the non-verbal cues to stop talking. But it's too sleazy to pretend to be something I'm not.
swbluto
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You are not trying to convince yourself. You are trying to convince the other person.
I'm telling the person why I'm not going to try (2 hours of work) and they're just going to have to believe me. If that's too much for them, then so be it.
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