Page 4 of 10 [ 159 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ... 10  Next

swbluto
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,899
Location: In the Andes, counting the stars and wondering if one of them is home to another civilization

31 Oct 2011, 12:20 am

dancing_penguin wrote:
swbluto wrote:
it's right until proven to be false by whatever hard evidence you or anyone else brings up.


In that case, I'm the Easter bunny!

*runs off into the night laughing maniacally*


Well, I *really* saw the articles whereas you've never seen bunny fur on your skin.



LadySera
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 418

31 Oct 2011, 12:38 am

No, I'm abnormal. xd.

I feel that there are 2 types of aspies on this forum, those who were diagnosed while still in school & were given some social conditioning & those who discovered it themselves in adult hood. I assumed that Alex & the other young aspies that often appear in things with him are from the former set & would not be as awkward as those of us who are older & just thought that we were the only people like this all the way into adult hood. It doesn't make any sense to base a view of all aspies on that.

Not to mention the fact that many people are going to start "performing" for a camera in this day & age. I think it's almost instinctual at this point. Hell, I do it. I'm great at smiling in photos because I was continually yelled at for not doing so as a small child.

swbluto wrote:
It can actually be advantageous in typical heterosexual relationships where the ideal female, for some men, is someone who doesn't talk much and can more "relate" to guys.

Since the average aspergian female, like NT females, finds herself dependent in a relationship where the male brings home the bacon...


FYI-In my experience NT guys do not like when a girl is "quiet", they will continually try to draw you out even if there isn't anything happening. I've had some instances where the male took on qualities more similar to a female in a romantic comedy, "what's wrong?", "how are you feeling?" to me, the answer to be both? "Nothing". Oh & NT girls? They abhor it.

Also where are these guys who go "bring home the bacon" and take care of me cuz I've never met one. (I've also observed from NT women that many in that situation are very unhappy/repressed).

This is just my opinion in case any other women would like to see one. I don't argue with people online (& rarely IRL-it's a waste of your life).



Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

31 Oct 2011, 12:43 am

swbluto wrote:
So, I was asking an NT female to describe her impressions of the people in the "Autism Speaks" video, episode 14, which was comprised of aspergian hosts.

Video removed wrote:


She's pretty normal as far as her understanding of people go and she's actually really socially perceptive. This is what she had to say:

Quote:
The girl seems pretty normal, really. The guy on the left seems more on the mildly-socially-awkward, nerdy/geeky side, but not anything too weird - he does seem maybe a little more aloof than usual because he tends to look at the camera while other people are talking (he also has kind of a concerned look on his face... I don't know if that's just how his face is?). The guy in the middle seems more visibly autistic-ish - he looks like he feels awkward / unsure of what to do, has some awkward mannerisms, seems to be forcibly fake-smiling most of the time, doesn't have much to say and the things he does say are pretty stilted. None of them are repulsive to me, though.


Interesting. Looking at the research, there's little to no objective tests that differentiate aspergian females from neurotypical females, other than a trend of large differences in subtest scores in standard IQ and memory testing, and many aspergian females on here seem to be conversationally and "socially" normal. So, essentially, other than minor oddities such as sensory sensitivities, aspergerian females are normal. Most eventually marry and/or have relationships and they have little to no troubles socially that are significantly worse than what a typical NT female has. Now, of course, I'm talking about the "average" aspergian female -- the aspergian or autistic females that are worse off are going to have a harder time, obviously, but other than that -- the average aspergian female is normal.


As an aspergian female, I am certainly not normal. As an adult I've developed the ability to outwardly present myself in a relatively normal fashion, however this was learned and practiced behavior and is not undocumented in adults with AS. It allows me to attend to the daily necessities of life which entail interacting with others on a basic level. For example, dealing with neighbors, bankers, checkers, receptionists, and so on. It does not facilitate the formation of, nor maintain more complex social relationships.

As an example, I point you to 23/24 Leinster Gardens.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/11561957@N ... otostream/

From the front one would assume this is a normal, even upscale townhouse. However it's true nature is revealed from the back.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/11561957@N ... otostream/

From this angle, we can see what we thought was a townhouse was a facade which hides the entrance to the underground rail system.

As a child I was no different from boys with AS with the exception of the fact that I was not aggressive. In fact my parents had been told multiple times that I appeared to be on the spectrum before anyone had heard of AS, and I was likely the first case of AS a large number of child psychologists and school officials in a certain part of the US have seen.

I don't think there's any evidence to support your views that most women with AS marry or have little to no trouble socially. However your views do support the idea that females with AS go largely unnoticed or are misdiagnosed.



kahlua
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 15 Apr 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 363

31 Oct 2011, 12:43 am

Some female aspies appear to be normal as they are able to learn\fake social skills by copying other girls... (Tony Attwood mentions this in his book and seminars)


I can appear normal at times, totally depends on the situation (location, number of people present, noise levels, topic of discussion etc)



Shebakoby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2009
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,759

31 Oct 2011, 12:46 am

I sure as hell wasn't normal when I was a kid. It's the ambiguous case now though.



Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

31 Oct 2011, 12:49 am

swbluto wrote:
The research articles definitely exist, but someone is going to have to find them. I obviously don't remember the URLs for every research article I've read and I'm not going to invest 2 hours to find them just to satisfy some nit-picky person who requires citations when I already know I've seen the information before.


You are not trying to convince yourself. You are trying to convince the other person.



Kiseki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,604
Location: Osaka JP

31 Oct 2011, 12:50 am

Angel_ryan wrote:
People think I'm normal until they actually get to know me.


Exactly the same for me. Most of the people that know me describe me as weird, even my own parents!


_________________
Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 55 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


Angel_ryan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jun 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 745
Location: Ontario Canada

31 Oct 2011, 12:51 am

LadySera wrote:
No, I'm abnormal. xd.

I feel that there are 2 types of aspies on this forum, those who were diagnosed while still in school & were given some social conditioning & those who discovered it themselves in adult hood. I assumed that Alex & the other young aspies that often appear in things with him are from the former set & would not be as awkward as those of us who are older & just thought that we were the only people like this all the way into adult hood. It doesn't make any sense to base a view of all aspies on that.
Not to mention the fact that many people are going to start "performing" for a camera in this day & age. I think it's almost instinctual at this point. Hell, I do it. I'm great at smiling in photos because I was continually yelled at for not doing so as a small child.
FYI-In my experience NT guys do not like when a girl is "quiet", they will continually try to draw you out even if there isn't anything happening. I've had some instances where the male took on qualities more similar to a female in a romantic comedy, "what's wrong?", "how are you feeling?" to me, the answer to be both? "Nothing". Oh & NT girls? They abhor it.


I got diagnosed because I was becoming too isolated and depressed. I see myself looking a little more normal now because I learned new things I didn't get in childhood. Of course people do eventually start to notice. NT men in particular think I'm pissed off or bored all the time because I don't always show emotions. When I do it's often because I'm mimicking people. When I'm in my inner world people think I'm not normal but for me that is normal and the behavior I show around people most of the time is more an act I have little emotional connection with.



Sparx
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Oct 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,186

31 Oct 2011, 12:54 am

Heh, no. Definitely not "normal" here.



btbnnyr
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,359
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago

31 Oct 2011, 12:54 am

I consider myself a delicate dainty broccoflower of aspergian shemale shemininity.

Here's a picture of me with the Easter Bunny:
Image



Last edited by btbnnyr on 31 Oct 2011, 12:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

swbluto
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,899
Location: In the Andes, counting the stars and wondering if one of them is home to another civilization

31 Oct 2011, 12:59 am

btbnnyr wrote:
I consider myself a delicate dainty broccoflower of aspergian shemale shemininity.


Yep, that's normal right there! xD



Angel_ryan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jun 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 745
Location: Ontario Canada

31 Oct 2011, 1:09 am

swbluto wrote:
dancing_penguin wrote:
swbluto wrote:
it's right until proven to be false by whatever hard evidence you or anyone else brings up.


In that case, I'm the Easter bunny!

*runs off into the night laughing maniacally*


Well, I *really* saw the articles whereas you've never seen bunny fur on your skin.


You can read all the articles you want and think your right but that doesn't mean the articles are right. Do you know how many professionals don't understand AS? They're too analytical to actually comprehended complex human behaviors. Human beings are pretty random every brain is different. I think one of the things that destroyed psychology is that human emotion and behaviors are being simplified into controlled statistics. You can research all you want about Autism, or mental illness but unless your out there talking to those people and understanding the complexity of each persons individual circumstance than you have no right to say anything about a classified group of people. Saying that Aspie women are more NT is just plain ignorance. It's like me saying your more like an NT guy because clearly you don't get women at all.



Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

31 Oct 2011, 1:11 am

swbluto wrote:
Here's an article that definitely supports my assertion that asperger females are essentially socially normal.

Quote:
The symptoms of Aspergers in adult females and girls are usually displayed in a more subtle manner, which results in missed or incorrect professional diagnoses, a lack of access to special education services and provisions in school, and a greater chance of social and emotional problems in adulthood. Several distinct differences exist in regard to the ways that female kids and male kids with Aspergers behave.

Female kids with Aspergers are not often aggressive when they get frustrated; rather, they tend to be withdrawn and can easily "fly under the radar" in classrooms and other social environments. Girls with Aspergers are also able to express their emotions in a calmer way than their male counterparts. Female kids with Aspergers are often protected and nurtured by their “non-Aspergers” friends, who help them cope with difficult social situations. Acceptance from peers can sometimes mask the issues that these kids have so that they are not recognized by educators and moms/dads. As a result, adults are less likely to suggest psychological and social evaluations for young female Aspies.


Look at that, they're accepted by their non-aspergian friends, their friends protect them and they are in significantly less need of psychological and social help.

Using the same citation, I counter your claim that females with AS are essentially normal.
Rebuttal wrote:
The symptoms of Aspergers in adult females and girls are usually displayed in a more subtle manner, which results in missed or incorrect professional diagnoses, a lack of access to special education services and provisions in school, and a greater chance of social and emotional problems in adulthood.


It is essentially saying that females with AS are not normal and lack of visibility and services make them more likely than males with AS to struggle significantly in adulthood.

Concerning girls having groups of friends, perhaps I'm the exception but I did not have a group of friends and I find I have/had less friends than most with AS or PDD-NOS. When I was younger I didn't know how to approach other children and the other children never approached me, so I have to wonder how many girls are wandering around playgrounds alone that no one notices.

swbluto wrote:
Contrast that to the typical social outcomes of aspergian males who are bullied and taunted COUPLED with the fact that a fairly neurotypical female said the aspergian female host was essentially normal tells me that aspergian females are essentially normal, in terms of their actual disability's impact on their social life and relationships.


Your average NT female is not an individual who is qualified to judge whether this girl is normal or not. She can only judge whether or not the girl appears normal, which is an entirely different thing. If one could determine who had AS and who didn't by just looking at them, then there would not be a such thing as $4400 assessments.

Neither of you are in a position that can accurately determine how AS impacts this girls life. You do not know her personally and you do not know what goes on in her head or what she has struggled or still struggles with today. You actually know nothing about her social life other than what she has explicitly shared and you do not know the state of all of her relationships.

swbluto wrote:
Sure, you may quibble about seemingly bright lights and missing nuance sometimes, but that's not really what I'd call a disability that's anywhere near as disabling as what the average autistic male suffers.


Nor are you even in a position to judge how much the average autistic male suffers. You may be able to judge how much you suffer, or even how much someone close to you suffers, but you cannot extrapolate that to such a number of autistic males as to make a statistically significant conclusion on the state of the general autistic male population.



btbnnyr
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,359
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago

31 Oct 2011, 1:12 am

I think I appear pretty normal, just shy and quiet and timid, as long as I don't say anything, look at anything, or move anything. This is why I have often wanted to pretend to be blind, in order to appear normal, but I don't really need to want to do that anymore, because I've given up on appearing normal.



btbnnyr
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,359
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago

31 Oct 2011, 1:15 am

Oops, sorry, I meant that I wanted to pretend to be blind, so I could have an excuse to (1) not talk at all because I can't see the non-verbal cues to start talking or (2) talk for as long as I want because I can't see the non-verbal cues to stop talking. But it's too sleazy to pretend to be something I'm not.



swbluto
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,899
Location: In the Andes, counting the stars and wondering if one of them is home to another civilization

31 Oct 2011, 1:19 am

Chronos wrote:
swbluto wrote:
The research articles definitely exist, but someone is going to have to find them. I obviously don't remember the URLs for every research article I've read and I'm not going to invest 2 hours to find them just to satisfy some nit-picky person who requires citations when I already know I've seen the information before.


You are not trying to convince yourself. You are trying to convince the other person.


I'm telling the person why I'm not going to try (2 hours of work) and they're just going to have to believe me. If that's too much for them, then so be it.