17 Mar 2012, 4:28 am
BruceCM wrote:
rebbieh wrote:
BruceCM wrote:
For whatever reasons, your mum does not want to believe she's an Aspie is her problem but it probably doesn't make much difference to her, now. So, please, don't let that be your problem, too! There can be negative consequences of getting a diagnosis, that's why I'd advise not doing so, unless it's really likely to help or lead to it. You really do not seem to need the help & I'm sure you'd manage to feel all these doubts if you did get a diagnosis, too, anyway. 
Sure, but the difference would be I'd know the "truth" or at least what a professional might consider the truth. I know myself, I know I won't stop thinking about all of this until I know. I mean, I can't just say "I've got Asperger's" to let some people understand why I am the way I am if I don't have the diagnosis, can I? Then I might be lying and I don't like lying.
What would you say are the negative consequences of a diagnosis?
Can anybody else explain all the possible negative consequences of a diagnosis, please? Um. Got to be 'nasty'. Typical 'black & white thinking, over thinking, over analyzing & all the rest of it! 
It's medical opinion, do explain how that's more 'true' than your own opinion, when it's reasonably grounded, please? So, if you decide, based on the Aspie test & all of us telling you, that's a reasonable opinion, isn't it? As reasonable as a Dr's! When they might not know as much about AS as, say, I do. Sorry to be so blunt, it's an Aspie trait & you seem to need it!
Well, unfortunately most people will not believe you have AS unless you have a medical diagnosis. So just for the sake of telling others, if some weirdness should occur and you need to explain yourself, it's good to have a diagnosis (right?).
17 Mar 2012, 4:29 am
BruceCM wrote:
Can anybody else explain all the possible negative consequences of a diagnosis, please? Um. Got to be 'nasty'. Typical 'black & white thinking, over thinking, over analyzing & all the rest of it! It's medical opinion, do explain how that's more 'true' than your own opinion, when it's reasonably grounded, please? So, if you decide, based on the Aspie test & all of us telling you, that's a reasonable opinion, isn't it? As reasonable as a Dr's! When they might not know as much about AS as, say, I do. Sorry to be so blunt, it's an Aspie trait & you seem to need it!
Hey, it's okay to be blunt. Like you said, I need it. And I know you're probably right. If you have Asperger's it makes sense that you know more about it than a doctor who's only read about it. I have no well-grounded arguments. I just think way too much and this is all quite new to me so I don't think it's weird that I do so.
17 Mar 2012, 4:30 am
17 Mar 2012, 4:40 am
rebbieh wrote:
Kiseki wrote:
Well, unfortunately most people will not believe you have AS unless you have a medical diagnosis. So just for the sake of telling others, if some weirdness should occur and you need to explain yourself, it's good to have a diagnosis (right?).
That's what I'm thinking.
Uh huh. Then, most people won't know much about AS, so you'll have to tell them, anyway. If they really are your friends, they should take your word for such things without a diagnosis. In some senses, the 'experts' can know more about Asperger's but, really, that's in general terms. Even if they've worked with a lot of Aspies, which is far better than just having read all the books, of course! Who do you think you need to tell about, basically, yourself & how you work that won't believe you know yourself, without a medical opinion, then? So glad you understood my posts correctly!
Most 'normal' girls would have found them at least a bit insensitive & unsympathetic, you know?
17 Mar 2012, 4:57 am
BruceCM wrote:
rebbieh wrote:
Kiseki wrote:
Well, unfortunately most people will not believe you have AS unless you have a medical diagnosis. So just for the sake of telling others, if some weirdness should occur and you need to explain yourself, it's good to have a diagnosis (right?).
That's what I'm thinking.
Uh huh. Then, most people won't know much about AS, so you'll have to tell them, anyway. If they really are your friends, they should take your word for such things without a diagnosis. In some senses, the 'experts' can know more about Asperger's but, really, that's in general terms. Even if they've worked with a lot of Aspies, which is far better than just having read all the books, of course! Who do you think you need to tell about, basically, yourself & how you work that won't believe you know yourself, without a medical opinion, then? So glad you understood my posts correctly!
Most 'normal' girls would have found them at least a bit insensitive & unsympathetic, you know?
Well, I agree with you, but it hasn't been that way for me. Even my friend, who is a licensed psychologist, doesn't believe I have AS cuz I am fairly well-adjusted. Of course I made AS my special interest for quite a while and I know it inside and out at this point. I doubt that all people working in the medical field are the same.
17 Mar 2012, 4:59 am
BruceCM wrote:
Who do you think you need to tell about, basically, yourself & how you work that won't believe you know yourself, without a medical opinion, then?
Sorry, I don't understand the question. Could you rephrase it?
BruceCM wrote:
So glad you understood my posts correctly! Most 'normal' girls would have found them at least a bit insensitive & unsympathetic, you know?
Don't worry, I appreciate people who are honest and say what they think.
17 Mar 2012, 5:02 am
17 Mar 2012, 5:14 am
Who do you need to tell about being an Aspie? It's 'only' part of who you are & how you work, you know! If it's becoming your special interest, you will quickly learn far more about it than most GPs, psychologists, etc, know, I promise.
And I wasn't worried, I'm very good at saying what I think, it's just most people don't exactly appreciate it, so I've learned to refrain from telling everybody everything I think. 
17 Mar 2012, 5:29 am
BruceCM wrote:
Who do you need to tell about being an Aspie? It's 'only' part of who you are & how you work, you know! If it's becoming your special interest, you will quickly learn far more about it than most GPs, psychologists, etc, know, I promise.
And I wasn't worried, I'm very good at saying what I think, it's just most people don't exactly appreciate it, so I've learned to refrain from telling everybody everything I think.
And I wasn't worried, I'm very good at saying what I think, it's just most people don't exactly appreciate it, so I've learned to refrain from telling everybody everything I think.
Well, right now I don't exactly need to tell anyone. But it would be nice being able to explain certain things if I ever feel I need it. Also, I'd like my parents to believe me and I'd like to tell my boyfriend about it. I remember about a year ago when I first started thinking about AS and I told my boyfriend about it he just smiled a little bit and said "of course you don't have it". That was it. And I felt all misunderstood. I didn't explain it that well though.
Last edited by rebbieh on 20 Mar 2012, 5:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
17 Mar 2012, 6:11 am
Quote:
I really don't know what to believe now! Most you seem to think I've got AS (and I wouldn't be surprised if I do) but my mum doesn't support me in it which makes me a bit scared. What if it's all in my head? (Yes, I know I've said that before)
Well, technically it is all in your head. Autism is a brain disorder after all
However if others have noticed then it is NOT all in your imagination. How much does your mother know about AS? Has she done any research on the subject? If not then I am afraid she is far less qualified than you. Autism has a scary reputation and no mother wants to consider her child being 'defective' in any way. What makes it even more scary is that she may be the same. Do you or your mother read much? If so, get a copy of 'The complete guide to Asperger's syndrome' by Tony Attwood. It will answer a lot of your questions.
Remember AS does not make you any less of a person than being NT. It is just a difference in how your brain is wired. Current estimates are that about 1 in 100 people are on the autistic spectrum. If that is the case then over 60 million people have it. There are challenges to having AS but there are also advantages. You like order and pay attention to detail They are good things. Can you find a job where those traits are useful?
Quote:
I'm not sure if threw tantrums. I don't think I did. But I know for as long as I remember I've always been a quite withdrawn and I always kept to myself when I felt upset or angry. Does that answer your question?
I just wondered if you had meltdowns as a child. The majority of kids with AS do (but not all) and many adults do as well. I don't and as far as I know I didn't as a child.Quote:
I remember about a year ago when I first started thinking about AS and I told my boyfriend about it he just smiled a little bit and said "of course you don't have it". That was it. And I felt all misunderstood.
That is a very common response, especially from people who don't know much about the subject.
17 Mar 2012, 6:17 am
17 Mar 2012, 6:19 am
17 Mar 2012, 6:22 am
rebbieh wrote:
BruceCM wrote:
Who do you need to tell about being an Aspie? It's 'only' part of who you are & how you work, you know! If it's becoming your special interest, you will quickly learn far more about it than most GPs, psychologists, etc, know, I promise.
And I wasn't worried, I'm very good at saying what I think, it's just most people don't exactly appreciate it, so I've learned to refrain from telling everybody everything I think.
And I wasn't worried, I'm very good at saying what I think, it's just most people don't exactly appreciate it, so I've learned to refrain from telling everybody everything I think.
Well, right now I don't exactly need to tell anyone. But it would be nice being able to explain certain things if I ever feel I need it. Also, I'd like my parents to believe me and I'd like to tell my boyfriend about it. I remember about a year ago when I first started thinking about AS and I told my boyfriend about it he just smiled a little bit and said "of course you don't have it". That was it. And I felt all misunderstood.
Well, you were misunderstood. It happens! It will not make any difference to your parents (just trust me on that, huh?). If your BF won't take your word for it, what on earth makes you think he'd believe a diagnosis, please?
And, yeah, you almost certainly know more about this than your mum! (My parents want me cured, btw.
I've given up arguing with them about it). *shrugs* Discussing it here helps, doesn't it?
17 Mar 2012, 6:25 am
RazorEddie wrote:
Quote:
I really don't know what to believe now! Most you seem to think I've got AS (and I wouldn't be surprised if I do) but my mum doesn't support me in it which makes me a bit scared. What if it's all in my head? (Yes, I know I've said that before)
Well, technically it is all in your head. Autism is a brain disorder after all
However if others have noticed then it is NOT all in your imagination. How much does your mother know about AS? Has she done any research on the subject? If not then I am afraid she is far less qualified than you. Autism has a scary reputation and no mother wants to consider her child being 'defective' in any way. What makes it even more scary is that she may be the same. Do you or your mother read much? If so, get a copy of 'The complete guide to Asperger's syndrome' by Tony Attwood. It will answer a lot of your questions.
Remember AS does not make you any less of a person than being NT. It is just a difference in how your brain is wired. Current estimates are that about 1 in 100 people are on the autistic spectrum. If that is the case then over 60 million people have it. There are challenges to having AS but there are also advantages. You like order and pay attention to detail They are good things. Can you find a job where those traits are useful?
Quote:
I'm not sure if threw tantrums. I don't think I did. But I know for as long as I remember I've always been a quite withdrawn and I always kept to myself when I felt upset or angry. Does that answer your question?
I just wondered if you had meltdowns as a child. The majority of kids with AS do (but not all) and many adults do as well. I don't and as far as I know I didn't as a child.Quote:
I remember about a year ago when I first started thinking about AS and I told my boyfriend about it he just smiled a little bit and said "of course you don't have it". That was it. And I felt all misunderstood.
That is a very common response, especially from people who don't know much about the subject.
I just thought about the situation with my mum. She's very probably the same. I emailed her earlier and asked her why she dismissed AS so easily since she's got almost all of the same symptoms as I do. Just got an answer. The reason for that, according to her, is because thinking about AS wouldn't make her happier and she refuses to think about it and spend energy on it. That is, in my opinion, not a valid explanation for dismissing AS. Not for herself or for me. So I emailed back and asked her to please try to see it from an objective point of view and tell me what she thinks. Haven't got an answer yet.
17 Mar 2012, 6:34 am
The answer will probably remain the same. For her, at least, it probably wouldn't help, so she's (kind of) right about that. You're not 'thinking about it from an objective pov', either, though. That's impossible & long gone time it was challenged. When you or I think, that's you or I thinking, which has to be subjectively, especially about such an intangible, abstract & emotive subject as this. What nice objective 'evidence' can we point to? (None).
17 Mar 2012, 6:47 am
BruceCM wrote:
The answer will probably remain the same. For her, at least, it probably wouldn't help, so she's (kind of) right about that. You're not 'thinking about it from an objective pov', either, though. That's impossible & long gone time it was challenged. When you or I think, that's you or I thinking, which has to be subjectively, especially about such an intangible, abstract & emotive subject as this. What nice objective 'evidence' can we point to? (None).
You're right. What I mean though is that I don't think it's fair to say "No, you absolutely don't have AS because it won't make you feel happier and you're perfect the way you are." That doesn't make sense to me. Do you know what I mean?
