Fun with Literal-mindedness

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What I don't like is when people say something is "like riding a bike". For me that would mean it's hard or impossible because I never learned to ride a bike.

I found this quite amusing it has a bunch a family taking what people say to them literally

http://youtu.be/Gq-hr7Y7n9A

It was funny, but I got squeamish at the end, even though it was fictitious and ended before anything actually happened. Yeah, I'm actually that sensitive.

I love to hear people say "lets hang out". When I hear it I think of two people hanging upside down, wet and hung out to dry on a clothes line.

How about when people "panic over" something? Now, there's an interesting image!

I still wonder whether the chip on someone's shoulder is a potato chip or a chocolate chip.

Master Shipwright and his Assistant, Chatham Dockyard, to Navy Board, 17 June 1756.
On Tuesday a petition was brought to the Honourable Thomas Cooper, Esq., Commissioner of this yard, by john Bissenden and Robert Woodriff, shipwrights, in behalf of the whole body of shipwrights, relating to their carrying chips out of the yard on their shoulders. The next day the Commissioner sent for them in the presence of the Master Shipwright and the First Assistant and represented to them the ill consequence of such proceedings, and read to them your Honourable Board's warrant of the 4 May 1753 on which the said two men withdrew the petition and said they would talk to all the people and believe everybody would be satisfied with what had been said to them. And in the afternoon the Master Shipwright sent for all the foremen and quartermen and read the Order to them of the 4th May 1753, and give every quarterman a particular charge to tell all his men separately what the order was relating to their lowering their chips and carrying them under their arm out of the yard.
This day at twelve of the clock some few of the workmen about one hundred and fifty came up first to the gate without any chips, afterwards about twenty more came and lowered their chips agreeable to the Board's warrant. Then came John Miller, shipwright, about thirty feet before the main body of the people, on which the Master Shipwright ordered him to lower his chips. He answered he would not, with that the Master Shipwright took hold of him, and said he should. He, the said Miller replied, 'Are not the chips mine? I will not lower them.' Immediately the main body pushed on with their chips on their shoulders, crowded and forced the Master Shipwright and the First Assistant through the gateway, and when out of the yard give three huzzas.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chip_on_shoulder

Me (NT): "How can you drink coffee man?" (It was summer)
My buddy (aspie): (With a confused look on his face) I put the lid next to my lips?


My aspie girlfriend: "My dog charlie can be rambunctious around strangers, just to warn you"
Me: "Don't worry, I'll bite him and establish alpha male dominance!! !
My aspie girlfriend: (With an affrad look on her face) Why do you want to bite Charlie? *Sob

Hold your horses for some reason made me think of trying not to wet your pants. Or I'd just run around galloping.

You're driving me up the wall. I'd run to a wall and pretend I was pushing a toy car over it.

How's it hanging? Really really bad image. Man bits, yeah.

Kill two birds with one stone. ARRRGGHHH!! ! Ocean Girl and me have something in common.

Cake walk. A big boot coming down on a white frosted cake.

Pulling up the rear. Oh God, the visuals.

I like the fun things the OP does with literal mindedness. I want to try that.

My Mum thinks 'Let sleeping dogs lie' is an instruction related to caring for a dog.

When I was about 4 years old, my mother and I were sowing garden cress on a saucert in the kitchen. Then I asked "if it's garden cress, why aren't we sowing it in the garden?"