Are you able to withstand loneliness?

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I don't know what ''withstand'' means but I hate loneliness. It's a horrible feeling of exclusion and isolation and makes you think nobody likes you or wants you around. I do try to go out of my way to include myself in social activities but when people don't bother with me than I get upset. Like with my cousins, they are around my age but are all into drinking and dancing, and admittedly they have asked me to come to the pub with them on a Friday so I have gone out with them a few times and found I enjoyed myself and I didn't do too badly either, I got a drink, joined in the group, was cheerful and sociable. I thought that might make me come out of my shell a bit and might make my cousins include me more, but when they come at week-ends they still don't really speak to me. They just come into my house briefly, then bugger off somewhere without asking me if I want to come, so I still feel there is something wrong. Didn't know I was such an awful cousin to them.

If I didn't have 24/7 internet access, I'd probably be spending my time reading books.

I met someone today who I actually approached and introduced myself to. This was kind of a first for me. You may not believe what happened next ... but it turned out he had Asperger's, too. My problem is that I can't make social interactions stick long enough to turn into friendships and relationships, and after talking to him for a while, I found out his specific problem is just the opposite of mine (very social, but almost too much so to the point where it's overwhelming).

Even though I at least shook his hand before we parted ways, I realized that even though it didn't work out this time, I may have gotten the courage to approach him because of discussions here on this board and with my therapist.

I need to be alone for a good amount of time, or else I get too socially exhausted and unable to function. However, if I go too long without interacting, I get inside my head and start to overthink things. It's all about keeping a balance, which, at times, is easier said then done. For example, when I'm working, the interaction on the job overloads me so much that I just want to be alone for the rest of the day.

Are you able to withstand loneliness?

Easily. Let me explain. I don't find loneliness or being alone a negative state of being. I use this time to question social norms, conventional thoughts of wisdom, and to self reflect. I liken my time alone as analogous to being in the wilderness or wandering through a desert, searching for life sustenance, to satiate my appetite for reason and understanding.



TheSunAlsoRises

Yes.
I find social situations exhausting and so I need some "cooling time"

I can not take being lonely. Even if there are people around, but I feel like I'm an invisible wall they can't see I can't take that kind of loneliness either. I'm extremely social and if I'm alone for too long I go into a deep depression.

Sometimes the lonleyness is overwhelming -sometimes I get touch-starved or go days without speaking to more than two people and then it gets bad...

But when I go out to a large gathering or a party I can't wait to get away from the people around me...

i use to be quite a people person but have experienced such solitude in the past few years that what social skills i did have are all but lost and it leaves me unable to go out and live a relatively normal life where i was once able to for the most part. i spent years wishing harder than anything for a companion/lover but have spent all but 6 months of my life single and now i dont even know if i could manage a relationship and needless to say as im about to turn 30 on aug 9th i look at myself and see an extremely disappointed, miserable, and misanthropic person which is deff out of the norm for me in comparison to only a few years ago.

I recently moved to a new region and bought a house. I was pregnant, and ended up obsessing over my house instead of trying to make any friends. Than the baby came and I was too busy to make any friends. It's now been a couple of years, and I feel like I'm staring to lose my mind! It got so bad that I forced myself to go to a church and TRY to socialize which was horribly awkward and ended pretty badly, but I did manage to make a couple of friends while I was there. They aren't my best friends, and I don't have a lot in common with them, and they're around my parents age...but even that has helped me tremendously. Just the knowledge that there are a few people in the area that care enough to give me a call once and awhile helped to bring me a lot of stability. But yeah, unfortunately, it did involve putting myself out there and fumbling through awkward chit-chat. I know that I have to do more of this because the friends I did make aren't exactly what I had in mind (although I really like them!). Now, when I'm out in the community doing things, I'll occasionally run into someone that I know. It's awkward, and I hate it when that happens, but I have to admit that I walk away feeling like I belong and am accepted.

For my part, I rarely feel lonely although I spend a lot of time alone. Rather, the amount of social interaction at my job means that I'm only too glad to get home to my own place and get some rest alone. So I'm content with being single.

Anyway, there's usually so much stuff I'd like to do, books to read, handicraft projects, excursions to the woods, whatever, that I don't have time to get lonely or bored.

If I wouldn't have a regular job though, I'd have to find some other activity that gives regular social contacts, for general mental health and to avoid losing social skills.