Should I threaten my social worker with suicide?

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I understand wondering if you should consider threatening to hurt yourself, I've had the same thought run through my ahead. I'm having a really, really rough time this summer, and it just keeps getting worse. I've watched my adaptations disappear - even things I didn't realize were adaptations. I'm not able to talk to strangers, or leave the house without my boyfriend, or talk on the phone... I've had incidents where I truly wonder if I'm actually losing touch with reality - not just interpretation, but actual perception. I am so shattered that I do believe that during my worst moments lately that if I did not care so much more about how much it would hurt my loved ones, I would have hurt myself.

And yet, when I have actually been at centers and a hospital, begging for help, I am turned away because I answer honestly when they ask if I'm a danger to myself or others. I can't understand it . I have, many times recently, been completely convinced that every person I have ever known would be better off if I had never existed. The only thing keeping me safe is that I know how much it would hurt people if I hurt myself. What if it turns out my overactive empathy is something I've learned and can lose like everything else? What if I have a real psychotic break? All I want is treatment, and because I'm broke and now uninsured, I am placed on waiting lists and sent away.

In any event, I know where you are coming from. I think you should consider Nessa's advice, or try to find an advocate like him/her in your community. I am limited in how often I have the energy to been seek help, and the rejection is devastating... maybe you could find someone who can try to handle this on your behalf? I wish you luck.

Well, I was thinking of trying SNRIs, at any rate... could actually be helpful as I'm terrible with day-to-day consistency (although I did hear that it is, in reality, difficult to get into a hospital).

@nessa238 - bidding's possible here too but it seems to take many years to get anywhere, and from what I've been told I won't necessarily get a flat that's better than the one I have... location seems to be random (although I suppose bidding gives one some control).

(Also, Plodder is correct - I really wouldn't want to share a flat... tried it in the past and had to keep moving due to internal problems, though ironically, as I've mentioned, they were all in quiet locations - opposite issues.)

Smaller towns often mean less noise. At least less traffic noise. But no guarantees that the neighbors won't be fond of 3 a.m. music.

Even if you do move, you'll have to survive until then. I don't know much about it, but you could probably research soundproofing on the internet. There might be ways to decrease the sound getting into your apartment. (But consider fire hazards when designing. Too much flammable stuff piled against your walls would probably be a danger to you and your neighbors.)

My house is on a semi-main road and my bedroom and front room are on the road-facing side of the house. While I was aware of the traffic noise when I moved in I got used to it after a while.
We also have double glazing which helps a lot. When watching the TV I'm not aware of the traffic
except if an ambulance or police car goes past but these don't bother me. I spend most of my time at the back of the house on the computer.

The next door neighbours sometimes play their music loud during the day so it sounds like there's a disco going on but we've tolerated it as it's not ear-splitting and the neighbours on the other side's son used to practice his electric guitar which was much louder and more annoying as he wasn't much good at it.

If you are suicidal, then it is a good idea to speak with someone (even anonymously over a telephone hotline). If you are just unhappy, claiming that you are suicidal will most likely have unfortunate consequences.