Ever been told you're ugly?

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I'm on anti-depressants myself and need to be on them all the time as whenever I come off them I eventually go downhill and end up very depressed. I put this depression almost totally down to the way society treats me for being too different. Perhaps in the past people like me would just have killed themself but with the wonders of modern science I get to battle on lol
- I sometimes wonder if this is a good thing though as it's still an almighty struggle as the way people have treated me - often complete strangers, has made me really hate people at times and I just prefer to avoid most of them full stop.

Unless a person is different enough to engender negative reactions off others on a regular basis the average person has no idea how cruel people can be. They live in ignorant bliss and no amount of trying to inform them what people are like will make any difference as they aren't experiencing it for themself. It's like living in a parallel universe.

I overheard someone who was pretty on the outside refer to me as "that ugly girl". But in the American South, "ugly" can describe someone's behaviour or attitude, which means that the person who called me ugly was actually quite ugly on the inside.

Agreed. Where in the south are you? I live in Shreveport, Louisiana.

Funny how in school I was considered ugly yet a kid who was so morbidly obese he must have weighed over 350lbs was not. Strange how being 'unpopular' warps someone's opinions of you, as if the popular kids said the sky was red people would look at me crazy for pointed out its actually blue. Now that I'm away from that nonsense I'm told over and over how shocking someone so good looking can't find a girlfriend.

I even had a girl who was bigger than a beach whale make fun of my appearance once in school. Why did I have to be so nice as a teenager? I don't know how the chair didn't break under her weight. The girls at school used to make fun of me all the time but the laugh is on them now. One in particular looks like a truck ran over her face thanks to years of drug abuse. Looks good on ya!

I don't think I've ever been called ugly, but comments and teasing about my appearance, throughout high school, led me to believe that this must be the case. I don't believe that now.

Oh yes, that has happened. It's not that fun and I never know how to react. Some people, although they are quite few have told me the opposite as well, I never quite believed them though.

Birmingham, Alabama.

Sigh... I've never understood the emphasis people place in looks. It's just a face. Why should anyone care if someone's face is pretty or ugly, and why should anyone care what others think of their face? I will never understand this obsession people have. It's just a face, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what your hand looks like either.

Yes, I've been told so, and they are correct. My face would not be described by anyone as anything but ugly. It's not hurtful at all, it's just a fact. *shrug*

Of course it's hurtful as being thought unattractive usually entails social rejection as well. You're being told you're not good enough, not up to required standards and the type of people who point out other peoples' unattractiveness invariably do it in a spiteful way too - they make fun of the person, point them out, give them smirking looks - the whole experience is exceedingly hurtful and is the main reason why I generally avoid people and why I've been suicidally depressed on a number of occasions during my adult life. So saying it's not hurtful is categorically wrong from my own experiences - it's nearly destroyed me and it's only the fact that I'm a naturally stubborn person who won't back down that I'm still here!

You're right in saying it's just a face and shouldn't matter but my God it matters to most people and it's been the bane of my life that most people are positively obsessed with appearance and see it as some kind of duty to point out how mine deviates from the norm to each other (within my earshot of course because I'm just a thing to be commented on, not a human being with feelings!) wherever I go as if it's some kind of major personal failing!

In fact if anyone had grounds for mass murder it's me - for how people have treated me with such utter derision without me having ever done a thing to them!

Where exactly is my good feeling towards my fellow man meant to come from?

Last edited by nessa238 on 18 Sep 2012, 5:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

No, not to me it isn't. I will never understand that POV. It's just a face! I know they aren't saying "you're ugly" to be nice or informative, but I've never been hurt by it because.. it's just a face and it's just a fact. lol I'm not up to anyone's standards where looks are concerned, but so what? It's just a face. Sure, some smirk and all that, but so what? They're entitled to think what they want about anyone's face, including mine.

I'm sorry you feel that way, but don't assume we all are that preoccupied with what our mirror shows us or what people say about our face.

Rejection doesn't hurt me either, unless it's from someone I actually wanna be friends with/ get to know (and they are very very few) and if they reject me, that's certainly their right, just like I have the right to reject them.
If anyone rejects me based on my face, it's just as well, because I'm not shallow so I probably wouldn't feel very fulfilled by a friendship with them.

Well I admire your strength of character but wonder if you've had to deal with the sheer level of nastiness that I have; I somehow doubt it or you wouldn't be able to be so neutral about it.

But, people never say 'You're ugly' just to state a fact, like 'You have brown hair' or 'You have long legs'. They're saying it to be nasty and to try to make you feel bad. Hearing another individual being deliberately mean to them has an negative impact on most people.

Exactly

Over-hearing other people comment on my appearance throughout my adult life has had a major impact on my self-esteem and if I weren't as intelligent and conscientious I'd be in prison for murder by now. It's made so much anger build up in me that it scares me!

And then people point out I come across as aggressive - well duh!

Cause and effect people, cause and effect!

I think society damn well deserves it when people go on killing sprees for the way it mentally crucifies people like me!

nope, never...

Yes

I have a squint so look kind of frowny even when I'm in a good mood so people think I am miserable as well, even when I'm not.

I am not fortunate enough to be attractive to men, in part because I am not physically pretty but also because I have an odd personality and am not a normal kind of chick. I find my lack of attractiveness frustrating as I have a high sex drive so I spend half of my life feeling frustrated. That does make me grumpy.

I seem able to get sex if I want it but I don't think this is a very reliable indicator of attractiveness.