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I'm honestly baffled as to why they're doing this. If you go to any spectrum group, it's obvious who has AS and who has ASD. They really are not the same thing.
On what basis do you say this?
Everyone who thinks AS and autism are different tends to point to different characteristics. One person bases it on clumsiness, another on language delay, another on active-but-odd versus aloof/passive... Problem is, those criteria don't line up. You can be clumsy, active-but-odd and have had a language delay, or be aloof and clumsy with no language delay, or agile and active-but-odd with no language delay - all of those people get called AS by some people and autistic by others.
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Grief is normal
Who cares if it's normal? If it causes impairment, people should get help for it, whether or not it is normal. Don't you think NTs should get help when they need it? PTSD has always been the same way - the majority of rape victims meet PTSD criteria, not just the 'atypical' ones. Just because it's normal given your circumstances doesn't mean you can't be helped by a psychologist. Nor does it mean you don't need or deserve help.
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A tantrum is not an illness
Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder is as much a tantrum as social anxiety disorder is shyness or bipolar disorder is being moody.
If a kid is having minor tantrums as a preschooler, they won't qualify for DMDD. If they are having full-blown tantrums at 12, or tantrums in which they pose a serious danger to themselves or others at any age, then they may get diagnosed. And I don't see the problem with that.
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and Aspergers still exits
It never did.