Aspies leaving WP due to percieved "tone"

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Are you aware of individuals on the spectrum that have a) decided not to join WP, or b) left WP, due to a percieved "tone"?
Poll ended at 07 Feb 2013, 5:16 pm
Yes, I don't know why (individuals) left/did'nt join 5%  5%  [ 6 ]
No, I'm not aware of anyone who left/did'nt join 54%  54%  [ 61 ]
Yes, they indicated they did'nt like "negativity" 21%  21%  [ 23 ]
Yes, they indicated that the site was too positive towards ASDs 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
Yes, they thought the site is too pro-cure 2%  2%  [ 2 ]
Yes, they thought the site did'nt take their interests into account 2%  2%  [ 2 ]
Yes, they felt awkward posting when they have had better life experences 2%  2%  [ 2 ]
Other/please explain in a post 13%  13%  [ 15 ]
Total votes : 112

answeraspergers
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23 Jan 2013, 9:02 pm

That is a high quality post.



Dreycrux
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23 Jan 2013, 9:15 pm

It's unfortunate that you all seem to have such negative attitudes and are filled to the brim with angst. It is as if there is an invisible enemy lurking about in your mind.

Unfortunately you cannot change the consciousness of the whole board by complaining about personal incidents of social injustice.



Last edited by Dreycrux on 23 Jan 2013, 9:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.

AgentPalpatine
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23 Jan 2013, 9:17 pm

AgentPalpatine wrote:
I am asking about perceptions of other people, I am not creating this thread to argue if these perceptions are right or wrong, only to collect data.


Could we please keep the thread clean for people to post explanations? There's a whole other sub-forum for discussion.


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Marcia
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23 Jan 2013, 9:24 pm

I know people who don't post here much or didn't join because they felt overwhelmed by the size of the forum, and that with so many members they didn't get to know anyone. I've also seen comments about the layout and the ads.



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23 Jan 2013, 9:32 pm

nessa238 wrote:
I seemed to be better able to cope in an NT environment before my Asperger's Diagnosis at age 34

Post-diagnosis I have far less stress in my life but can't hold down a job as I seem unable/unwilling to tolerate peoples' bullying attitudes any longer, so financially it hasn't helped me at all
but it has helped with learning about myself and meeting others like me so I feel overall it's probably for the best


I always thought I coped better in NT environments but I think that was probably due to lack of self awareness. I do think some things are more noticeable now, though, and causes more frustration because I know what is going on instead of ascribing it to other things on a situational basis.

I think similarly about my diagnosis, though - helping with learning about myself and meeting others like me. Overall for the best.



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23 Jan 2013, 9:35 pm

very high turnover of members



XFilesGeek
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23 Jan 2013, 9:41 pm

No, I don't know of anyone fleeing WP because of "negativity."

The only people who seem to see all of the "negativity" are either creating it, or go out of their way to seek it out.


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23 Jan 2013, 9:43 pm

ANicL wrote:
WP is a support system place where we can share our similarities rather than focus on our differences and we dont expect everyone to be just like us, and dont just get up and leave WP if people are not exactly like you.


Bravo!

Well-stated.


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rapidroy
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23 Jan 2013, 10:18 pm

I come here becouse its the only honest, non sugarcoted place for Aspergers talk and reading i've found. I'm sorry some feel that way however reality hurts sometimes and AS is no bed of roses.



Tyri0n
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23 Jan 2013, 10:36 pm

AgentPalpatine wrote:
I respectfully request the indulgence of the mods, since I am splitting this one off from a very active thread, but I think we might want to gain more data on this issue.

Are you aware of individuals on the spectrum that have a) decided not to join WP, or b) left WP, due to a percieved "tone"? If possible, please indicate which type of "tone" was percieved.

This would include people you know online and/or offline, including friends and family members.

I am asking about perceptions of other people, I am not creating this thread to argue if these perceptions are right or wrong, only to collect data. I included perceptions I've heard of, because I don't want to leave anyone out.


I know someone who stayed away for this reason. I almost left, too, but came to see this place as a good place to vent and get questions answered. I still feel this way, so I'm sticking around for the present.



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23 Jan 2013, 11:27 pm

rabidmonkey4262 wrote:
Some people don't realize that staring at a computer screen all day is not going to fix your life.


It actually fixed mine.



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24 Jan 2013, 1:49 am

rabidmonkey4262 wrote:
There are some self-pitying types, but usually I just ignore them. Some people don't realize that staring at a computer screen all day is not going to fix your life.


Some people don't realize that getting up from said computer screen and going places when you're noticibly different than everyone else, doesn't necessarily fix your life either, in fact it may even make it slightly worse for some. Some of us know this because of the experience of doing so.

It's not simply a way of life or a lifestyle choice, it's just who we are.

As far as the thread goes: I've seen a good bit of negativity here as well. In regards to tone, I think more people take what I type and apply tone to it than I do of their posts, and it has caused problems before, both on this site and others. I probably wouldn't leave because of it, but I think people need to remember that everything that is said, is text, nothing more, nothing less, and tone in relation to that text is entirely the workings of the reader's mind.
In layman's terms: It's all in your head, you're reading more than what is there, you're brain is making up a situation that doesn't exist, you're imagining things.


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24 Jan 2013, 3:02 am

It's a free community - anyone can come and go whenever they please.

I came here because of my very strong suspicion that I am an Aspie. I am reading other people's experiences and comparing them to my own, in order to better understand myself.

I like to believe that WP also teaches me to be more tolerant to other people's quirks. It also helps me talk openly about things I would otherwise be secretive about.


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Raziel
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24 Jan 2013, 3:29 am

I also once left for a while.

I sometimes do that with forums. Leaving for a while and comming back if I liked it the first time there.
There is no real specific reason for it.
I just don't always feel like talking about autism or writing in forums in general.


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nessa238
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24 Jan 2013, 6:36 am

Jaden wrote:
rabidmonkey4262 wrote:
There are some self-pitying types, but usually I just ignore them. Some people don't realize that staring at a computer screen all day is not going to fix your life.


Some people don't realize that getting up from said computer screen and going places when you're noticibly different than everyone else, doesn't necessarily fix your life either, in fact it may even make it slightly worse for some. Some of us know this because of the experience of doing so.

It's not simply a way of life or a lifestyle choice, it's just who we are.


I totally identify with the above - if I go out among people it affects my self esteem very badly as they are often unpleasant to me and it is a constant reminder that I am seen as different/not normal/not as 'good' as others - I find it soul destroying.
I can't see how relentless socialising would make that situation any better; it would just bring more of the same. Peoples' circumstances in life differ greatly and one solution does not work for everyone.

Society in general makes me feel rejected and this forum is a sanctuary from that rejection, where I can be myself and express how I feel. Now people are even saying I can't be myself on here! In life there's this constant pressure to be someone other than yourself which I find very oppressive to be quite honest.

If I was happy with my life I probably wouldn't even need this forum in the first place. People usually receive a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome/ASD because they are having problems in life so it's not unreasonable to expect that a forum for people with this condition would have a certain percentage of people wanting to discuss those problems, and expressing themselves in different ways. Some people have the ability to be always positive and are affected adversely by negativity, some are more negative and have less problem with negative postings as a result or more tolerant of both types of posting. I would never expect other people to act like myself as I know people have different personalities and different life experiences. I would just say to anyone, try living my life and see how positive it makes you! I fail to see why people should be channelled down one way of responding to life as if that's the ONLY way that works - it might work for them but it doesn't for me.



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24 Jan 2013, 7:53 am

some of the complaints here remind me of those people who state on their dating profiles that they "don't want drama". have you ever noticed that such people always seem to generate their own drama, more so than your average people? or like the people who complain that 99% of the world is mean to them, which is statistically impossible - they are actually being mean to everyone they meet.

WrongPlanet is a mixture of positive and negative. it's effectively neutral. but if you bring the negativity with you into threads, that's what you are going to see, everywhere you go. the people who tend to be positive and supportive, or at least neutral, are not complaining about the tone of the site. they are off spreading sunshine and happiness (or at least quiet support) in the forum, which some people are just not noticing under their clouds of gloom.

you want negativity? you will find it.
you want positivity? you will find it.
you expect curebies? they are everywhere.
you expect autism pride? it is everywhere.

for those people that complain of negativity, the best way to change that is to check your own attitude and make a shift, because i am willing to bet that any member could trawl through your posts and see the very same negativity that you are complaining about!

the fact is, we are not neutral machines that filter experiences with any measure of objectivity. we look at posts and threads through the filter of our own expectations and experiences and moods. WrongPlanet is a different animal to each of us, and each of us change it a little bit when we interact with it.


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