If an aspie is rude UNINTENTIONALLY should s/he be chastised

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Doesn't that depend on what you mean by "punishment"? Some forms of punishment are actually quite useful, especially if they involve fixing whatever damage you caused when you broke the rule.

But you have a point with the meltdown and lack of understanding. If you and the kid aren't calm, there's not going to be any good in just stomping and yelling at them and making things worse. Parents should learn to remove themselves from the situation and wait until they're able to be reasonable--they shouldn't let their frustration with the kid block possible communication. If a kid doesn't know why he's being punished and what he can do to prevent another similar incident, punishment is no good.

An unwitting misstep is better treated via informing them of whatever they need to know, though. No punishment necessary.

After being punished it gives me all the more reason to hate myself.

I think a better definition is needed here..

If you are making someone correct the damage from what they did, is that actually punishment or is it just a stern teaching?

To me punishment means to get back at with vengeance. The act of punishing much of the time results in a negative result in return.
One should be helping the person by helping them realise what they done wrong, it should be done calmly as possible but sternly so you still get the point of being unhappy across.

With many people who have ASD, especially more sever cases if you yell or otherwise go at them with anger it will not help, heck it doesn't help with me, people yell around me and I shut down and want to die in a corner, though I am still smart enough to realise what I done, but apologizing rarely makes whoever yelling at you calm down and stop because they are in their own fit of rage.

It doesn't matter what the issues are, ASD, ADD, etc. It is best to start calmly and try and help the person know what they done wrong and state you are upset rather than go off the handle like most people tend to do, or so it seems in my experience anyway.

Many people with ASD tend to handle being yeld at and punished more in the way of "you hate me, everyone hates me", etc. to a varying degree.

Sorry if I seemed a bit vague before, I didn't provide enough details.

To me, punishment involves the imposition of negative consequences as the result of misbehavior. In my home it has nothing to do with "getting back at" or "vengeance," though I recognize that is not true in all homes.

And yes, my daughter cries nearly every time she is punished, even though a voice is never raised, nor is a hand. She protests against being told she was wrong or that what she did was wrong. This cannot prevent me from addressing her behavior. As recently as the past 2 weeks, it has resulted in a meltdown for my son (something very rare), but again, I cannot fail to address his inappropriate behavior for fear of triggering a meltdown. Don't get me wrong, I do my best to avoid triggers and to help my kids manage their environments effectively. My home is a fairly "cozy" place for my kids in terms of accommodations for their quirks, and general understanding. But I would be remiss in my job as a parent to not address things that will impede their growth toward independence, which is my goal.

Sometimes my kids do what they do because of their wiring. Sometimes they do what they do because they are kids. And sometimes they do what they do because of their individual temperaments and personalities. Regardless of the reason, I am not raising them to believe that they can behave however they want, regardless of how it impacts other people. EVERYONE has to learn to overcome things that don't come naturally to them. Nobody is perfect.

I've been chastised many a time for unintentional rudeness. Trouble is I don't really learn from it. I am very literal and often unaware of the effect of my words, and I don't think this will ever change.
These days, I try to say as little as possible and stick to scripted responses. If I were to show my real self and reactions to things I would be ostracized.