Unemotionals

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I took it as "it's not a Asperger's syndrome thing! It's an autism thing" which just seemed like missing the point, but I see I was the one that read it wrong.
Anyway blunted affect is definitely an autism thing, but I'm not sure how many actually are hypoemotional to an extensive degree or if it just looks like it due to lack of ("appropriate") body-language or facial expressions. Could such a large percentage be hypoemotional? Actual dampening of feelings is a really big schizoid trait (and trauma, but you can become schizoid by trauma, and how many of us aren't traumatized?), but I guess if you count in that and alexithymia it could result in such a big percentage. I think ASD tend to run by logic and rationality most of us from what I've seen, but there doesn't have to be a cut off from emotions to do that. The emotions may be different though.

Ah, oops. I just prefer to type "autism."



I don't think there's a single explanation to cover it all, really, and that hypoemotionality is not necessarily more of a sign of SPD than it is of autism. That is, I think, why there are more symptoms and notes on presentation to cover.

I know it's extremely awkward but can you just tell him you want a hug or something?


I guess I can't talk for everyone but I know I have extremely intense emotions on the inside even if I have trouble acting affectionate with human beings for some reason and even have trouble feeling like I care at some times, having to force myself through the motions.


It seems a lot of us are oversensitive to emotional "tension" occurring and find it unnerving. Is he more sensitive if you ever actually break down and cry (sorry if this is too personal) verses being moody?

I think that my hypoemo is like reduced frequency of emotions, not reduced intensity of emotions when I feel them.

Also, since I am socially hyposensitive, there is no social brain function in my head to create emotions in response to social things, e.g. social actions of other people or eye contact.

Much of the hypoemo probably is result of hyposocial.

True true, I should have said one of the most prominent stereotypes, which it is. They got it a bit wrong, as from the outside it do look colder than it is too, but I was feeling like generalizing way too much yesterday...

To anyone else that might be reading:
I have to add when I used the really imprecise word "dampening" I do NOT mean dampening in any way of your usual emotions - it's only compared to NTs. Often not harmful or unpleasant in any way (I think). And I am talking about reduced frequency of, awareness of and/or intensity compared to NTs when I said "dampening".
I'm quite sure there are hyperemotional schizoids out there, so I might say "even bigger/different hurdles than autistics to pass to show them" is a more proper description of it?
Sudden dampening (either perceived or felt) and if it makes you feel bad it is still depression or PTSD or something else! Anything that makes you feel bad should be brought to a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrists/You-get-the-picutre-ists attention and they can probably help you and solve what's going on.

I need to 1. learn the language to talk about emotions. and 2. maybe invent some new words to talk about emotions as "flat effect" is not really working.

Last edited by Anomiel on 16 May 2013, 12:05 am, edited 5 times in total.

Well, it seems like the two don't always go together. I'm hyposocial but hyperemotional. I can definitely see things from both sides and get in the heads of other hyperemotional people, but have trouble acting out and doing/saying what is wanted/needed. It's like there's an invisible wall blocking my sympathy from coming out of my head and translating into social gestures. It's like being trapped in a shell.

Are you socially hyposensitive, like you have no internal reaction to social behaviors of others and are unaware that anything with social meaning occurred?

I have this. This became a huge barrier to conversation last year when my husband and I were trying to adopt because the social workers thought I had experienced 'emotional neglect' as a child because I spoke of childhood memories in a 'detached' manner. We had to do an exercise where we had to look at pictures of children and say what we thought they were feeling and what might have happened to them and what our emotional reaction to that was, and I just couldn't do it because I didn't know enough about the situation to make a judgement, didn't know whether the pictures were real or staged, didn't know anyone in the photos, so I didn't have any emotional response to them. The only exception was a photo of a child pulling a cat's whiskers and I said I didn't like that one because the cat obviously wasn't a hired actor and was clearly actually being hurt for the sake of the photo. I ended up just completely shutting down because our social worker just could not understand that I didn't have an emotional reaction to the pictures and I didn't know what to say to make her believe that I wasn't censoring myself and just genuinely did not understand the exercise. They said I was 'too intellectual' and dismissive of emotions and in denial of the pain I felt, while I was trying to get the point across (obviously unsuccessfully!) that I didn't feel any pain about my childhood (which really wasn't that bad) and that individuals react to things differently and not everyone operates primarily on an emotional level. I don't not have emotions, but I'm not very good at recognising them and verbalising them, and I'm terrible at recognising them in other people. I get really frustrated (an emotion!) when others try to pin emotions on me when I don't have them, like saying, 'Oh, but you must be devastated' after I've just said that I'm okay, or when others are overly sympathetic. I also get uncomfortable and confused when people are very emotional or express emotions which I don't experience. I try to be supportive, but I'm much better at offering practical support than emotional support. The description of alexithymia fits me pretty well, I think, except that I don't think I lack imagination (though my imagination is different to other people's sometimes and constrained in some areas).

Practical support always! The only thing I know to do if someone I know is crying due to emotional reasons is to make them a cup of tea. I give it to them and then leave them alone as I know I'm a terrible sympathiser. Physical actions are the best way to show someone I care.

My parents sometimes get annoyed with me, because if I haven't seen them in a long time, they say something like 'I love you' and give me a hug. I dislike hugs but will endure it because it makes them feel better, but I can't say 'I love you' back because I'm not sure that I feel the same 'love' that they seem to. I'm sure that I love them in some way, because I would miss them if they died. Romantic love is about a million times more confusing.

re: flat effect.. Does anyone else feel like they are smiling really big, but it doesn't look like it? Me and my partner can read each others facial expressions fairly well, and we both use very subtle expressions that still mean the same thing as the exaggerated expressions NTs use.

About giving emotional support.
I can't give emotional support.
I don't know what another person could be feeling.
So how could I be able to give them emotional support?

This means I'm better at giving practical support, I guess?

I'm hyposensitive emotionally in social interaction which leads to me getting bored and withdrawn when nothing I'm interested in is being discussed. I'm not hyposensitive cognitively though. If I'm paying attention I'm usually aware, sometimes more so than male NTs. I don't think I'm totally being delusional in thinking I have some strongly empathic traits, depending on the exact situation. Maybe I was unaware at one time very early in my life but I seem to have outgrown it.

Oh I see, emotional hypo + cognitive aware?

I am emotional hypo + cognitive unaware.

Are there people who are cognitive unaware + emotional hyper? That seems like the kind of thing that intense world is talking about.

I am definitely emotional and oversensitive rather than unemotional, but I have difficulties in understanding, interpreting and expressing socially derived emotions.

In the Intense World Theory they suggest that the hypothesized underlying mechanism in autism (hypersensitive brain) causes the autistic person to become seemingly emotionally and socially isolated. The deficits in autism are seen in this theory as a sort of a coping mechanism.

I personally feel it is difficult to know which comes first. Is the isolation and withdrawal from the social and emotional primary or is it the social deficit, which then secondarily leads to isolation? The Intense World Theory sees the seeming isolation as an escape from the intensity of the experience and hypothesizes that this process then leads to visible social deficits. Some other theories on the other hand suggest that the social deficit is primary (e.g. mirror neuron theories).

I think that the logic behind the Intense World Theory seems plausible for the sole reason that many autistic persons already have “proven” hypersensitivities in the sensory domain. And to which sort of a behavior it often leads? - Similarly to avoidance by all means.

My mind turns often automatically away from people to things and to my own inner sceneries. Without the conscious effort to look like I am there and “aware” I’d be happily staring the pattern in the asphalt or the lines in the ceiling. But why is it so? There’s the unanswered question.

Well, actually it's more complicated than that. I'm not hypoemotional at all on the inside. It's more like there's an invisible barrier holding me back from expressing myself and it's only half due to anxiety. Around people I feel very stilted, bored, and awkward, constantly lost in my own thoughts, and unable to concentrate on being social. It's like I can't shut my brain off enough to be warm or try to connect. On the outside I'm a total space cadet. On the inside I'm hyperemotional and yearn connection. Also, I only have the cognitive empathic ability when I'm paying attention and not overwhelmed, which is probably less than 1% of the time in real life. The intense world theory definitely describes me better than hypo-emotional + unaware.

I think I might be hyperemotional + congitively unaware, but I'm not sure. (Not sure about the definitions for cognitive unawareness and hyperemotional)

I'm very very sensitive to other people's emotions, I just have no idea why the emotions are there and I sometimes have trouble with figuring out the specifics of what other people are feeling. The reason(s) for the emotions have to be explained to me unless it's something very obvious. When people explain the reasons for whatever they feel, I may or may not understand their explanation.