I want to flee

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Something seems exciting about throwing out all my stuff out and living a Spartan lifestyle.

I know though I'll regret it if I throw out all of my Japanese stuff.

BTW, I'm working on improving the container class template (C++) that I made. Basically, I'm remaking it from scratch with some improvements. Because of some of the characteristics of the container class, I made the iterator work a little differently. But now, I realize I don't have to do that, that it can have the same interface as any other normal iterator, so I'm rewriting the library to accommodate that.

Isn't there enough free Japanese video to watch on the internet?

Well it does sound like you have a problem. There seems to be two possible solutions 1. Organize it, 2. throw it away, or maybe some combination of the two. Is there some place you can store it? Maybe you could rent a storage unit. I wouldn't recommend you do that for a long time. That would be a waste of money.

Here is what I'd do if I was you.

1. Get a place to store it.
2. Box it all up and move it there.
3. Look for some storage solutions. Storage containers, shelves, whatever you need. You can probably find them a Target.

:arrow: storage at target.

4. Assemble all that stuff in your apartment.
5. Bring one box of stuff back at a time. That way you won't get too overwhelmed. Organize it on the shelves or into the containers. Throw away anything you can. Then keep bringing back one more box of stuff at a time, until you have it all back in your apartment and organized.

Money is an issue. I'm either breaking even or losing some.

I'm still feeling down, like I don't want to move or do anything. I'm still of a mind to just chuck all my stuff and just face the consequences.

I had some brief suicidal thoughts last night and I felt anxious as I returned to the apartments.

It's tough. I've been there pretty often. The best solution that works for me is to push through it. It feels like you're pulling a dead body behind you because you...really....don't...want...to. Take short breaks and push through it, and you will feel so much better for it.

I've practiced Kundalini yoga on and off for years, and this is one of the reasons why. You practice a simple movement until it becomes difficult and you want to stop....and you keep going. This scenario is very similar. Avoidance makes things seem nightmarishly overwhelming. Just my MHO, anyway.

Thanks, MjrMajorMajor.

I spoke with my landlord. She says I can still have Dish; it's just that it has to be done by a particular contractor and Dish people themselves can't come out. So I'll get to keep TV Japan.

I feel a little better.

Glad to hear that.

If possible ask her what you have to clean in your apartment and if there is a time limit on when it has to be done. Hopefully your landlord will cut you some slack on that also.

So maybe she was just having a grumpy day.

Thanks. I spoke with Dish who redirected me to the local satellite company that is allowed on the property, who says she's going to get the issue fixed up. I'm going to let my landlord know about that tomorrow, so maybe I can talk to her then.