I Dislike the term 'ret*d'...

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She said it was sad. She didn't say she was offended. You're taking it personally rather than facing up to what she did say about the usage of such words.

Also, saying "just a tool" is not really meaningful in the sense of arguing against language being offensive. If words are just tools thus rationalizing a lack of ability to hurt or offend, then stabbing someone with a screwdriver shouldn't injure them...because it's "just a tool."



Others in this thread have said that. You're participating in a conversation with multiple people, some of whom have said some rather nasty things about people in this thread. Rather than acknowledge that and acknowledge where she was coming from, it seems you would rather argue how unfair it is that someone might not agree with you.

Except for the fact that words are not screwdrivers. That is not rocket science, either (OK, I will stop using this phrase now. Sorry).


Yes, I am participating in a conversation with multiple people. That is why I replied to a random person who said something that could fit as a reply to something I said. And in essence, her comment had the same goal: it is unfair that people do not agree with me. In fact, your own replies are that, too: my unfair point of view goes against your unfair point of view, which makes both of us defend the perceived fairness of our own views. But this is becoming an ignoratio elenchi. Sorry about that, too.

You are correct that words are not screwdrivers, but it is generally accepted that words can harm people. I posted two links that explain how this works, one of which even described the neurology involved.

My analogy was not to say that words are screwdrivers, but to say that calling something a tool doesn't make it harmless. Many tools can be quite harmful, intentionally or accidentally so. Call something a tool you might as well hang a "use with caution" sign over it. You might not cut off a finger or put out an eye but you can end a friendship, create an enemy, put someone in fear for their life, intimidate, or otherwise harm someone just by your choice of words.



She didn't say it was unfair. She said it was "sad." What she said does not imply to me any desire to control what you or anyone else thinks. You are reading an entire book into her words apparently for the sake of being offended by them in the same thread where you went on about not being offended. It's very inconsistent.

I am not telling you which point of view to hold. I did not say your point of view was unfair. I am trying to say that you're reacting to things she did not say. I do agree that it is sickening that people insist that because they don't find that words hurt them that they shouldn't hurt anyone. I guess there's the point where one either tries to live in the real world (where words really do harm people) or in some kind of fairy tale where you can say anything you want without any consequences, and I am puzzled as to why anyone would try to defend the latter - or if they are not defending the latter, getting defensive about someone who lamented that it's sad that some people just don't care about the harm they cause.

I do think that perspectives in which a refusal to take others' perspectives into account - not just an inability, but an outright acknowledgment of such perspectives while refusing to accept them, and even making demeaning and insulting comments about them is ... not unfair. "Unfair" sounds too benign. I think it's outright hostile and antisocial. And I mean that in the sense that vandalism and harassment is antisocial. And this paragraph is not a reference to you at all.

Yes, but in the case of words, the harm comes from the person who is listening as much as it comes from the person who speaks. Someone may call me "ret*d" with the intention to offend me, but if I was not offended, no harm is done, despite the intention. Granted, it is not easy to choose not being offended by words, but it can be done. I used to care about words, too, but I eventually realized that it is pointless.


It did imply that it was sickening to not feel offended by words. Which leads to double standard. Which leads to my reply, although I was more interested in using that Ace Attorney animation than anything.


Defending your point of view is not the same as enforcing it. But you need to defend it against something and that something is another, not as fair, point of view. If you feel the need to defend it, you imply that you consider it more fair than the opposing view. And, again, I have not said that I do not care about the harm I have caused: I specifically said I do not use words to harm people who could feel harmed. I am not defending the right to say anything without consequences, either: I was merely pointing out the absurdity in thinking that people who do not feel offended by words, regardless of using them or not (that was never specified), are sickening. While using an animation of Phoenix Wright to do that.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgABbHPdwH4[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmsV1TuESrc[/youtube]

No, oversensitive (often hysterical) people, who get riled up over simple words and can't take a joke, are the problem.

Some people think that everything they don't like, is mean, bullying, against them etc. They just wanna live in their little bubble in Care Bear Land and send hearts to everyone. When faced with reality (i.e. normal people with normal vocabulary) they whine and complain and never stop. Heaven forbid they should hear words they don't like. Everything is bad and evil and everyone is bullying them and they are always the victim and oh-so-victimized

Anyone who think they're harmed by words either need to grow up or they need professional help. Violence does real harm. Violence hurts you. Words are just words. They have no power. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

If you think I'm a psycho, Verdandi, then your world must be filled up with them. I am no angel, nor am I any worse than most people. I have never met anyone who lacked the capacity for nastiness., nor many who has never said anything "mean" (according to themselves anyway).

Soccer22: I've said all I have to say about that here: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf230781-0-15.html (about half way down in my post).

We pick on NTs for their selective ignorance but you don't have to look any further than this forum to find ignorant Aspies who use the term to describe other people "lower" down the spectrum.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt237218.html

Not any further than this thread, apparently.

I don't think that I have capability to be offended by words.

I have tried and failed verry merry berry many times.

To me, words are just words.

+1

The only time I was upset was when somebody in school told me it would have been better off if I were dead.

When you refer to something you have contempt for as "ret*d", you are using this equation:

something I have contempt for=ret*d

However, because "mentally ret*d" still is in the medical vernacular (though that is changing) and appears on many people's medical records, the following equation also exists:

mentally ret*d (intellectually disabled) person= ret*d

If A=X and B=X, then A=B.

So whether you meant it or not, calling something you have contempt for "ret*d" is exactly the same as saying you have contempt for mentally ret*d people. It may not feel like that when it comes out of your mouth, but that's what it is.

Saying the word "ret*d" is a problem for me. It's a word I tend to throw around a lot when I'm upset at people. I've used it jokingly too. I once said a "ret*d" joke and it turned out that the person I said it to had a handicapped son. I felt so f*****g bad, and in fact I felt "ret*d" for saying it. Ever since then I've been trying to stop myself from saying the word, and trying to dismiss it in my mind when the word starts wanting to surface.

I feel like a "ret*d" myself a lot of times and know people think that way about me sometimes, so I have a general insensitivity to it. It's kind of like since I'm a "ret*d" myself it shouldn't really matter if I use the term. It's kind of like how some racial groups embrace derogatory names that were used against them in the past and they appropriate the word, change it slightly, and give it new meaning.

However, I know this isn't the same thing at all. There is no general consensus that it's an ok word at all in any groups, and it's a very harsh and hurtful word, so yeah, I'm actively trying to get it out of my vocabulary.

I don't like the word itself.

Now that the word ret*d is the equivalent of infant sacrifices and murdering unicorns, no one I know says THAT word anymore.

Celebrating with frolicking Care Bears? The world has become kinder?

Now everything is Ree Ree or "block". I hear adults say, "He's such a ree ree, how does he even function." Stupid me. I asked one of the kids what ree ree meant. Slang for ret*d. My biggest duh moment.


Of course the kids were using ree ree instead ret*d, f_cktard, or a**hole (11 year olds can be class acts). The hammer was brought down, then former "ret*ds" were "blocks".

Blocks originally came from the phrase blockhead, which came from the Peanuts comic strip. The charmers knew blockhead wasn't acceptable, so they shortened it to "blocks".

So now you are fighting semantics. Especially when everyone is playing with Legos and insults get hurled.

Once in a while I heard "Charlie" as in Charlie Brown as in ret*d. I'm so old, Charlie=Viet Cong. Thank you uncle who fought in the war.

Sematics is a dodgey thing.

hi callista,
was made aware of what the individual was doing by friends/allies of mine on a now defunct disability forum run by the BBC called ouch.
had been stalked there by him to as well,and he was using multiple sockpuppet accounts to bully and threaten with.
eventualy he must have got fed up because he deliberately started leaving slip ups on purpose on here,the blog and the videos of mine.
had asked friends from ouch via a private forum we used if they coud check this over and say if am going mental or not,they had gone over everything and confirmed what was happening,sister did the same as well.
unfortunately at this point was actualy severely mentaly ill triggered by his prolonged severe bullying,was diagnosed with severe major depressive disorder and severe pyschosis; they believe its paranoid schizophrenia however the LD pysch of mine believes am not able to have schizophrenia with autism and its a part of autism itself; the arrousal system being sent into hyper mode from the bullying,whatever label they give it at least had got medication anyway.
-at the point of finding out what was going on/who the individual was,had managed to ask for help from the BBC and they agreed after checking into this that there was something going on but was going to need to screenshot all the messages from him including all the cryptic bullying which was based on what he learned through our private chats and were undetectable as bullying to anyone else.
parents/support staff and every other human had turned into dangerous individuals sent to cause damage to self-did not even recognise to look at them.
had stopped using the internet because of believing every user was him and was basicaly on a suicide mission to get away from the mental grips of this bully and living in a centre full of dangerous military officials [thats what it was in mind].
when there was no way at all through suicide because they had tore bedroom apart removing anything useable,had used brain injury as a way of wiping out memory but am left with permenent damage as a result.

it was june this year when had finaly started coming back to forums,thankfuly the high doseage cymbalta and respiridone have been helping life slowly drift back to a stage where am able to trust sites and people again, but thanks to learning all his patterns am a pro at spotting his accounts and he still thinks he can get away with taking advantage of peoples emotional/supportive investment on here and elsewhere.
had felt threatened by him and unable to report to WP,a support staff of mine had actualy recieved training from learning disability services called grooming of a vulnerable adult and he said this is exactly what happened and he tried to encourage into allowing the police to get involved,because of the paranoia have not felt able to get this out in the open with authorities like the police.

theres a pretty well known subscription only secure social network site for people with intelectual disability,they punish members who advertise the name even because of this exact reason.
had gotten stalked by him there and he pretended to be an intelectualy disabled individual to other people,he even tried to take advantage of the ID cousin of mine who was on friends list [we share the same surname and talked to each other a lot], had got her to join it as her dad didnt feel forums were safe enough.
am able to spot his sockpuppets a mile away now thanks to learning how peoples writing and personality styles differ,he is always easy to spot.
the social network of mine was originaly started as a base for information and support on cyber bullying against ID adults and a free safe social network community for people with intelectual disability and profesionals [have expanded the disability list because its not just us who are vulnerable to online pyschopathic predators],am supported by the trafford council and trafford learning disability team with team LD and theyre also in the slow process of sorting out funding for it so we can get a better hosting account.
theyre very supportive and help every week with coming to terms with what happened.

the staff member who had said that was in a previous residential home run by social services learning disability residential team,whereas am living under a fantastic severe and profound autism organisation now called fairfield residential.
had actualy been depressed because of the lack of quality of life had had in their homes and the abuse was suffering from staff and fellow residents, however because of the ID the depression had not been recognised and had not understood what she meant luckily-had not done anything wrong,was sat on the bed; rocking whilst watching spongebob dvds on the tv and she came storming in the door,was hit with thin razor blades and shouted at;told am a burden on society and fellow residents and shoud go kill self with these [refering to the blades], have only ever used blades to 'cut' before and dont understand the concept of what killing/death means,am very lucky in that sense.
cant be certain but think had spoke with sister about it over email or facebook and she said it was very serious and got herself and dad to write a letter to the head of social services about it,they suspended her [with pay] and thinking she was going to be sacked and never allowed to work with vulnerable adults or children again,they just moved her to a different house.

when had lived there was called fat and ugly by her all the time and told am not allowed to eat kfc/a chocolate bar had wanted from the local co op shop because am already to fat-the dietician of mine had given staff approval to allow both of these because had not eaten food for years due to being moved around residential homes all the time, had even found out this year its in the records of mine that was going to be diagnosed with anorexia around that time but was never taken back to the clinic because the hospital started doing building work [had generators constantly running besides all the electric cutting and banging tools] and the dietician refused to go to the opposite part of the hospital so it was sensory accessible.
had wrote about her behavior on the blog of mine without using her name [used initials] and someone had aparently found the blog from our place and passed it on to her because she put a big complaint in,was threatened in a oh so profesional way to get rid of anything that talks about residential staff in a negative manner.


apologise in advance for the length of this callista,struggle a lot with being able to edit information down and have a non existant short term memory which deletes after every sentance so end up writing way to much.

hope no one in this thread who believes its ridiculous to be hurt by words such as ret*d ever have a intelectualy disabled child.
have been severely bullied throughout entire life due to having intelectual disability [and not because of the effects of it having an impact on others but purely because of having it],have been beaten into unconciousness and never experienced pain because have got no sense of pain at all but the meanings and connotations behind words have acutely hurt self.
does WP now come with a god mode cheat or is there a god hovering around on some cloud passing out special authority badges to whoever wants one? who exactly is giving out this right to tell someone else theyre an inferior being because they understand and react differently to them?
am struggling to understand how anyone can make such judgements of us without understanding the impact of the word on those of us with intelectual disability,nor the effect it has on us.
are welcome to meet up IRL at a NW england autism awareness shindig this year if are local if want to get a better understanding or get to know online otherwise please stop being so disrespectful when am doing nothing of the sort in return,nor is verdandi.

being told are better off dead is still a bunch of words.
how does that make it any different to 'ret*d'?

the problem it sounds here is that people are unable to relate to the connotations and the absolute dehumanization other people suffer from this word,nor relate to the baggage it comes with,so are automaticaly thinking it doesnt hurt.
now am able to understand not understanding because we all not understand things,but will always take exception to belittling the way someone else feels mental pain.
am certain most of the autistic community can probably relate to being at the very least abused at some point in their life due to thinking differently,now try applying that to other people and realise we arent all the same nor does it make any more or less superior or inferior.