Here's what I find evil about socialization

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/lurks into the shadow of a nearby thicket
/looks broodingly over shoulder at periwinkle
/spins and disappears under black cape between the trees

sorry... i just could not resist.... .such fun...

now back to our regularly scheduled program.

Awesome!

Yes, being mentally unhealthy is pretty much considered the same thing as being disadvantaged by society, if it's related to invisible traits. If a visible minority is disadvantaged by society, it's considered society's fault, but if an invisible minority is disadvantaged by society, it's considered their own fault. For instance, if there was a lone black man living in a racist, all white town in the deep south, he would be disadvantaged by that society, but it wouldn't be considered his own fault due his inability turn white to adapt to that society, it would be considered that society's fault for not accepting him for his differences. If a man with Asperger's is in a place where he is disadvantaged by society, it is considered his own fault due to his inability to turn NT to adapt to that society.

well, i went into the the thread with these underlying thoughts:

"really? he's worried his child is at IMMINENT RISK for suicide and he's posting for help on the INTERNET? if this is for real, this guy is either an idiot or has some major personality disorder. JUST IN CASE, i think i'll post some basic information, but i'm not going to invest too much energy. Even if this is true, this is not the way to handle it and there's little i can actually do."

"really? i posted and offered to get him immediate help in his area, and he never responded? that's interesting."

"really? he disappeared and you posted here right away? you aren't out driving the streets, frantically calling everyone who knows him, checking emergency rooms, calling the police? c'mon..." (even briefer comment/question alluding to that point)

"maybe i should link this in the WP internet forum" (done)

spoke to mod.

further underlying subtext to my thoughts:

"Probably this is BS, but it does no harm to me to provide some thoughts and guidance. who knows - maybe someone will read this who CAN be helped. At worst the OP will feel triumphant, which costs me absolutely nothing. I'll go ahead and post, I just won't flip out over it. Maybe someone else will sense my reserve also and be helped not to overreact."

frankly i'm just embarrassed i didn't actually say something first, but when another poster questioned the validity of the thread, i had to offer support at that point.

i think it's important on the internet to know how to trust provisionally, to know how to offer a little trust until someone demonstrates they are real and deserve more, and to know how to recover when any trust has been violated.

what people offered on that thread was real, from their hearts, and to be admired. i encourage them to stick with that gift, to know that even if the OP on that thread was full of s**t, they were not and need not be embarrassed or ashamed of having acted heroically, that they actually helped themselves by attempting to help another, and that who knows - maybe some parent was reading that thread who learned something that will someday help their child. or maybe someone who was feeling suicidal read that thread and felt better. we just don't know. but a lot of positive care was projected, and i cannot believe that is all bad.

maybe also by discussing it, there is something we can all learn.

good businesses do it at the end of a project, i forget what it's called - oh yeah. debriefing. what did we do right, what did we do badly, what can we do differently in the future to be better.

Seems kind of unfair doesn't it - I'll have to get used to life being unfair. I hate injustice.

I've been struggling with this my whole life, why do we even have a concept of fairness and unfairness in the first place when there is no natural law about it and the society benefit is skewed towards unfairness while loudly professing that fairness is the preferred option - so that basically only those willing to work out it's a ruse and then willing to conform to the deception succeed, socially speaking.

And the whole love thing, don't even get me started. People use the concept of love as a tool to control and manipulate. I almost cried when I read someone on this thread talk about their wife speaking of actions as being 'not loving'. What that actually means is 'not taking me and my wishes into consideration' which is, as you point out, actually an act of selfishness.
(I really hope nobody will feel upset because of my words but I guess it is possible because I felt upset by other people's words, although I don't blame them, of course, it's my problem)

However, I don't think there is a workable holistic solution available for the human socialisation which is fair to everyone, I cannot see how this logically can be possible. Any ideas?