What is the definition of the autistic spectrum?
Zylon
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 74
Location: deep within my shell
18 Jul 2014, 2:26 pm
btbnnyr wrote:
I don't think that most people can assimilate what they see in a store.
There are too many things in their field of view.
They can only target what they are looking for or browse small sections in series.
After awhile, they can learn where different items are in the store.
If they go to different stores, they can apply their learned knowledge about previous stores to get general idea of where are the things that they are looking for.
I have good visual working memory and can hold many things in my mind at the same time and quickly switch between them and what I am doing with them in the physical world.
But I suck at planning things ahead and can't think ahead either.
As soon as I start doing, I know what to do, but I don't know what I am going to do before I start doing it.
There are too many things in their field of view.
They can only target what they are looking for or browse small sections in series.
After awhile, they can learn where different items are in the store.
If they go to different stores, they can apply their learned knowledge about previous stores to get general idea of where are the things that they are looking for.
I have good visual working memory and can hold many things in my mind at the same time and quickly switch between them and what I am doing with them in the physical world.
But I suck at planning things ahead and can't think ahead either.
As soon as I start doing, I know what to do, but I don't know what I am going to do before I start doing it.
I have bad visual working memory and can not hold many things in my mind at the same time and cannot quickly switch between them and what I am doing with them in the physical world.
But I am OK at planning things ahead and can think ahead too (as long as working memory is not involved, as in chess).
But as soon as I start doing, the problem begins.
If you have an ability much better than someone else, you may not realize how the other person could have trouble. And you do have abilities much better than mine. To you, assimilating enough cues to navigate a store is so easy that you do not realize how much working memory it takes.
In other words, you and I are very different from each other. NT is one thing, but not-NT is infinite in possibility. My brother is also very not-NT, but he is very different from both you and me.
18 Jul 2014, 6:09 pm
Zylon wrote:
Waterfalls wrote:
I remember arguing I did not have AS because I felt I didn't quite fit ...
I did not know we don't remember our childhood, that's not true for me....
The definition of ASD doesn't include all of that. It involves communication problems, problems with social understanding (in a child, can't, by adulthood may me able to think through by analyzing), some sort of restricted repetitive behaviors, sensory issues. .
I did not know we don't remember our childhood, that's not true for me....
The definition of ASD doesn't include all of that. It involves communication problems, problems with social understanding (in a child, can't, by adulthood may me able to think through by analyzing), some sort of restricted repetitive behaviors, sensory issues. .
In what ways did you not fit?
According to studies, people with aspergers remembered childhood memories more as information and less as reliving it, and their early memories were fewer than NTs. I know this is only an average, and it would not concern me if my childhood memories were the same, or even a little above, average NTs. However, my early childhood memories are extremely above normal, both for the "realness" factor, and for the number of memories. My memories of being an infant are actually more lucid than my memory of this morning.
My communication problems as a child was just that I was very shy. I could tell by their behavior that they were living in an entirely different psychological world than me, and they were so dynamic that I was frightened of them. They were oriented to a dynamic, environmentally interactive reality, and I was oriented to a purely experiential reality. I could tell what they were thinking and how they felt, and I knew how alien they were.
I felt I did not really have the rigid repetitive behaviors. I felt the difficulty I have communicating was never severe enough I be called a disorder. And I felt I did not look that different socially.
I felt I did not have this and still feel it isn't that bad. However it is apparently enough to be noticeable and I eventually came to realize the diagnosis maybe isn't so much about fitting or not fitting exactly what the criteria seem to mean to me but rather about what they mean to other people. And I realized that I looked rigid the way I was arguing. And I realized maybe the people who are saying I'm different, maybe they are right. I mean I knew I was different, just, I don't seem different to me. I seem like me. I'm normal to me. Yes I sometimes feel a a lot of confusion trying to word things. And have a lot of trouble identifying my emotions and have to think through how to deal with others and be coached. But I think it's like being color blind maybe, where I don't really see that red and green exist to miss them.
Now I kind of understand things differently. That the struggle to word things as a child, and still it gets very hard when I am upset, and is alway some level of effort, that struggle isn't typical, and when my therapist says I have significant communication challenges, I guess now I get that from the outside, it looks harder for me and gets labelled, because it is really hard. And that people are uneasy with me at times because I really am working at being social rather than just naturally connecting. And I guess I see that other adults don't flap their arms much or cover their ears from noise.
But I still feel like a person just like anyone else. I don't really feel that atypical, more that there is some gap, some chasm, between me and other people that sometimes opens up. Sometimes it's not there at all, other times it's huge, I never know which way it will be.
But I do get what you are saying, you don't feel ASD fits you, and that's frustrating for you.
Zylon
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 74
Location: deep within my shell
18 Jul 2014, 7:28 pm
Waterfalls wrote:
Zylon wrote:
Waterfalls wrote:
I remember arguing I did not have AS because I felt I didn't quite fit ...
I did not know we don't remember our childhood, that's not true for me....
The definition of ASD doesn't include all of that. It involves communication problems, problems with social understanding (in a child, can't, by adulthood may me able to think through by analyzing), some sort of restricted repetitive behaviors, sensory issues. .
I did not know we don't remember our childhood, that's not true for me....
The definition of ASD doesn't include all of that. It involves communication problems, problems with social understanding (in a child, can't, by adulthood may me able to think through by analyzing), some sort of restricted repetitive behaviors, sensory issues. .
In what ways did you not fit?
According to studies, people with aspergers remembered childhood memories more as information and less as reliving it, and their early memories were fewer than NTs. I know this is only an average, and it would not concern me if my childhood memories were the same, or even a little above, average NTs. However, my early childhood memories are extremely above normal, both for the "realness" factor, and for the number of memories. My memories of being an infant are actually more lucid than my memory of this morning.
My communication problems as a child was just that I was very shy. I could tell by their behavior that they were living in an entirely different psychological world than me, and they were so dynamic that I was frightened of them. They were oriented to a dynamic, environmentally interactive reality, and I was oriented to a purely experiential reality. I could tell what they were thinking and how they felt, and I knew how alien they were.
I felt I did not really have the rigid repetitive behaviors. I felt the difficulty I have communicating was never severe enough I be called a disorder. And I felt I did not look that different socially.
I felt I did not have this and still feel it isn't that bad. However it is apparently enough to be noticeable and I eventually came to realize the diagnosis maybe isn't so much about fitting or not fitting exactly what the criteria seem to mean to me but rather about what they mean to other people. And I realized that I looked rigid the way I was arguing. And I realized maybe the people who are saying I'm different, maybe they are right. I mean I knew I was different, just, I don't seem different to me. I seem like me. I'm normal to me. Yes I sometimes feel a a lot of confusion trying to word things. And have a lot of trouble identifying my emotions and have to think through how to deal with others and be coached. But I think it's like being color blind maybe, where I don't really see that red and green exist to miss them.
Now I kind of understand things differently. That the struggle to word things as a child, and still it gets very hard when I am upset, and is alway some level of effort, that struggle isn't typical, and when my therapist says I have significant communication challenges, I guess now I get that from the outside, it looks harder for me and gets labelled, because it is really hard. And that people are uneasy with me at times because I really am working at being social rather than just naturally connecting. And I guess I see that other adults don't flap their arms much or cover their ears from noise.
But I still feel like a person just like anyone else. I don't really feel that atypical, more that there is some gap, some chasm, between me and other people that sometimes opens up. Sometimes it's not there at all, other times it's huge, I never know which way it will be.
But I do get what you are saying, you don't feel ASD fits you, and that's frustrating for you.
You sound like you do have some of the typical features I read about autism. But you wouldn't see it so much in yourself, but rather you see it in NTs, because to your perception, it is the NTs who are different . Perhaps what you are blind to in them represents what they are blind to in you.
I would say that my condition is more severe than yours, but very different than yours. You are more autistic than me, but I am more non-NT than you. The chasm between me and NTs is HUGE, and the problems it causes is overwhelming.
NTs are completely blind to me.
18 Jul 2014, 7:55 pm
I try not to focus on things as differences or that they are large, it just upsets me.
You do sound like you really struggle with a lot of things, and you are right. I have found ways around many of the things that are difficult.
I am curious but understand if you don't want to answer. Have you gotten anything out of this thread?
