The Aspie Poseur

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why? thinking you're autistic at anypoint is only a waste if you just give up and stop trying.

i was 24 when i started suspecting. i feel much better about myself thankyou

Where do you get this notion from ?

I dont understand what you mean.
Give up and stop trying what?

You would not consider a life of self-delusion a waste?

Look at the old aspies. The 50+ ones. They are what they are. They advocate continuing to struggle to fit in.

Then look at the quotes (some) of the young aspies. They bemoan "I am what I am, and I'll never overcome it. Gimme sum pillz, plz." Perhaps they simply dont see the light ahead. Perhaps they were taught that they were victims until they believed it.

Mindset determines functionality.

Then you see people arrive here at WP, are overjoyed at finding a community that fits them. In time, they need to pull back(take a break from WP) because the community(and not just negativity) pulls them away from real life concerns. They immerse, fall deeper into themselves. Many members have posted that very thing.

Oh. Well, why didn't you say so? You know that is lost on me! I was doing the deer in the headlights look but you couldn't see it to appreciate it.

On a lighter note...

I get dragged to lunch by one of my NT co-workers (she also touches and hugs me all the time..cringe) and we are talking about my "natal" chart. (This is why she asked when I was born and where! I'm so clueless it's pathetic.) Then, she starts talking about her baby (which would usually completely disinterest me although I actually like her baby for some strange reason) and suddenly it hits me. She says that she knows her daughter is different and she wouldn't be surprised if she didn't talk or if she felt like shoes were weird on her feet. She tells me she is overly sensitive to sounds, especially strange ones and has a very marked reaction (screaming hysterically and struggling). Hmmm So I start asking her things from the diagnosis and what happens? She looks at ME and says, "It's you! You're one of them!" I guess there's no hiding. This was after she told me she sees me as emotionless, analytical but never do any fun things, good written communicator but hate to talk, etc. Only I could have such a lunch with the possible exception of some people here.

I didn't confirm or deny what she thinks she is so sure of and my face remained a blank. I doubt if I told her that I'm not "official" it would matter. She is pretty much a high end feeler, so she will go with her feelings I'm sure.

You are over-generalizing.
edit: I am not going in depth as to why. But just look at all your sentences beginning with 'they'.
I can find counter-examples for everyone of them.

sorry... poor quote editing.

i think you said that in reference to it being bad to DX yourself prior to your 30s or something... cause it's a waste to go through youth thinkin you're autistic when you're not.

Actually, the official criteria now for AS appears to be HFA with NO mental disabilities besides social, and NO clinically significant delays in development. It seems an IQ test and a conversation with someone that knew you WELL from 1.5years could easily clarify that. WHO CARES though? You will have most of the problems, and may even have some of the benefits that even AS people aren't guaranteed to have.

You're right though, HECK, they didn't even have HFA as a diagnosis when I was checked out. Another doctor just prescribed ridalin, which I never took. I guess they figured I had ADD. At the time, I was VERY observant, did lots of different kids of puzzles, was recognized as smart, got good grades, and was FAR ahead of my peers. The school just didn't like that I wasn't interacting with my classmates. Does that sound like ADD to YOU?

Steve

Yes i did say something like that.
Not like i am setting an age-limit.
But there is a distinction between someone self diagnosing at 24 than 44. ( I never had any idea 'who i was'; whetever that means when i was 24.)
The thought of someone self-diagnosing at a young age; going through their life with that mindset i find very sad, also frightening.
I mentioned youth specifically, because ( i knows its a cliche), but these are the times you look back at and cherish ( even if you are autistic )
If nothing else, to fake AS is a waste.

Its true. Many people with social phobias use Aspergers to make them feel better. It's not that they are doing it on purpose its just that these people feel the need to belong and have sth to blame for their condition. Nothing wrong with that IMO, as long as they share so many common phobias with people with AS...its like they have it but in a lesser extend.

As long as I am not officially diagnosed i might be a "faker" as well

This is very close to being offensive.
Mindset does not deternmine functionality in a lot of cases.
I have the mindset of a neurosurgeon. Would you give me a scalpal, then bend over?

Mindset is one determiner of functionality. A person without the proper mindset won't function as well in certain areas, for instance. But it is only one determiner of functionality. And for that matter it's not always the one people expect. There's evidence for instance that the people with polio who push themselves the hardest (and at first seem to gain the most functionality), have more likelihood of developing post-polio syndrome and in a more severe form, later in life, because all that straining against how their body works takes a definite toll. Similarly, I pushed myself and was pushed from the outside very hard in youth and lost a lot of that functionality as I got older as a result.

Mere determination and brute force only gets you so far, and can result in slamming into a brick wall over and over instead of figuring out a different route to take. You have to look at a lot of things in life: What do you want to do with your life? What are your capabilities? How far can you stretch those capabilities? Are there any drawbacks to doing so (e.g. will other capabilities suffer as a result, will there be long-term negative consequences)? What should you be doing with your life? What is your environment like? Etc.

Then you have to figure out what to do based on all that knowledge. Not by sticking to pat slogans like "overcome your disability" etc. Figure out what you need to be doing and figure out how to do it. It doesn't necessarily mean it'll push you more towards normal. Sometimes it'll push you away from normal. Sometimes it'll push you towards normal. Both of those are okay. Normalcy for its own sake or lack of normalcy for its own sake isn't okay. But too often people's attempts to do what they need to do (and coincidentally head either towards or away from normalcy in the process) are seen as doing normalcy or anti-normalcy for their own sake, rather than the normalcy (or lack thereof) just being a by-product of what the person is trying to do in a carefully considered way.

But disabled people are fed essentially a bunch of memes about disability (I tend to hate the word "meme" but it fits here). Like about the idea of "giving up" and "overcoming" and a lot of other things like that. They're just words and have little to do with right and wrong in the actual situation, but they acquire a lot of power in certain people's minds.

Mindset certainly isnt everything, but the lack of a good one holds a person back.

I too want to avoid bashing into a wall in a futile effort. I imagine a fly trying to go through a pane of glass and expending its life, when a door is open 2 feet away.

Its not the same as being rigid though. It means that a setback means you change direction instead of just standing there crying.

I agree. This could easily turn into a witch-hunt, while these 'poseurs' are just confused adolescents, merely looking for somewhere to belong to.

First you say functionality was governed by mindset, and instruct people how 'they' should behave.
Now you talk of flies and doorways.
Do you have a point?

I imagine someone reading a few books on NLP; watching a few Bandler videos and pointlessly regurgitating the quackery as if it is gospel.

NLP is a joke, I have no idea what bandler is(a band i'd guess), and if you dont see my point, then I guess I dont have one, do I?