SeriousGirl wrote:
LadyCass wrote:
I don't think so either. It would be a nice excuse for the parents to hide behind and the kid to broadcast, but it doesn't do things like that. If he is AS, he is probably something else as well.
Of course, the parents aren't helping. Even if it causes meltdowns, you've got to enforce some rules. No smoking and no drinking would probably be good starting ones. He would learn eventually.
You know I used to think the same way and took child developmental psychology in college which purported all these theories about parenting. Studying anthopology made me realize that some cultures raise their kids in the most brutal ways and they turn into responsible adults in those cultures. Genetics has proven that 50% of all behavior is inherited either directly genetic or indirectly genetic. Look at identical twin studies, particularly those raised apart. But after I read the "Nurture Assumption," I had a forehead smacking moment and realized that children behave a lot more like their peers than their parents. They even learn language from their peers. We have a great potential to leave emotional scars, but very little influence on behavior except for our genes.
The kid is acting like an obnoxious teenager because he is hanging out with them. He needs intensive intervention but I would be much surprised if he doesn't end up in prison.
I agree with you that he probably picked up a lot of it from outside the house. However, that doesn't change the fact that his parents have done nothing to stop it. No matter how your friends act, if you cannot act the same at home (because of consquences given by the parents) then you are less likely to get into the habit of it. By allowing his behavior, his parents have sent him the message that it's ok to smoke and drink and be destructive because he's different. If the parents had punished him, he would have realized that he couldn't behave that way in the house, around respectable people. While he may have picked up most of his habits from his peers, his parents have enforced it. They need to intervene if they expect their child to grow up right.
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"Nothing worth having is easy."
Three years!
21 Mar 2007, 11:53 pm
