Is it true Aspergers cannot lie?

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Wikipedia lists about 33 descriptions of different ways people tell lies to each other. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lie

When I first read it I tended to call some descriptions "not exactly lies" but then noticed these were behaviors I was merely being defensive about, because they were behaviors I'd exhibited, or admired, at one time or another. Reality strikes.

Lying to someone to "protect" them actually sounds like "protecting yourself" because you don't feel capable of handling the outcome of telling someone the truth. Do you really wish for others to lie to you rather than tell you the truth? Are you incapable of handling the truth? Are you afraid of breaking down upon hearing the truth and do you believe people will feel less of you? I don't know any people that feel this way. Nor do I think anyone should have to feel this way but NT society is built on fabrications and some people may believe (or wish to believe) this is true.

Lying always entails "doing" something to others. By this I mean the "other" will always have their life/reality twisted a little by your lie. They may or may not find out the truth later, but if not they will live with your lie, believing it to be the truth, for the rest of their lives. Is this what you want to do.....the type of person you want to be?

Oh! But what about a surprise birthday party? Are you incapable of creating a surprise party without lying or is this merely the most convenient way to do so? For those who have spent most of their life lying this would automatically be the case, and you could make a case that the lie was to be revealed and not kept secret, but I'd contend this is just another of those "slippery slopes" we find ourselves called on to avoid or accept on our path through life.

Lying is a very accepted social phenomenon in NT circles. Children raised lying have gained much in the way of social skills by learning to lie and how to fabricate "back-up stories" and etc. to facilitate their lying. I understand psychologists think this is a good thing for socialization reasons. However lies seem to work "best" when told to those with less socialization and who have less understanding of this accepted social concept. Anyone here ever had any experience in this area? This may be a big part of the reason I'm personally against lying.

Perhaps, in the wiki noted above, read the short section about "Ethics" and see if you agree or perhaps can add to what is said.

One day as Manjusri stood outside the gate, the Buddha called to him:
"Manjusri, Manjusri, why do you not enter?"
Manjusri replied:
"I do not see myself as outside. Why enter?"

Aspies can lie, we're just not that good at it. Making eye contact is hard enough when we're telling the truth, and we tend to be honest even when it's painful possibly due to black-and-white thinking. We're usually told as kids that lying is wrong and little kids can't really understand the greyness of that rule but older NT's are supposed to.When I was very young I learned at the religious school I went to that lying is not only completely evil but doing so will result in literally painful and humiliating punishment in front of the whole class.

I also learned in the same school that being happy or proud of your accomplishments is wrong, too. Like when our teacher read us a story where a character with a reputation for being clumsy and dumb helps a sick friend, and when another character tells them how clever they've been and how proud they were, the character smiles and thinks he's not so dumb after all. Then our teacher told us why that was wrong and compared it to something out of the Bible. So it would be better if he had continued to think he was dumb and have poor self-esteem about it. I guess. And people wonder why I'm not really religious.

It's so weird that I could lie as a kid, being an Aspie. I wasn't specifically taught to lie, nor was I brought up in a dishonest family. In fact my mum is rather honest for an NT. I told lies what typical children would tell, you know, like I would have passed the ''don't like behind you when I go out of the room'' lie. Things like that was just a natural thing to me.

I remember when I was 4, at nursery we had to use the whole sheet of coloured paper to create the front of our own house, using cut-out squares for the windows and the door. I didn't listen properly to what the teacher had said, so I started drawing a rectangular square at the bottom center of the paper, and stuck two cut-out squares in it, resembling the two upstairs windows. Then the helper came along and said, ''no, you're supposed to use the whole piece of paper as your house.'' I could tell she would've made me start again, but I didn't want to start again. So, within less than 2 seconds, I made up a fib. I said, ''that is what I'm doing...this is just my front door. We have a big front door, with two windows.'' The helper believed me and I carried on with my picture, and a few days later I found my (completed) work was up on the wall along with some of the other children's work.
But then I started worrying that the teacher or the helper might walk by my house one day and see that I don't have a wide front door with two windows in, and then scold me for it. But I didn't feel guilty for lying otherwise.

So I wasn't 100% honest and naive as a child. I was to an extent, but all children are to an extent.

On a personal level: yes, I can lie, but I don't because I have respect for people. If their feelings are hurt by honesty then they need to fix whatever it is in them that they are ashamed of instead of covering it up and letting it rot. If they do then I have brought far more good to them and this world than any hurt feelings that could possibly have been caused. However, in my experience they never do and I'm just an a**hole, so "meh".

One exception would be if it was required to save someone else's life.
Thank you for listening.

I never consider women as sex objects.

There, done. I lied.

Aspies could, but wouldn't.

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I'm starting to think I don't have Asperger's, you know. I seem to instinctively have a lot of social skills, even though somehow I still suck at making friends beyond acquaintences.

See, I can be honest. But I can lie too. White lies I use quite a lot, to avoid an awkward moment, to save someone's feelings, to avoid getting in trouble, and for lots of other reasons. I like to be honest out of respect, like I wouldn't cheat on my boyfriend, and I always like to tell him things and show that it will be an honest relationship. He likes to be honest with me too. But there's probably been harmless white lies he has told me, and there has been harmless white lies that I've told him, for the reasons I listed a few lines above. ^^^

I know how to use white lies. I find being blunt really awkward. And often I use a white lie to be polite, like if somebody offers me a cake and I want one, I sometimes say no thanks. Don't know why it feels polite to turn down an offer, but it's just the way it goes sometimes.
Also if somebody asked me something like ''am I too bossy sometimes?'', inside I'm thinking ''yes you are and it bugs the hell out of me!!'' But if I don't know or like the person too much I just go, ''nah, you're not bossy'', and if I am comfortable with the person I just ''sugarcoat'' the truth by saying, ''well, you're not that bossy. You're just a bit impatient at times, but then we can all be.'' And if they really want an honest answer, I tell them the truth a little more but I still sugarcoat it a bit and try to make them feel better by pointing out one of my quirks. Sometimes that makes people feel comfortable, and you can sometimes laugh it off that way.

Also I don't need to be told to keep a secret. If somebody tells me something, my social instinct kicks in and tells me that this is something the other person wouldn't want me to repeat, so I do keep quiet about it. I just understand social cues like that.

Also I can read body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, emotions, and humour. I ''get'' jokes. I recognise even the most subtle social cues. I never taught myself this. I've just picked it up as a child, like most other children do.

I just feel like I'm an eccentric person with social anxiety, and attention problems (ADD). I really don't feel this Asperger's diagnosis fits me much at all. God knows how I even got diagnosed with it in the first place.

Does anyone else feel bad when they lie?

I hate the way it makes me feel and that's why I don't do it unless I have to (even then it will be as close to the truth as I can get). It just nags at me and I have to correct the lie.

Also hate if someone lies to me.