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Edenthiel
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29 Nov 2015, 8:52 pm

Varelse wrote:
DevilKisses wrote:
I'm just wondering how much you guys care about people's gender. I don't usually care unless it's a gender specific conversation. I like how easy it is to hide gender on the internet. Unfortunately some people have no clue how to interact with people without knowing their gender.


I'd like to recommend Cordelia Fine's book, "Delusions of Gender: The Real Science Behind Sex Differences", if you're interested in an alternate view from the standard "biology is destiny" trope that is generally up for offer on the internets. Not strictly on topic, but it is one reason I care even less about gender now than I previously did (which wasn't much).


Definitely worth a read. From her book:

"Imagine... that we could tell at birth whether a child was left-handed or right-handed. By convention, the parents of left-handed babies dress them in pink clothes, wrap them in pink blankets, and decorate their rooms with pink hues. The left-handed baby's bottle, bibs, and pacifiers -- and later, cups, plates, and utensils, lunch box, and backpack -- are often pink or purple with motifs such as butterflies, flowers, and fairies... Right-handed babies, by contrast, are never dressed in pink; nor do they ever have pink accessories or toys. Although blue is a popular color for right-handed babies, as they get older any color, excluding pink or purple, is acceptable. Clothing and other items for right-handed babies and children commonly portray vehicles, sporting equipment, and space rockets... they also distinguish them verbally. "Come on, left-handers!" cries the mother of two left-handed children in the park... at playgroup, children overheard comments like, "Left-handers love drawing, don't they," and "Are you hoping for a right-hander this time?" At preschool, the teacher greets them with a cheery, "Good morning, left-handers and right-handers.
[...]
...in such a society, even very young children would soon learn that there are two categories of people -- right-handers and left-handers -- and would quickly become proficient in using markers like clothing and hairstyle to distinguish between the two kinds of children and adults. But also, it seems more than likely that children would also come to think that there must be something fundamentally important about whether one is a right-hander or a left-hander, since so much fuss and emphasis is put on the distinction."

My only caveat is to not get so wrapped up in how screwed up our learned/taught gender roles are that we also erase the actual sex-dimorphic (on a spectrum) differences that are hardwired by the time birth takes place, but don't necessarily have to match birth sex assignment. We are a mix of nature and nurture; ideally as a society we should embrace and celebrate every combination of the former and strive to ensure full equality in the latter.


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LittleMidnightSnack
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30 Nov 2015, 2:35 am

I don't care about my gender too much unless it's a gender specific conversation like most people have already said, especially when its either critically analyzing how gender is perceived in society (I love having these types of conversations) or exploring other gender identities besides male and female. But personally, I prefer to base my identity around my interests, my hobbies, my thoughts and opinions, etc. instead of what specific body parts I was born with or what binary gender roles I have to live up to. :)


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Varelse
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30 Nov 2015, 1:45 pm

Edenthiel wrote:
My only caveat is to not get so wrapped up in how screwed up our learned/taught gender roles are that we also erase the actual sex-dimorphic (on a spectrum) differences that are hardwired by the time birth takes place, but don't necessarily have to match birth sex assignment. We are a mix of nature and nurture; ideally as a society we should embrace and celebrate every combination of the former and strive to ensure full equality in the latter.


I totally and wholeheartedly agree.



kazanscube
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30 Nov 2015, 6:05 pm

It makes no difference to me as long as both parties involved are able to understand one another, as that is what counts.


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CockneyRebel
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01 Dec 2015, 10:50 am

When I'm working at the bank, I don't see two separate genders walking through the door. I see a multitude of different personalities walking through the door. I concentrate on personality instead of gender.


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kazanscube
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01 Dec 2015, 10:54 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
When I'm working at the bank, I don't see two separate genders walking through the door. I see a multitude of different personalities walking through the door. I concentrate on personality instead of gender.



That makes great sense CockneyRebel oh, and I like Mick and is favorite peas image. :wtg:


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Deinonychus
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01 Dec 2015, 12:06 pm

I really don't care about gender when I talk to people. After all, it's one of those things that we can't change or control, and to be honest it'd be rather silly to worry about it or let it bother you. It's like talking to people

Sometimes it might be a bit awkward, say, talking about gender-specific health issues when the opposite gender is around, but I don't really care about genders otherwise.


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Joe90
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01 Dec 2015, 12:25 pm

It's best to know people's gender online, otherwise you might mistake a woman for a man or a man for a woman. Like say if a woman was a lesbian and was asking for advice on how to attract girls, other posters might think she's a man, even if she's a feminine lesbian. So you've got to keep on adding to your posts what your gender and sexuality is before people can answer properly.

I remember I used to go on this Autism forum, where you don't have to register or have a username, it was all completely anonymous. And I had wrote about girls staring at me and expressed that it upset me, and then in a reply it said something like ''maybe they fancy you or want to have sex with you''. Obviously I got mistaken for a man for some reason but didn't think to put that I am a (straight) female myself, so I had to put that I am a girl, not a guy. The poster said sorry.


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DevilKisses
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01 Dec 2015, 12:59 pm

Joe90 wrote:
It's best to know people's gender online, otherwise you might mistake a woman for a man or a man for a woman. Like say if a woman was a lesbian and was asking for advice on how to attract girls, other posters might think she's a man, even if she's a feminine lesbian. So you've got to keep on adding to your posts what your gender and sexuality is before people can answer properly.

I remember I used to go on this Autism forum, where you don't have to register or have a username, it was all completely anonymous. And I had wrote about girls staring at me and expressed that it upset me, and then in a reply it said something like ''maybe they fancy you or want to have sex with you''. Obviously I got mistaken for a man for some reason but didn't think to put that I am a (straight) female myself, so I had to put that I am a girl, not a guy. The poster said sorry.

Sometimes I like to get other perspectives when I'm asking about attracting girls. When I mention my gender I notice that people focus on my gender and sexuality way more than they focus on my personality or attracting girls. When people think I'm a man they focus more on my personality.

For the second thing I'll probably mention my gender. I've had girls stare at me before, but I'm pretty sure they didn't like me that way. In that case having the other perspective doesn't help as much.


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