Poll: Are those that are unaware more successful?

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I consider myself "less successful" but I can drive, hold a job, take care of myself, etc.

NOT KNOWING about AS is why I kept making the same mistakes over and over and over.

Knowing about AS empowered me to better manage my issues.

So, I feel that if I knew about AS back when I was 17, I could have done much to have a better life than I now have.

Would knowing about AS back when I was 17 make me "slack" rather than try to be more than my disability? I don't know.

Knowledge can be a tricky thing. There are those who do great things because they never had someone tell them how it's impossible to reach their goals.

Well, let's see, degree from a fancy university in a field that a lot of people are overly-impressed by. Was employed (though not on a professional level) for ~15 years. So, must've been a pretty normal life, right?

No friends or relationships during any of it, save one friend for a few years (sometimes wish that hadn't happened, though). Was barely able to even speak to people until nearly 30 y.o.

My first two jobs, which I had for about 8 years, combined, I had no co-workers and would be told what to do in the morning and then be left alone for the rest of they day. When I ended up in more normal work environments it was a nightmare. Being able to do the work was/is the least important factor in maintaining employment.

Ended up disabled for severe burnout combined with a physical condition. Not sure if I'd be alive if there was no break in how things were.

So, do I win a medal, now? Have I suffered enough in the eyes of those who've never had to have a job before?

I did try, and I was successful for the most part until I crashed into burnout. The things that I wouldn't have take on were things like a wife and 2 kids, a house, a career with a company that requires lots of human interaction with coworkers in order to get assignments, and continuing my college education.

If I had known I had limitations, I may have gone with rental property so that I didn't have to worry about house maintenance. One kid instead of 2. Not attempt to continue my education. Worked for a smaller company. Not beat myself up over my inability to connect and network with people. Who knows what limits I would have placed on myself.

My point is that if I had known, I would have been have been more I wouldn't have pushed myself to the point of burnout, and I would probably more functional than I am today.

Not trying to be intrusive, but you mentioned your "burnout." Were you told this was caused by your attempting to achieve too much, or even actual achievements? I've had burnouts but they are a passing pain in the you know what, but not crushing life changing events (although not knowing about my AS until I was 69 would make me question my sanity after an occurrence. Very scary.).

But knowing about my AS when my kids were younger (now in their late 40s) would have made their life easier I feel.

I agree. The social environment and society is not designed for autistic thinking and functioning. I've only really been aware of the autistic spectrum for the last 8 years or so, even though I felt different and have been treated as an outsider all my life.

But I also have a number of strong allergies. Very early on learned that I can significantly improve wellbeing by radically adapting my living environment, and finding effective ways of avoiding specific allergens.

Intuitively I've applied the same lesson in the social context, and never attempted to please everyone and to establish connections with large groups of people. As far as possible, I avoid overly stressful social situations in the same way as I avoid allergens, and I only establish and maintain relationships with people with shared interests, who I have incrementally come to trust.

Hence, even many years before knowing about autistic burnout, I adopted the following approach:
- Found a partner who is similarly wired and introverted, so that social stress at home is minimised
- Quit my job as an employee and started my own business, focusing squarely on my strengths and interests; in hindsight I realised that autistic perseverance is one of my key strengths
- Don't beat myself up about areas in which I am weak, and instead appreciate the talents of others in these areas, slowly, over many years I've established corresponding relationships, and constructed mutually beneficial collaborations
- Work via the internet from home as much as possible, to minimise social stress; this means that I have the energy to perform well on the few occasions that I have to immerse myself in a heavily neurotypical social context
- Never neglected my interest in water sports, and making sure I get regular exercise out on the water on a weekly basis; this allows me to refuel my mental and emotional batteries

I now see similar struggles in the social and emotional domains with my son. He excels academically, but is completely drained when he gets back from school. The teachers think he is too quiet, and should be more active in class. Little do they know how much energy it costs simply to endure the social context at school every day. My son is a diagnosed Aspie, but we've never tried to change him or drag him to any kind of therapy to "appear more normal".

It is really helpful to understand that society is not constructed for autistic needs and limitations. It is not helpful at all to push autistics to comply with "normal" standards and expectations. I think most already try as hard as they can. I know my son is, even though we've never pushed him to fit in. On the contrary, if in doubt I encourage him to stay home for a day to reenergise. It really helps that I'm home as well

Diagnosis is great in terms of awareness/confirmation that the neurotypical world indeed does not work according to autistic inclinations/preferences.

Diagnosis has the potential to be really detrimental if it is linked to commentary, "professional" advice, and parental expectations that push an individual to behave "normal" for longer and longer periods of time.

Like holding your breath is essential for free diving, putting on a normal mask for (very) short periods of time can get you through the day, but it's a potentially deadly strategy when pushing the limits.

I found about AS Late in life. I was social handicapped in HS and college and had problems getting dates, forming relationships. So I really did not know what I was up against but it was critical in being able to emulate confidence and experience in dating which I lacked. From research I knew women are repulsed by lack of confidence, lack of friends, dating experience. Consequently I developed strategy fill in any gaps w appropriate stories.

However I did succeed in marrying a trophy wife shortly after graduation and doing well as MBA Financual Manager.

We're I dating now I would be sugar dater vs traditional dating. My needs in a relationship are more sexual, eye candy in nature than emotional.

I wasn't told that I was "burnt out" or given any explanation for it. The doctors couldn't figure me out and kept giving me medication that didn't work and gave me nasty, nasty headaches. In the end, I gave up on the doctors.

I am undiagnosed, but was tested for autism in the 60's. I was told by parents, aunts and uncles as a child that my sensory problems were just me wining to wine about something and to toughen up. My sensory and communication problems kicked my rear end later in life due to taking on way to much in life. I couldn't tolerate light, loud sounds, lots of motion around me, walked into corners because I couldn't tell how fast I was turning while walking, and lots and lots of falling due to my balance going kaput. There was more but you get the idea.

Plain and simple, I couldn't function. I quit work, and handed most of the house hold family responsibilities to my wife.

It was a few years after all this that I was researching my social and communication problems and discovered Asperger's. Once I started treating myself as autistic, and started dealing with things differently to prevent overload I started getting better. I do feel that I damaged myself because I was unaware of my autism and kept myself in an overload state for years. Now whenever I start to get overloaded, all my sensory sensitivities return and my balance fades fast usually leading to more falling, not to mention other autistic characteristics.

I haven't heard of Aspergers or autism till my mom told me she thought I had it after I had graduated high-school. I was never diagnosed & I've been very unsuccessful with life but I have other mental & some physical things limiting me besides Aspergers. I think I would of been more successful if my autism & other issues were diagnosed so I could of received better accommodations with school & support with life.