Where can I ask questions about autism

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It might be a trust issue for him at this point. If so, he might think you are criticizing him when you are just trying to help him express himself. It isn't your fault. Trust is a big issue among autists.

This is what I meant by seeing past the autism, which sounds like you are beginning to do. You will find out that aside from his autism he is just an ordinary person for the most part. None of this is easy.



That is perfectly understandable. If we met in real life, I would seem like a different person until you got to know me better.



Please don't be sorry, these questions are great, keep them coming. It can be really hard for someone autistic to go into a new environment with strangers. People with autism have trouble adjusting to new situations. It's normal for him to want to keep things to self.

We had a great time riding horse it was a blast but more question

Awesome

Keep asking questions. this is a cool thread

OK he won't talk and look at me at the same time and if I look him in the eyes he looks down I get why but can that change in time it's a hard thing not to do when I talk I all ways look whom ever I'm talking to in the eye

Well, yeah. That's a biggie among autists. We don't like eye contact especially when we are nervous for other reasons, like meeting new people.

There is a famous autism quote: "I can understand you, or I can pretend to understand you. Which would you prefer?" For me, making eye contact as well as understanding your part of the conversation only confuses me. It is better to focus on the conversation and forget about the eye contact. For some autists, being forced to make eye contact actually causes a lot of stress. Over time, he might trust you enough to make some extra eye contact with you.

A lot of things can change in time.
But personally eye contact is very uncomfortable for me. Even with with my cousin and we are practically like twins.

I've learned a lot from here it's helped to know what to expect

It takes a while to gain my trust.
I have a really great friend that I game online and pen-pal with.
But I was leery of him at first.
And I have taken stuff he has said the wrong way.
And he even inadvertently triggered me to have a meltdown once.
And he felt horrible about it and thought he was a terrible person and terrible friend because of it.
Being friends with someone with autism can be a rocky road.
But things smoothed out and it has been easy going for a long time now.
We have been friends for about two years so far.

If you said that as a joke, then your wife would be wrong to assume that non autistic would not consider consider colour. You were playing with language, non autistic people do this too.

I'm kinda confused I read a new post and it talks about being new to a school people say don't tell your artistic.But if I would have know about my friend I would have handle are first meeting so different maybe it's just a NT's point of view but why not be honest about it

I agree. But, it is up to autists to choose who they wish to know about their autism. However, the more you learn about autism's characteristics, the more likely you will be able to recognize the characteristics of others quietly. Of course, this isn't completely fool-proof, but it is pretty accurate.

I just know everyone tried to keep his autism a secret so we thought he was a jerk and weird the way he came up and set with us and doing what he did, after it was explain we realized we were the jerks and it didn't have to be that way and I know each person is differnt

Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to learn enough to avoid mistakes (a lifelong goal, I believe).

It can be embarrassing to have a disorder, especially if you can act normal and also the fact there is a stigma on autism still. I don't see people going around mentioning their diabetes or their ADD, etc. and has your friend mention his autism yet to you?

As mentioned eye contact is often uncomfortable for autistic people. Also a lot of us have problems with multitasking. In order to listen the typical way it requires both eye contact to "read" the other persons emotions and hearing the actual words. I often look down to concentrate on what the other person is saying rather then doing two things at once and where one of the things is uncomfortable for me.