Refrigerator Mom Theory

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That theory has now been rejected, as that's not something that can "cause" autism. But interestingly my talk-therapist, who was treating me in the early 90s before high functioning autism was entertained or learned about by therapists and psychologists, surmised that I was a lot of things that NOW describe the ASD level 1 was diagnosed with twenty years later, and she also also surmised that I "had not bonded properly with my mother as a baby and child." She didn't exactly say I'd had a refrigerator mother, but words to the effect that a bonding failure had happened. So basically twenty odd years ago when my therapist didn't even know to figure I (or anyone functioning) might be on the spectrum, she diagnosed what are actually spectrum issues (she just used the "Lost Child" label) and she also perceived a "bonding failure". Chicken and egg and all that but it's interesting.

I don't subscribe to the refrigerator mom thing as a cause but I just find it odd that that's almost what a therapist in 1993 DEscribed to me.

Reading Kanner's original paper there is a lot of evidence that in almost every case at least one parent shows a number of autistic traits as well as OCD, mostly but not solely the father, as well as above average intelligence up to being brilliant in their field of work.
Only one family is descibed that there is a "frosty atmosphere" by the brother of one patient.

Two things to note. During the Great Depression and World War II when Kanner was figuring out Autism was a seperate condition only the most well off and educated would be seeing a psych. Autism was not the only thing blamed on parents in the 50's, 60's, 70's, it was the Fruedian era, pretty much everything was blamed on parents, particularly mothers.

Yep! Our family was not "the most well off and educated" in '43 when I was born. So my difference set me apart. Parents didn't know what to do. I was just kept "out of the way." since I didn't make a lot of noise and people weren't threatened, which could have sent me off somewhere else to live.

But I think the Refrigerator Mom and Dad theory fits in just at this point. I believe I had AS originally but now I was being isolated because I was different. My poor Mother was a distracted/self centered personality and my Father was "Old Country distant" and never ever spoke to me, unless it was to discipline me.

The combination of no Mother or Father to speak to was amended by also not having friends to speak to...do you know what this means? It means that when other kids are sharing sports stories..you're not. It means when the other boys share stories of girls (and etc.) you do not. It meant when the other kids were learning to behave like an NT, you were not.

I BELIEVE THIS MEANS YOU HAVE NO WAY TO DEVELOP AN EFFECTIVE AND ACCURATE "THEORY OF MIND." At least this is what has happened to me. I expect a different approach and more attention might have made a difference in my life, certainly in my Theory of Mind..