Aspergers but good at reading people. Intense world theory

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Thanks for starting this thread, stalactite, it's turned into a very interesting discussion. What emerges from all the posts is that while people's individual experiences are different, there's a common theme - that most people with AS have a high level of empathy that enables them to intuit quite sharply what others are feeling and thinking, even though it sometimes takes a while to work out an appropriate response (if one is needed). And if we often feel that things that NTs say and do don't make sense, it's because they don't. So much of what governs their behaviour are artificial social constructs.

So much of what governs their behaviour are artificial social constructs.[/quote]

That is a beautiful definition of the way most people are. It can really throw you off unless you can see through the B.S.

Love your avatar!

I wish I had the OP's gift for "reading people". Most of the time, I have no clue what people feel so I end up assuming that everyone hates me, which isn't good for me psychologically.

I feel that AS gives us an "ability" to see the logical connections between events and activities in the world, separate from understanding interpersonal interactions. A lot of the time, it feels like I can easily predict how world events and local events will occur based on the evidence I see around me, which sometimes makes me feel a bit like Cassandra from the Greek myth of the Fall of Troy. It can be a little frustrating to be able to clearly see that a work strategy or political decision is not going to work, but then be helpless to stop it from happening.

Yeah often I feel like I'm good at reading people but in a more analytical way... I often don't know to respond to people in the moment and can become really clueless. I just freeze up, but I know I'm picking up on things. I sometimes wish I didn't have it because I know people think I'm acting strangely and are thinking badly of me, and that makes me anxious and makes me seem even more confused and clueless.But I don't think it's paranoia, because I'm usually right :/ and I know people can think well of me. I wish I didn't care. Then maybe I'd have more resources to respond. but it's like everything's too much - lights as well are a big problem for me, and just the general environment. I had a go at virtual reality, and those worlds actually seemed more real to me... I think it was because there was less there to pick up on, so I could see it all. Most of the time I just unconsciously block everything out because it's too much, and I don't see anything.

There is a difference between the way an aspie reads people and NTs read people.
Aspies pick up on a great deal of minor details and can't rank the importance of each minor detail and fit it into the larger social picture.
NTs get the larger social picture intuitively. NTs know the appropriate social response given the entire global social picture. What is rude behavior for an ordinary person is not rude behavior when it comes from your boss. What counts as disrespect is a function of how long you have been in a social group. And even those relationships are an aspie's way of looking at it (tho more global and usual). A NT just feels what is appropriate or not.

I guess that being able to read people has benefitted me. But more to the spirit of your post, I see many places where I've become defensive because people have insulted me. The way I understand it is:
In a group of NTs, having aspergers is a negative.
It is acceptable to treat people low on the social ladder with disrespect.
I do not find it acceptable to be treated as a non equal.
I notice when I'm treated as a non equal.
It is not acceptable for someone low on the social ladder to disrespect someone high on the social ladder.
If I reciprocate the disrespect I'm out of the group.

Here is the kicker:
Let's say I'm disrepected by someone.
There are ways to respond in kind and have it be socially acceptable (look at a political debate).
If you can master that instant back and forth and keep it up over a long period of time.
You move up the social ladder. People respect those that are able to banter in a socially acceptable way.
I am not able to do it. I used to be able to do a back and forth for like 3-4 responses.
But it is a constant expectation that you can do it all the time.