How Many Friends Do You Have

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Other reasons why I ain't got no precious lil "friends":

They accuse me of doing things that I did not do. Sometimes it is
Not possible or practical to prove that I did not do it. However even when I do show, to their satisfaction, that I did not do it, they do not even apologize, much less make reparations. It's like - okay, you did not do that....... Onto the next wrongful accusation

For example, I asked a former precious lil "friends" boyfriend if I could eat the noodles. He said yes. So I ate them

She had the nerve to act like I stole the noodles. She did not believe or care that I asked. Even though I told her. What was I supposed to do, take a videotape


And when I do something wrong or bad they act like that justifies the full amount of anger. And they act like they have never done anything wrong before in their precious lil lives

Big ego

Arrogant

Self righteous

Condescending

Numerous Facebook friends.

Outside of the digital realm I've just a handful. Then again, I've never really been that concerned about the quantity of friends so much as the quality. People that, despite my 'eccentricities', still like me.

They are people I've known for 30+ years. I've made about 1 or more 2 friends since then.

I've many acquaintances, but that happens in a small town and when you're involved in the little league teams for various sports. I coach because there are only a few who step up and I'd hate to see the children suffer because of that. I don't think anyone knows of the Autism which probably just gets me labelled as aloof, disinterested or anti-social. So be it.

Look at me babble. I should go to bed.

Quite a lot

Especially since I went to uni.

We may need to have a more precise definition of what a friend is. I have co-workers that I talk to often so I can simply maintain the status quo in a workplace situation but they know absolutely nothing about me personally because I have chosen to erect a normal social shield around me. This shield is extremely difficult to maintain and causes a great deal of stress, aggression and anxiety but it is necessary in order for me to keep my job, avoid being bullied, keep the boss' faith in me and to convince myself that I'm not a freak.

But I'm at the point now where I can't maintain that shield for very much longer as I may give myself another heart attack.

So as far as a real friend goes as defined as someone that I can spill my guts to then I have nobody that I can do that with. I would prefer not to have a human friend anyways as social situations give me overwhelming anxiety. I would simply prefer to have an Autism support dog which I'm looking into.

By most definitions I have seen here I have no friends.
Due to my fifteen years in a grocery store I have developed minimal socializing ability, what I like to call 'bolt-ons'.
I rubbed elbows with all kinds of interesting people. Many were homeless vets, criminals, crazies, foriegners, small/big business folk and a lot of post-dated hippies and college students of every kind. There were many retired people, handicappers galore, and my fellow workers and our bosses. A VERY busy place to work, highly stressful, very physical labor.
I was terrified for the first six months.
I got tired of that finally and decided to beard the lion in his den.
I started greeting people and helping them find things and eventually became the go-to guy who could get stray dogs out of the store and solve a multitude of other strange problems.
I learned to care about all of these people.
They drew me outside of myself.
I didn't make a single two-way friend out of this intense period of my life.
i'm not sorry either. Now when I get lonely I go somewhere public and talk to strangers.
I have a rich social life for an Aspie.

the problem is that when you meet someone, you do not know how they will respond when they are angry. you do not know how they will respond in any other situation. sooner or later a situation will come up. and they will respond in a way they think is justified. but you disagree. autistics are drastically different from NTs.

and by that time, you will already have formed an emotional attachment.

That's so important for anybody to do. It's only human kindness and respect.



That jumped out at me because I do the exact same thing myself, although finding a stranger who will be nice to me is also a challenge. Generally I find that strangers treat me far better than those people who are in any way familiar with me. They are less biased by previous impressions and at least at first treat me like any other person. Of course there are always those whose only interest is in themselves and those people generally show it as they treat everybody equally as rotten. It’s that old lion posturing and roaring trait to exert an animal’s dominance.

Every Sunday afternoon (not today due to the storm) I go to a nearby college campus (same place where I went to school years ago) and walk across campus and back, primarily for exercise. It is a mile and a quarter walk round trip and I try to walk as fast as my short legs will carry me. It would be such a waste with all those people around if I were not to try to interact briefly with those who might be outgoing enough so I am always looking for those people who show signs of being open to such human interaction. With so many kids there is always some degree of age bias involved but perhaps once every 4 or 5 walks, somebody will show me a sudden smile or exchange a word or two with me, which is always the highlight of my week. Some days it is a total loss when everybody is defensively hiding from each other behind their cellphones or snaps the cellphone to their face the instant that anybody approaches. On those days I just try to walk quickly and ignore everybody. I will almost always get caught by surprise when somebody does speak to me though because I become too accustomed to not expecting it.

I find that Fall is the best time for such events before everybody is paired up with friends for the year making them less open to be friendly to strangers. Malls are poor substitutes for the same reason because people are almost always paired up, talking and won’t even look at other people. There have been exceptions though like one time ten years ago when two skaters and their girl tried to pick me up at a nearby mall where I went to get Japanese fast food... way too much food for my diabetes. They even followed me outside as I left and stood there watching me as I drove away. They were too young though so I followed my better judgment and kept on going.

Sometimes I encounter strange cases too. Two weeks ago I came across an unusual guy approaching me along a narrow passageway. He had no cellphone but his head was hanging very low for quite some distance as if he were trying very hard to avoid making eye contact. Immediately the thought came to mind that he just might be an Aspie. I became curious and since I had my camera in my pocket I slipped it out, aimed it backwards by my side after we passed each other and took continuous pics to see how his reactions changed once he had passed. When I got home I saw that the first pic was blurry but showed that his head was still hanging. The next three pics all showed him with his head fully upright.

Starting any kind of real conversation with anybody is next to impossible though. The last such event I remember was several years ago when on two separate occasions I came across the same group of five evangelical types trying to peddle their views to anybody they encountered. There were four tiny Asian girls and one small but somewhat chubby Asian guy who could only recite Biblical quotes in a sing-songy manner and showed no real understanding of the meaning behind it. Their main goal seemed to be to argue for the plight of repressed people in two different foreign countries. I still have the cards they gave me but can’t remember the names of the countries involved at the moment without locating those cards… maybe tomorrow. The tiny girl who seemed to be their leader was very spunky and outgoing and we had a long chat. I told them I was an Aspie and that they could not possibly alter my views as a result then I told them a bit about autism. Then we got into a religious discussion and I went into a long monologue about my own views, which got their attention as they really began to listen. Then an amazing thing happened. All of the other kids passing by suddenly put away their cellphones and began listening to me as if I were a wise old teacher from whom they could learn something of importance. That made me feel really good and I would gladly chat with that group of people again anytime I saw them. That tiny girl who was their leader really did earn my respect that day. They have certainly graduated by now though. Those event are so rare though.

One and he's in jail...it was two friends the other one was homeless and he died trying to hop a train from Colorado to California. So yeah kind of depressing one friend is dead so he'll never randomly show up in town again and the other I am not sure when I will see again. I kind of want to make new friends but not sure how. So yeah not many friends I get along well with my brother but we're siblings...I'd like to meet new people and create a circle of friends of my own. But yeah I am just really bad at initiating that kind of interaction.

Relationships are slow growers. A Full Blown Siamese Twin Experience With a Stranger is too much to ask for. You might be able to get that as a character in a rom-com but not in real life. Relationships grow so slowly you will likely need an unrelated outside interest to fill the waiting spaces. Take up welding, or help someone pour cement.

Zero, sir

Zero ma'am

Zero, gender non conforming humans



Around precious lil "friends" its just too hard to succumb to peer pressure

And an emotional rollercoaster

Like if they say something bad happened, and I do not react in a dramatic way, they say "you didn't seem to care" or something

Especially when it (allegedly) was me that did the bad thing

Even in the best situations, the friendship is one allegedly "disrespectful" or "rude" action or statement away from getting theatrically dumped on Facebook and getting gossiped about

Maybe Friendship are not worth the risk

When this gets brought up I don't count online friends I have never and will never meet but I have on of those. but In terms of people who I'd call friends not the fake facebook kinda friends. I don't really have many friends in general. In real life I am completely unable to make friends I can't tell if someone is trying to be my friend nor other stuff. The only way for me to make friends would be if someone came up to me and asked me to be friends which no one bothers to do because they could just go to someone who isn't disabled and do the same.

Although some of it is my fault that I ain't got no friends. In that I am sometimes too lazy and apathetic to talk. And sometimes I wanted too many favors.

In real life , face to face , I don't have any friendships that would be current . My family moved around quite a bit while I was growing up , and has tended to reside in some out of the way , back road areas . So I can relate a bit to this song . On Facebook however , I officially have over 90 friends , most of whom I don't interact with much though .

Those two countries were Tunisia the first time and Afghanistan the second time.

besides my boyfriend, none ...

Haven't been a Christian in years (most friends used to be through church), "too old" to hang around most people in college, my interests feel too niche for the area I live in right now, not "nerdy enough" to feel like I belong with other nerds (if that makes sense), no real interest in team sports...plus there's my irresistible urge to correct people, and strong opinions.

People will say "hi" and don't mind me briefly talking to them, but not for sustained periods of time.