Those who can hide there autism?

Post Reply New Topic

I admit I have the opposite problem on the phone. I do talk over people/interrupt sometimes and it's also hard for me to know when it's ok to talk and when not to on the phone.

One reason I talk over people on the phone is if they're asking me something and I have the answer for them. I'll generally listen for a short period of time giving them the opportunity to finish their question. That way I avoid interrupting them. However, oftentimes people will speak at length with their question and even in a circular fashion making their talk even longer. The person wants an answer; they don't want to just hear themselves speak. If they prattle on, I do interrupt and talk over them because I feel ultimately I'm helping both of us: I'm getting them their answer saving them time and energy in the process and I'm helping myself because I can stop the person from continuing on unnecessarily.

I practiced small talk with a group of retired men that regularly met for coffee. I learned to listen better, pause, slow down, wait my turn, ask questions, ask after family, remember names. As I got comfortable chit-chatting it helped on the phone too.

That is a great place to practice it well just about anything.I joined a group of older men and manly just sit and listen then it began to be my turn.Now sadly only 2 of us left and now this corona 19 crap and canceled my [dam] meetings.

I moved cities last year and never stayed in touch. They really helped me, no judging at all. Conversation had a good mix of topics and lots of laughs. I liked how they gave so much detail if you asked, plain speaking and little guesswork.

All my life I've been more comfortable with communicating with the elderly because, you're correct that they don't judge. I believe the reason is they have "nothing to prove". They're wise with years. They're great.

As many here have commented, masking/passing takes a lot of energy out of me.

Regarding learning difficulties: I am all but certain I have an auditory processing disorder, which would be a learning disability, were it ever diagnosed when I was in school. I later found out that a lot of coping strategies I used in school were suggestive of a APD. If I am left to my own devices to learn something, I really don't have any major obstacles. I did for a long time have a problem understanding "the point" of literature, and so I did very poorly in literature classes in school (actually, I was a poor student in all of the humanities courses), because I didn't understand it at a very fundamental level. But in my later years I've come to appreciate what it offers, even if I don't like to read fiction, and have developed a enough of a facility in analyzing fictional works to talk to people about them.

I have found the same. I found that until about ten to fifteen years ago when many died off, I had many elderly friends and hardly any friends of my own age that I could relate to. Somehow, the elderly did not mind what clothes one wore or the social position that one was in. They just wanted the friendship part.

The problem I find today is now I have passed my mid 40's, the new elderly tend to not exactly fit the same criteria, so I seem to have lost a generation of people that I can relate to. I still have one or two I can keep in touch with but hardly any, and I don't want to overdo my visits. Maybe once or twice a year. I find if I get friendly that in the past I have been under the impression that some may say "Oh no. Not him again!" Also somehow I find I can keep friends by distancing myself. Sometimes in life I can't cope with too many friends but I a really close friend who I can relax with is such a blessing!

Yes, I did. I needed speech therapy. I struggled learning to hold a pencil. I have struggled with symptoms of OCD and ADHD throughout life that made learning in a classroom something that took me a long time to figure out.

I can mask ok, but as with most autistics, the longer I have to mask the more difficult it gets. Luckily at work I just have to sit in front of my computer and look busy, and occasionally exchange a few polite words with my boss and coworkers, so it’s not usually that difficult to get through a work day, though it definitely takes a lot out of me. I acquired speech a year later than the norm and had significant motor/sensory difficulties in early childhood.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_mutism

At least not problem that I have. But nobody is able to listen carefully for the noises in environment and to speak at the same time. Anxiety may cause you to listen to the noises and voices around and you become unable to concentrate on what you have to speak about. Learn how to handle the situation, e.g. to show with your hands that you need a break just to concentrate on what you have to say. It helps in case you need it and reduces the anxiety. In the end you have to skip your anxiety to get over this.

I meant to say in my last post that I think I mask really well despite it all. It helps that I've always been very verbal and bold, despite everything. I think I read as a bit of a nerd, a little bit of a boring-story-teller. Most people I think don't suspect anything more than that.

I've always been able to mask and my dad would get on me for talking when little so as age progressed drew back some.People still can't find my autism traits.