Fake it till you make it and Positive Attitude

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1. I don't believe that somethings can be overcome.

2. I don't believe some ppl can function in society at all.

3. I don't believe that getting people to be optimistic or positive works for some people.

4. I believe that sometimes the best thing to do is fold your cards.

5. The Bureau of Labor Statistics backs me up.

1. I believe, sometimes, things can be overcome.

2. I believe the vast majority of people can function in society, even if they are on disability.

3. I don’t believe in false optimism....though I do believe many people are overly pessimistic.

4. I believe there are rare occasions where people should give up.

5. The figures from the Bureau of Labor Statistics sometimes are not relevant to individual situations.

True!



Being able to function in society means one can be independent. If one is dependent on disability then one is dependent on society for one's sustenance. If one is dependent on society for one's sustenance then one logically can't be independent. If they're not independent then then they can't function in society.



How do we suss out what is what Kraftie? What is the objective criteria to go by?



I do to. And to me, if it is something that is affecting how much money one has and if it is affecting one's mental or physical health.



Kraftie, how does that even make sense my friend? Let's say we have a jar of jelly beans. If all of the jelly beans are black then logically if one picks up one out of the jar one will pick up an individual black jelly bean. If the vast majority of jelly beans is black then more then likely I will pick up a black one and I may have a small chance that I would pick up a non-black one.

Now, applying this logic to disabilities and looking at the bureau of labor statistics how would it make sense to make a child try to succeed when he or she is most likely to fail especially when it concerns their livelyhood? Wouldn't it make more sense instead of putting a child into all kinds of therapies, self-esteem classes, special education etc, etc and spend all kinds of money on these things to face facts, take all that money that would be spent on these preceding things and put it into some kind of trust fund?

Sort of what he is saying? https://autismgadfly.blogspot.com/2009/ ... -help.html

If I went by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, I’d still be with my mother. I don’t base my life on statistics. If I did, I’d still be a virgin.

People are not jelly beans, nor is our economy based upon something so linear. It’s not as simple as that.

There really is few objective criteria to assess “pessimism.” But so what? People have to make use of subjective impressions sometimes.

People on disability frequently make contributions to society even though they are not “independent.” Most people don’t want to feel like they are leeches to society. And most on disability are not leeches.

If my kindergarten teacher was to be believed, I never would have learned English or done anything useful. As it turned out, I overcompensated on one side of the ledger, getting a Master's Degree in English, but never really applied my skills at a high level. I have attained a superficial level of functioning in my 50s and have a life I like now, but this could have happened for me at a much younger age if I had just applied myself a little more and had not become so entrenched in non-functional routines. I'm not sure now that I will ever make it all the way as an independent individual.

I'm not talking about losing one's virginity (even though that's a different can of worms altogether). I'm talking about survival and being able to support oneself.



I was using jelly beans as an analogy to make my point.



Well, I'm making my own impressions of the data that is out there, what I've read about employers and what they want, their attitudes especially those like Richard Bronson, and other's experiences on here and other forums and my own experiences as well and my conclusion from my impressions is that I dissent from the prevailing orthodoxy.



I never said they didn't. What I'm talking about is being able to hold a job/career and be independent as support oneself. And, looking at all of the data in addition to the bureau of labor stats the answer is a most resounding no for the most part. You sir, are an anomaly or an exception to the general rule. If I'm a parent of a special needs child would it logically make sense to bet on the idea to have faith and hope that my child will be independent when the very facts state it is highly unlikely they will be independent. What faith, hope, positivity and optimism has become in our society is a type of cultish type religion that all of us must follow no matter what the evidence says. What it demands is parents do a form of high stakes gambling with their child with a whole bunch of false hope. Thanks but no thanks! I am in the minority that dissents from this.

Re, the benefits of a "fake it til you make it" attitude, I'll say straight out that I'm a firm believer, and here's why...

I married a narcissist, you see. It was the best and worst thing I ever did.

The best thing because of what he taught me about faking it.
I saw him bluff his way into any job he wanted, jobs he was nowhere near qualified or capable to do. And then bluff his way through that job for six months, a year, two years, simply because he thought himself to be so much more capable than he was. I saw him come home at the end of the day puzzling over some technical problem, needing me to patiently explain it to him and do the calculations for him and tell him the solution, so that he could take it back and show them how wonderful he was. And I saw how he was raking in about twice my salary despite his poorer technical skills, and when eventually they worked it out and fired him, he would just go and bluff his way into another high-paying job.
And eventually I worked out that I'd been doing it all wrong. All that time I thought I'd been working off a realistic assessment of my own skills, I hadn't factored in how many NTs and narcissists are out there only pretending to be any good. That, despite outward appearances to the contrary, I was surrounded by incompetents. That I had to upgrade my assessment of my skills from a cautious "I might be able to do that, with a bit of training" to "If s/he can do that, I certainly can."

Because the fact is, while there are plenty of people out there who are genuinely faking it, and who will eventually be found out, we autists are not those people. We are the ones who will put our heart and soul into learning to do the jobs we are being asked to do, without making a big deal about it. We just need to stand up and say so.

But, please, just trust me on this.
Don't do what I did and marry a narcissist.