Being attractive really is hell...

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But that's just your opinion. And even if hollowmoon agreed with it too, it wouldn't make her current troubles any less valid.

I'm average myself (in my opinion anyway, probably ugly in some people's eyes), but I've been harassed before. Not often, but still have and got nightmares for a while from the most recent one that wasn't just verbal. If I was very attractive and it'd cause this to be a common occurence for me, I'd much rather get no attention at all from the opposite sex than get plenty of it. I'd rather feel safe and ugly than unsafe and pretty when I walk down the street.



As a child, I was tested to have intelligence slightly higher than average, yet I don't know how to do number 1 without neglecting my personal hygiene and such. Care to share? The second one is even more absurd; there are plenty of different women and different types of unwanted attention. It doesn't make a woman unintelligent if she starts to panic and can't think clearly when she's being harassed. Such situations can be very frightening, especially if one is alone or has previous bad experiences of it happening. Guess how I know.

Also, even if a woman wears revealing clothing, it's not an acceptable reason for sexual harrasment. Sure, if you see an attractive woman (or man when that's what you're in to), it's natural if your gaze lingers on them a bit longer than it usually does on strangers and that's not sexual harrasment, but if you down right stare at their chest or something, that is. Her shirt being revealing or tight doesn't make your sexual harrasment any more justified. If you take interest in a woman, go and talk to her like a civilized person. Don't stare/cat call/make sexual suggestions. If you think that their style of dressing is not appropriate at all for the place you're in and it really bothers you, contact an authority figure who can make the call if it's really too indecent or not. It's not your place to judge what others wear; for all you know, someone might think you dress indecently. For example, some people think that a man wearing shorts is not appropriate unless you're on the beach.

While I understand quite well hollowmoon's rant and predicament, and can identify with it somewhat (I could tell a story or two but I strive not to perseverate) as well. However, I cannot help but question her sincerity. If it was a severe as she lets on in her original post, I would think she would have monitored the responses and checked back in by now to dialog some. A red flag went up in my mind when the thread first began but I thought I would see how it goes.

Hollowmoon, are you still there???

Could be, but some of the responses here are a little mean and belittleling, so it could very well be that she decided not to bother because of that.

I think she is attractive and has a problem with others because of her lingual problems and her unawareness of other peoples emotions. All young and attractive women face lots of guys who want to be with them but who they don't like. This seems to be a problem to her sometimes but isn't the biggest one. I think that her real problem is that she wants some girl friends but NT women are overly into body language and dislike her being quite attractive for the guys and unaware of her problems with emotions and empathy and her big anxieties to talk to others. But becoming unattractive isn't a way out and doesn't helps for making more female friends.

I have anxiety so conflicts make me anxious so yeah, I wouldn't even bother defending myself. I have no mental energy for that. I used to spend my time online defending myself and it would always ruin my day and I would spend all day thinking about the incident that happened online. You can't control what other people think so it's not worth your time and energy to care what they think and defend yourself if it won't change anything. I am muting people on social media these days and on Reddit if I don't like their tone or disabling inbox replies. I save my sanity that way.

It's an interesting conundrum having problems for being too attractive. We haven't seen how Hollowmoon looks so can only take her at her word.

One distinction (speaking as an attractive male (at least when I was younger)) is that I experienced period of loneliness, something that an attractive girl probably doesn't suffer...

No, I disagree. There's a big difference between attention and companionship. Unwanted attention does not correlate necessarily with having friends. It CAN mean that everyone assumes the person has friends and no one checks they're genuinely ok.

I know this not by my own experience but others I know.

I agree. Unwanted attention and inappropriate comments of a sexual nature are quite different from a friendship that leads to companionship.

If the OP is talking about harassment and cat calling, that has nothing to do with being attractive. These men are just jerks and immature. I have gotten some unwanted attention by wearing a sports bra and short work out shorts showing my great body while going for a run . I just ignore them and it doesn't bother me. But this has never happened when I wear my regular clothes.

There is a difference between a man just talking to you and giving you harassment.

Yeah that's correct to some extent. However in our society men approach women to engage in conversation and the hope that it will lead to a relationship. From that perspective an attractive female will have lots of jerks making immature/ignorant comments but also plenty of males who want to be in the "friend zone".

Not surprisingly if you read the comments in this thread every female WP member who has described themselves as "attractive" is in a relationship.

For a male with Aspergers they can look like Brad Pitt but (like many here on WP) if they lack the capacity to to engage at a social level they face being alone because girls generally don't engage males in this way.

Am I the only one who finds this astonishingly rude, condescending and racist?

nope your not

People find different nationalities more attractrive theres no objective truth

True, but if you ask the man to leave you alone and he doesn't, then it's harrasment. And if the talk is sexual, it's sexual harrasment.

I sometimes play these mind games on how easy it would be to go to jail, not paying a bill, taking your eyes off the road for a split second, touching a girl's backside....

Yes, I've had that experience too. I know lots of people, but it's been difficult for me to make real friends.

Men are attracted to me, but they don't want to have a deeper relationship with me. And I'm not even that attractive... but I get "looks". even from someone who dumped me, which is irritating.