Thoughts on heartlessaspergers.com?

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Me too, I really like him. In fact I'm going to see him speak on Friday.

If I remember rightly the section he said this, he was talking about how many people unfairly think that kids with asperger's have tantrums to manipulate, but he said the only instances he's seen this in are when the parents are overly permissive and don't give the kids healthy boundaries. Perhaps you'd still take issue with the phrase, but I honestly think he's really just saying that in those cases it's not so much to do with the asperger's as the parenting dynamic (which could equally apply to NT kids).

I've heard him speak about this and he also links it to anxiety, and shows that manipulative behaviours can be a cry for help if someone hasn't learnt healthy ways of expressing thing.

So possibly not the best expression to use, but I don't think it's worth panning everything he has to say on the basis of that one phrase.

“Domestic Terrorist” is also used for NT kids who throw tantrums and “terrorize” the house.

Yes, that's what I mean. I think it's a comment on the behaviour, not a caricature of a neurotype.

Exactly.

And that is normal behavior for a child too. Any child, it doesn't matter on what type of brain they have rather it's an intellectual impairment or ADHD or if they have a learning disorder or even autism. Kids will have a tantrum.

And kids manipulate because their emotions are not that far developed yet for them to handle disappointment so they will cry and scream or anything to draw attention to get their needs met. Get told no, they cry because they are not that far developed yet to handle the disappointment. Things don't go the way they expect, tantrums because they haven't developed that far yet. Autistic children may do it more and do it at a later age too because we are more behind in our development.

An aspie friend of mine hasn't had a tantrum since he was four because he learned at a very young age that things ate not going to the way he expects it and change is part of life and he has to deal with it so he held it all in because he was afraid of the old man he calls his dad. But that could be why he ended up doing drugs and rebelling in his early twenties when he moved out of his parents. He doesn't do that stuff anymore of course.

I read most of the site, it is a bit extreme but brings up a couple of useful points.

-Aspie behaviour is seen as insulting/negligent by some or maybe even most nt's
It is not advisable for an aspie to try to marry an emotional person because of this.
I have aspie friends who don't ask how I am or empathise with me but I know they enjoy my company and do feel positively towards me.
I don't like being asked how I am cos its difficult to answer and don't like to say 'fine' because its a lie. This is why I don't ask nt's how they are..which insults them.

-lack of emotional warmth towards children can be bad for them.

Some NT women get traumatised/insulted at not being asked how their day was, whereas aspies just see it as boring smalltalk. This is quite a large incompatibility.

This is just another double standard innit? I mean, the whole (ironically) heartless site makes out that NTs are the victims while the autistics are the malignant dicks that need to be isolated from any relationship.
I mean, it seems OK for an NT man or woman to get sensitive if they aren't asked questions about their day by the Aspie, but if an Aspie gets sensitive about their NT partner not asking about their day, the Aspie is being accused of being too demanding, clingy or insensitive and that they need to give the NT some space.

This is why I hate being on the spectrum. It makes you feel that you are in the wrong all the time. This is why I don't tell people I have it. When I was in high school I got treated poorly on and off by my own friends, but whenever the school counsellor tried to sort out our problem, it was always my fault (even when it wasn't), because the counsellor knew I had AS and ADHD. Like one time when I needed some extra help with my math coursework I had agreed with my math teacher to come to his classroom on a Tuesday lunch-time so he could help me catch up with my math coursework. When my friends asked me where I was going, I told them, and they got all mad with me, accusing me of only going to the math classroom to flirt with the teacher and they preached me about it, even when I told them that I was going so he can help me with my work. But they still got all arseache with me and said, "all this fuss that you want to be friends with us, now you ditch us to go and make love to that old math teacher!" They weren't joking around either, they meant it, and called me names like "weird" and "slut", then stormed off and didn't talk to me for the rest of the week. But when I told the counsellor, somehow it was my fault. She said, "oh you shouldn't talk about boys and men to your friends". What? Talking about boys and men is what most teenage girls do. Also I was preached about a bunch of other stuff, like "don't confide in other friends about your problems, they won't wanna hear it".

Sigh.

Your friends could have been doing projection,where they were the ones who wanted to flirt with the math teacher ?

Its a shame that your councillor thought you were in the wrong in every social situation because you had aspergers.

NT's do plenty of abusive traumatic stuff too, they are portrayed as 100% innocent and not to blame for anything on that site.

I remember coming across that forum when I was like sixteen years old, I came here and posted about it because I was really upset I that those people could not distinguish the difference between ASD and ASPD. I even went onto their forum to try and reason with them, and explain the distinction between two, but their response was so overly emotional to the point where it was almost irrational.
I think that their case is example of how you can be so consumed with hurt that your perception becomes very distorted.

Is that seriously a quote from the site? "...to send you flowers, to send flirty or loving text messages every morning..."

Good Lord. I'm thankful beyond thankful that my wife isn't that needy, demanding or conditional with her love. Not all women like flowers you know. And to send "flirty or loving text messages every morning."? Really? I pity any man who is with such a woman if he, God forbid, misses a morning and doesn't follow her "explicit instructions". Is he then sent to his crate after having his nose rubbed into the carpet? Wow. That site just keeps getting better and better (sarc).

I've read the site a couple of years ago, it's hysterical (my armchair diagnosis)
I much prefer this book about an AS/NT couple who can't stand each other

I've read the site a couple of years ago, it's hysterical (my armchair diagnosis)
I much prefer this book about an AS/NT couple who can't stand each other

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Never-Love-Song-life-Aspies/dp/1105327817

Edit: I just looked at it and it seems that you can only read a few pages, what a pity, you could flick through it a couple of years ago.