When phone callers start with "How are you?"

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I've yet to meet an American who doesn't claim such things. I'm German, Irish, British, and Welsh. I've never been to any of those countries, but thats where my great grandparents are from.

Now I live in an area where most people are Hungarian. its amazing how much different that makes the local scene. Even food served in school cafeterias is different is now the dishes are based on Hungarian traditions. I never even heard of Haluski before I moved down here. here its rare to find a business/fundraiser/school that doesn't serve it

Oh righty. Sorry for being a village idiot.

I never understood this often asked question was even rhetorical until I read this post.

Whenever I would be asked that question buying groceries or on the phone, I'd always answer with 'fine'.

People see that as rude then? I don't understand why, but I'll finish reading this topic(only read the first few posts so far).

***edit***



That made me laugh. Don't know why, but it did.

Only just come across this thread. I don't like telephones, and make sure that I am not the one who does the answering, but if I get caught out, then my response is as follows:

"Hello, blah, blah, blah, how are you?"

"Hello such and such, I'm not doing very well right now. I started my day forgetting which cereal I am supposed to have today, so I couldn't have it in case I got it wrong. So I am hungry. It is still dark out, and some eejit passing me in their car didn't dip their lights, so I had to stop the car until my eyesight was restored. So I have a massive migraine. I had trouble with my work today, which led to me viciously attacking my machine, so I sent myself into a shutdown. So I am feeling slightly on edge. Then when I got home this evening, some pain in the arse from a company I no longer deal with rung me up asking how my day was, so I told them. So now I feel much better having had that release. Hello? Hello? Self-centered git."

I play games with them and say stuff such as "guess" until they get mad and hang up.

i usually say "good" i think that's what your supposed to say?

Yup, like the good old "I'm fine".

the thing is, it's not really rhetorical. The asker really expects a certain answer and they'll be disappointed/offended/confused if they don't hear it. I respond flatly, "fine". I had a boyfriend that responded with, "Tolerable". People would get really offended at that.

I had a hyper-NT friend that was crying and this guy walked past her, smiled and said, "hey, what's up?" in that way that he didn't really want to know. he was just saying hi. I know the guy and he was well-scripted due to mental health issues himself. But my friend was furious and she barely knew him. I guess she thought he should stop and ask, "what's wrong?"


When I ask, "how are you doing?" I really mean because I probably haven't seen or heard from you in a long while. It's never an empty question. I really do want to know what your news is. I have looked up weather reports for regions if I'm going to call someone there, so we have something to "chat" about.

Ridiculous.

I don't have this problem because I simply refuse to use any phones...

If it's an instant messenger conversation though...sometimes I still get asked "how are you?". Usually I will respond with the truth of how I am, which I guess people who I talk to online are used to it.
If it is someone who I am talking to for the first time online...I will refrain from saying the truth and just say the so called "socially acceptable" response and say "i'm ok" or "i'm fine" or "i'm good".
I never ask people how are they doing unless I really want to know, what is the point in asking someone a question if you don't want to hear the answer??
It makes no sense to me.

Usually, no one can reach me by phone...I unplug it...smart eh? On the off chance that it is plugged in, and some stranger selling aluminum siding happens to reach me, I stole this comedy routine from a female stand up comic I saw once on tv, which is sort of evil, but isn't trying to sell something to me, that I have no interest in buying also evil? BTW, I have a Minnie Mouse voice, and sound like I'm about 10 years old even though I am in my 40's, so this gag works really great! It goes like this:
Them: Hi, how are you today?
Me: (long sigh) fine I guess....
Them: can you put your mommy or daddy on the phone?
Me: I can't, mommy went out for cigerettes last night and hasn't come home yet, and daddy won't be home for 5 to 7 years, with good behavior....
Them:Uh, uh, uh, (sputter, cough,cough)I'm sorry, I'll call back later...
Me: don't bother, mommy says they are shutting off the phone this week....

Yeah I know, this is really bad, but I hate salesman, and it's funny to hear them sputter and try to get off the phone as quickly as they can!
Is it evil or just my warped sense of humor? I've been practicing this for years now......so far, no one has ever reported a child, home alone at this address, figures, huh?

That's hilarious.

My husband starts saying, "Bueno? Como, como?" Spanish phonespeak for "Hello? What?" in a really high-pitched voice.

(Note: I haven't read this thread, so if this has been brought up, I apologize.)

I think I have something that may be generally helpful since we're all Wrong Planeteers - a guide for foreign exchange students on communication customs in America..

Sorry, foreigners, I don't have anything like that for you. :)

I'm noticed that a lot of the questions people ask here, or misconceptions that come up, are actually pretty clearly explained in this. It makes sense that a general cultural handbook written for people from a completely different culture would be helpful for us. In specific relation to this thread, check this out:

It's a ritual. Nothing more - it's not designed to convey information. It sincerely and honestly has absolutely no meaning for most people outside of the recitation being familiar. It's something of a . shibboleth

Have americans said "how do you do?" anytime in the past 30 years or so?

I've heard it from a friend of mine. I think she may be using it in an ironic sense, though.