Something I have to wonder about...

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They aren't saying you are a failure at AS Just surprising that the doctor didn't bring out the list of the DSM criteria. Which, I must say, I too find odd, though it doesn't mean that some doctors wouldn't do it, of course. The first thing a few doctors have done with me is pull out the criteria and make a copy for me to take home and read over, while they compare me with the other.

Heck, my therapist pulled that list out faster than ever when I just barely mentioned it, lol. He covered each and every single thing on the list to see how I compare. He used it to look at and see what he sees in me, and to find out what of it I see in myself.

He also made it a point to say it's difficult for any therapist to accurately diagnose unless they have handled it many times before. I think this has to do mostly with the doctors not really knowing if this is how one has really been all of their life, or if it is just how they are presently. It takes a lot of observation apparently and can't really be done effectively on a whim, of course, lol, as it is hard to say whether someone is just in there on a bad day, or if their "bad day" seems to be an all the time occurance, lol. Of course background and all has to play in too, before being able to effectively and confidently diagnose apparently.

Which makes sense to me, but I don't see the harm in self-diagnosing really, since mostly what they have to look for is how things are for you... where do they get the information that they are looking for? From you, of course, which makes you just as qualified as an observer.

It's odd that so much faith is put into the medical profession. I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing, but I cannot count how many times I've gone into the ER in excruciating pain from chronic kidney infections just for them to tell me nothing was wrong, and wound up right back in to find out (from a DIFFERENT doctor) that there was something wrong.

Some docs are good, some are not. Some docs care, some lose interest over time. Some are very on the ball... but it never means that if you go to another doctor, you won't get a different opinion. What do you think about your diagnosis? Are you comfortable with it?

Not meaning to stir anything up, I'm just curious is all, as you seem rather uptight about anyone questioning your doctor's opinion. If that isn't the case, then I'm just reading it wrong and feel free to ignore the questions.

It doesn't really surprise me that you haven't actually ever heard the term "comorbid" in connection with anything from an actual doctor. Mine hadn't ever used the word until I said it. Up until then, he stuck with the obvious reference to it of "side effects" or "co-existing conditions". It just means the same thing. I assume that it is because the word itself is rather odd, and would be kind of confusing to those who have never heard the term before at all since not many people use it regularly.

Yes I am absolutely comfortable with it because what the doctor at the mental hospital told me was pretty much what I'd known about myself all along, I just didn't know that it had a name. It fit me to a T. Amazing!
Now my current doctor is also a good damn doctor. I've had enough of them to know. And he's convinced that it's AS also. He wrote to every one of the doctors I'd seen in the past to get their notes or records or whatever they had on me. He's quite thorough. Anyway, everything seems to be working and I listened to my therapist and I don't put myself in certain situations anymore. My wife is used to me going back and forth in my chair and twiddling my fingers and lining everything up on the table just so. She's wonderful, almost a saint. She says "Well I can see that you're having an Asperger's moment." And we can have a laugh about it, yeah.
The best thing I've learned is that it's okay to have been the way I've been all my life. It's nobody's fault. That's a liberating concept.

oh most definitely Your wife sounds great. Well, in that case, anything anyone else says is merely just their opinion

It's awesome that you have a good doc, btw, mine are very slow, and don't ever want to flat out say what I have, lol. Even with infections and junk, they still kind of dance around it sometimes.

Diagnosis, for some reason, is always a rather touchy subject. I think it is because for some of us, official diagnosis has been HARD to obtain... Once it happens, it's usually a fun round of docs who know about it confirming, and docs who know very little denying it, lol. I can't say that is the reason for sure, of course, as I don't know everyone's case. But that is why I am touchy at times about it. It's annoying to find something that explains you, then have someone question the validity.

In my case, for instance, I researched a lot about it right before starting back into college. I presented it to my therapist, and he agreed, but hasn't written it on paper, lol. I'm doing TERRIBLE in college, and the college has a lot of things that would likely help me, but I cannot benefit from these accommodations because it is not written on paper... regardless whether or not it has been agreed upon with the therapist. So now I get to start the process over again with the center for autism, where I'm going to be assessed officially, and then wait for them to speak to me directly... then wait for the assessment results before I can take them into college for any help. For now, I'm stuck with just explaining to professors individually myself, just so they are aware. That helps a lot personally (i.e. I had a teacher who would ask if everything was okay if I rocked for too long or did anything bizarre, just to see if I needed a break), but helps little to none academically, as they are unsure how to help as well. It's been a long process so far as it is, and I still cannot get him to write it on paper it seems... to have to start over is annoying in itself, to have to explain that I'm diagnosed but not diagnosed on paper is annoying, lol, and to have the validity questioned is annoying (to me).

So it's sort of like your annoyance with others questioning your doctor. All around, it is a pain. Since it's a diagnosis that presents itself individually, it's not unlikely that posts will be analyzed and questioned by others. But I do not think it is meant personally towards you or your doctor.

lol, and I'm probably just reiterating things you might have already been thinking, or you might be calling me "captain obvious" by now, lol. Either way, I realize it, but still feel the need to share my thoughts/example.

Yes exactly. I always try to get my points across in all seriousness, but I am constantly astounded when people either don't get it or they think I'm trying to be funny or something. What?
That's probably the one thing, the one thing that really gets to me, when it seems that I'm being laughed at.
I don't like being around people at all, to tell the truth. Seems like a complete waste of time.
I have a band. We play my jazz songs. I can handle that because it's my universe, you know, because the musicians have to be in MY universe. While we're playing the music it's great. But I never really know what to talk about with them after gigs or rehearsals. They're really good musicians, but I find them to be boring actually. Why bother?
I don't know anything about the stuff people care about. Nor do I want to. So the way I go about dealing with the communication problem is to avoid being anywhere that I would have to communicate anything at all, because when you come right down to it, people don't give a damn about communication, not really. They just want to talk about football, or American Idol.

lol, so true. I have been wondering for a while why we are supposed to change so much. Sure it gets us by in the world better to do so, but I don't really understand why we are supposed to change in ways that others cannot even explain to us. They say "when you meet someone, ask them 'how are you?'", and I'm left asking "but why?". They say it's polite, that it shows people you care, etc., and then there's "well, what if I don't care?" and "if they wanted to say how they are doing, why wouldn't they just tell me anyway?" Nobody ever has a good explanation for the things I'm supposed to do, or the things that I'm supposedly "lacking" in my communication. I also find it amusing that they try to teach us when it's "appropriate" to say/do certain things. But how can anyone dub what is and isn't appropriate when they cannot provide a clear explanation as to why it is considered appropriate? How the heck are you supposed to figure out when to say certain things if you don't even know why you are saying them?

To me it seems that communication in typical ways is self-defeating. Isn't communication supposed to be getting across what you want to say in an efficient manner? So when I say something, it's never taken literally, the way that it is intended. Someone always has to read into it and try to get some other meaning out of it. That isn't communication, not on the level I think of communication on. To me, communication should just be 2 people conversing, saying exactly what they mean, leaving no room for misinterpretation... but that isn't how it is.

Instead, because we don't leave out half of what we are saying, we are told we don't communicate properly, lol. It's a paradox to me really...

Sorry, thinking "out loud" so to speak, I guess.

Mine didn't tell me the DSM indicators. This was probably because I was the first to mention AS (but not the first to suggest that I might have it) so he presumed that I would know what the diagnostic criteria were.

I had the symptoms and tracked down AS as the psychological syndrome that fitted them closest. I didn't hear about AS and then decide that I wanted it or make my "quirks" fit it.

What I wanted was a reasonable explanation as to why I spent the first 20 years of my life in abject misery, because I didn't fit in and didn't understand myself or my symptoms.



First thing though is to get passed your GP, many of whom won't listen to you if you're older. That was my experience, the one time I tried to broach the subject. Despite the fact that in my youth it was not the thing to get diagnosed with "mental health problems", my GP didn't think someone of my age could have gone so far in life without being diagnosed. Catch 22 really - too old to have been diagnosed as a child and too old to have managed to have "slipped through the net".



I don't see what the risk is. There was more risk in me thinking I was insane, or weird, or whatever, with no rational explanation. Those were the days when I did get severely depressed with my lot in life, because I saw no answers to being me. I'm not saying I don't get depressed now, when I feel I've underachieved, but at least I can temper things with that knowledge, and adjust my life to account for it at least a little.



Doctors are just as human as the rest of us and many of them won't recognize things like AS. You were lucky to meet two doctors who considered all the options and didn't give you the brush-off straight away.

Like you with the official diagnosis, my self-diagnosis has gone a long way to explaining my life. I haven't just latched on to AS as some sort of security blanket, but I studied all sorts of different psychological "disorders" until I discovered that the diagnostic criteria for AS fitted my symptoms practically perfectly. Since finding Wrong Planet (long after my self diagnosis) I have seen many people exhibiting the same symptoms and outlook on life. I've done the on-line tests, again long after my personal diagnosis, and come out high on the Aspie scores.

I'm convinced and I think at the end of the day that's the most important thing. I'm comfortable with it and I'm happy I have an answer. In the long run, maybe it turns out it is something else, but I doubt I'll ever know, as I am not comfortable approaching a doctor again. WP is fine for me and was a revelation when I found it - prior to that I had felt so alone in the world and now I see there are many people who have the same challenges in life making me feel part of a community.

I took the test and it said it was very likely I had AS. I think all people have very bad times and they deal with them. But my bad times seem to fit into the AS spectrum. I am probably older than most people in this group but I seem to have managed my life reasonably well and used whatever capabilities I have had as best I could. But my symptoms are a dislike of large gatherings of people, no interest in sports, a strong preference to animals over people, a vivid visual imagination, a very good capability with English but poor capability in any other language (I live in Finland), a delight in being and working alone, very poor mathematic capability but fascination with mathematics and science. It seems to me that the world is now being controlled by thugs and idiots and the general public everywhere seems to me to have no idea as to the misery that is arriving over the horizon in the relatively near future when global warming really takes hold. I am not, in any way, suffering from AS if I have it as I have no desire to change into what most people consider normal.

i found out last yr (just before joining wp) because i work in a neuroscience lab and was at work on the weekend and was taking a break so i picked up some literature laying around out in the lounge area....

the random article i picked up was on autism and AS... giving lots of personal accounts (narratives)... and i just KNEW... suddenly the 24 yrs of random strings of strife suddenly had connection and meaning.

i don't need anyone to tell me why people never understand me (vice versa)... why i used to do all the "projects" i did as a kid instead of playing with others... how i could go from failing school to excelling in magnet school after having evaluations done... why i seem to have tantrums over the silliest things.. why i never seem to speak in turn during conversations... or i speak too loudly (mainly when im excited)... or in a non-sequitar fashion... why my jokes never seem to land...

after reading that article... all my teaching evals (taught lab sections for a teaching assistanship) made sense. after 6 terms of random comments coming from 60 kids per term of: has odd manner of explaining things, never smiles, never remembers my name, never looks at me when we are talking...

everything just came together. i came to wp and launched my own research campaign on AS... talked with a specialist a couple times just about my childhood and communication issues i was having currently at my lab with one person i worked side by side a lot... and she unofficially said that it sounded probable and that i should come in for testing... which i ddint an d dont have the means for...

but i told my advisor and a select other few professors i worked with about it.... and they said they were none too surprised!

am still ambivalent about getting a DX if im ever able to.

i always knew i'd never be happy on a predominant basis.... i guess ive just gotten used to my craziness

having now met calandale, alex & his gf, jerryhatake (sp?).... i can sense a coehesion... and at least some comfort

There are ways it can be dangerous. 80% of adults with Asperger's develop a secondary psychosis such as depression, bipolar, or schizophrenia, particularly if they already have ADD/ADHD. There are chemicals that trigger one that can also trigger another. When these types of problems crop up, you are in for a world of trouble with misdiagnosis, poor medication or therapy choices, etc.
You are lucky if you aren't "suffering". Daily life is horribly hard for me to cope with. That is what makes Asperger's and Autism so difficult to understand. You are at one point on a wide spectrum. There are MANY levels, not only one or two. Some are so high functioning, it is almost as if they are normal. Others are barely a step from an autism diagnosis.
As for not trusting doctors, I agree and I disagree. I do not trust psychiatrists as a whole. Most don't know what they are talking about. I also have issues trusting medical doctors because 2 of my children suffered badly from them not listening to me. Who would know my child better - a doctor that sees them a few times a year or the mother who lives with and raises them day in and day out? I got my children diagnoses and (inadvertently) got myself diagnosed. I made lists. I brought video. I brought pictures. I filled out tests and forms and got the opinions of teachers, family, and daycare providers (for the kids). I brought in everything that was going on, looked at the doctor and said, okay, this is what is happening. You've seen it for yourself. Now YOU tell me what it is called. When he gave me the diagnosis, I didn't immediately accept it. I did research to see if I agreed with him. I did. But you have to be your best advocate. You have to do your research, and you have to speak up if you feel they are mistaken.

Oh man...exactly right. You really put it very well there.

I have not yet been diagnosed, but I found out about the condition when I was talking to my high school counsellor. I didn't need to see him for anything, but he wanted to see me because he recognised autistic traits in me and was talking to some of the teachers about it. He introduced me to someone who was officially diagnosed, and it turned out we actually had quite a lot in common.