Funny literalisms

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somebody joke insulted me once.

but because he didn't do it sarcasticly or with overexzadration i thought it was a real insult.

Other people taking me literally is actually much funner. Once in French class we were talking about bears for some reason and I said, completely deadpan, 'I hear they have a big problem with bear attacks in France.' One girl said 'really?' and then everyone else laughed.

I always get mental images of literal meanings of words. On the cover of the most recent Cosmopolitan magazine there is a headline that says "Dragging Ass?" So I get a mental picture of a dog dragging it's ass across the floor.

Perhaps: "What do you think?"




This reminds me of a zen saying: "Speak!" but what do you say? what can you possibly say?

get a lot of that, but I treat it like jokes, so people think it's funny...

I get people on the difference between 'can' and 'may'...

What's up? - I used to reply 'Pork Bellies. But Copper is down'...

At any rate? - about 3 and a half percent (George Carlin's had a field day with that...

Our literal interpretations are funny! I am a scientist and pathetic, beyond pathetic, at being a receptionist. At previous lab the receptionist had a drastic family emergency and office needed a quick 'fill-in' for just 5 days. The Lab Pet to the rescue......oh no. Fortunately they liked me because I would otherwise be so fired. I really tried though. The administrator told me if 'Person X' were to call to tell him that he's not here and take a message since he didn't want to talk to him. I took this literally but didn't get the meaning. So...'Person X' called, asking for administrator. I said, "He's here but he told me to say he's not. He doesn't want to speak to you. May I take a message?" Bad Lab Pet. Bad Lab Pet. Bad Lab Pat.

I'm mostly non-verbal and have no place in an office. I'm stupid/bad at phone conversations. Then, in office, administrator asked me to make coffee - which I like to do. I actually asked him, in all seiousness, how many mL he would like since they had a massive metal coffee maker.

Strangers are scary. Mostly I knew who would be in the office but the first time 'new people' came in, I actually hid under the desk, hoping they would go away. And I am seriously bad at filing. Apparently this stuff is supposed to be alpha order.....there's various ways of ordering stuff so how was I supposed to know?

I'll never be a receptionist and those 5 days (from heck) were rough, and worse for administrator I'm sure (so sorry). I really did try.

Someone put in the lab and lock the door.

This one is the best so far.

today i found out that each session at school are called "periods" because my friend asked me how my first "period" was and im a guy so i said "im a guy, i dont have periods."

I'm not sure if this counts,

Me and my friend Martin were playing timesplitters future perfect (great game) on the xbox.

Martin: Damn, I died again.
Me: ...(not paying much attention, too busy playing)
Martin: Argh...the monkey keeps killing me.
Martin: ARGH!! ! THAT f*****g MONKEY!! !!
Me: Who's f*****g a monkey?

Don't feel so bad! I'm male ALSO, and they had a stupid joke that centered around guys saying something about their going to, or having, periods in school.

So your explanation of your misunderstanding may have blown their attempt to tease you!

This may he UK-centric as perhaps other countries don't have such confusing medical terms.

When aged 10 I was rushed to hospital with appendicitis. After a couple of days "under observation" (I didn't actually see them observing me, maybe they spy through a hole in the ceiling?), a nurse came in and said that "you're going to theatre this afternoon". I thought this was brilliant, that I'd be going to the theatre to see a play and even said as much to my parents when they visited. They had to explain to me that I was going to the "operating theatre" to be operated on...

I really don't think it's my problem, here in the UK the medical profession seems unable to call anything by what it is. For example, surgery is NOT done in the surgery. Surgery is done in a theatre. The surgery is where you go to see a doctor. Actually that's wrong. In the UK, don't ever go to see a doctor when you're ill. A doctor is a qualified expert in virtually any subject, such as Ancient Greek or Applied Thermodynamics. When ill you have to see a General Practicioner. Who has set up a Practice in a Surgery. Where they neither Practice nor do any Surgery

Jusy 'cos I have AS doesn't mean they're not deluded and crazy in their own way!

Actually, some operating rooms ARE theatres! Except YOU are one of the "actors", and not a spectator!

But YEAH! They make jokes here about driving on a parkway, and parking on a driveway!