How do you offend people?

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I annoy people because I sometimes do dumb things and can't seem to do simple things. What people don't realize is that I want to do things right. I don't do it on purpose.

Same here!! !! !! !

When I feel out of my element I look and act like a lost puppy when so much more is expected out of me. I get the look like or event he spoken question of "how old are you?"

I offend people by walking away from a conversation the moment someone says something I find to be lacking in common sense, or worse still showing extreme ignorance.

Excuse me while I leave the room.

Oops, forgot to mention, I don't answer the phone after 8 PM. This seems to offend people but I don't see why, its not like they know I know who it is.

In effect, you are being mean, despite your intentions.

Just my mere presence is enough. For me my body language and tonal inflections are out of sync with NT's. I've had NT's that I don't even know fly into a rage at me just by walking into a room.

I lack the filter NT's have before speaking and say things and the wrong place wrong time to the wrong people. I dont get clues as easily and keep talking when i hit a sensitive spot.

I just exist... that seems to annoy a lot of people...

i offend them because i do not have interest in them or their ideas much.
i do not learn how to act when things go wrong.

example:
at my nephews funeral (my sister is 15 years older than me and my nephew was 4 years younger than me) i had no idea how to conduct myself.

it was at a crematorium, and i was standing outside in the grounds with everyone for a while before the hearse came.

i noticed that there were many letterboxes around the place, but there was no residences which they could belong to.

i remarked on this to my brother in law (who was the father of the nephew) who was standing nearby.

he became concerned and said "just shut your mouth today hey mate?"

i said that i would.
then i still wanted to know what those letterboxes were all about so i approached my sister and asked where those letterboxes were attached to.

she said they were cremation plots and she bust into tears.

well i never... thought that they were cremation urn repositories, so i guess i was not in the wrong, but my sister and brother in law really became angry.

so i ignored them and it all settled down as there were more important issues at hand.

but the carpet pattern inside the chapel was incorrectly placed.
it had a seam in the middle of the aisle, and the pattern on the other side was not symmetrical to the side i was on due to the fact it had been laid back to front.

i realized that they cut 2 pieces from the same side of the material they chose, and because of that, the pattern could never be matched and be continuous across the seam.

but meanwhile, the preacher droned, and the step brother saw me wondering about the carpet.

he became more annoyed with me i think because he glared at me.

but it was his son's funeral so he should not be concerned with me.

i started to smirk because his cranky face was somewhat amusing.
i looked away but he got up and came over and asked me to get out of the chapel.

i did gladly.

i wanted to go outside anyway.

i offend people by just doing nothing at all it seems.

You bastard.

my post was only 2 mins before yours.

you are a hasty reader and thinker i imagine.

I'm good at that one. I'm also good at, rather than pointing it out by talking about it, doing the equivalent of sitting around staring at it, petting it, and asking it questions. Interacting directly with it, in other words, which makes it harder for people to ignore it, and sometimes they get more offended by that than by me talking about it. Because if I talk about it they can just disagree with it, but if I interact with it directly then they have to find some way of believing that I'm imagining things or something, or beginning to totally ignore me the same way they're ignoring the elephant. (Or as I put it once in one of those late-night mixed-metaphor things, the "emperor riding naked through the living room on an elephant while weaving a magical web that he believes he'll die if he stops to look up from it". The last bit being a Tennyson reference.)

I also offend people pretty much by existing and by for the most part refusing to pretend I'm anything other than who I am. Because who I am has a fair bit of guarantee of not neatly fitting into some box they've created, so they either try to shove me back into the first box they wanted to put me in, or else find some totally new box and try to shove me in that. Whatever it takes to make sure that their categories aren't disturbed by anyone or anything (since of course the maintenance of cognitive biases is more important than real people ).

And then I offend people by stating my point of view on a lot of things. Always at the wrong time, or in the wrong manner, or something.

And somehow... I don't know what it is, but something about the way I write, strikes some people as angry and hostile, no matter what mood I am in. And if I tell them I'm not in those moods, they try to tell me I'm wrong. Whereas other people, me included, are totally incapable of figuring out why other people attribute all these emotions to me that just are not there. But whatever it is, I seem to rub some people the wrong way, I can be totally happy and writing about something that if another person writes about it is non-controversial, and yet still get told how awful I'm being. And even other autistic people sometimes do this. And some people get extremely angry and hostile back at me, even though I was never that way towards them to begin with. I have tried many times to figure out what it is that people see as angry, hostile, negative, etc., about me, but I can't figure it out. And when I ask, they accuse me of having motivations and intentions I don't have, and that those non-existent motivations are the reason I appear angry and hostile. So apparently non-existent motivations lead to a presumption of non-existent emotions, and I'm back at square one trying to figure out what the heck is going on. (And yet if I write frankly about this, then they think I'm pretending to not notice. I really don't notice, I really have no clue, why some people think this of me. And a large number of other people have no clue either why, because they seem to see my writing as it is, not as some people read false emotions into it.)

It's at any rate really weird to be accused of emotions you don't have, and then accused (when you try to point this out) of motivations you don't have in pointing this out.

(I've written this, this, this, and this, all trying to figure out what on earth people were seeing that way in my writing. Still don't entirely know. And have heard many other people express their confusion as well.)

No, a bastard would be either:

1. Someone who, through not fault of their own, was born out of wedlock. (And who have the same range of personalities as anyone else.)

2. (More in the version you were using.) Someone who knew what the "letterboxes" were for and asked just to upset someone, knew that looking at the carpet would upset someone else, and knew that finding a facial configuration amusing would upset someone, was able to control all those things, and yet did them anyway, with the intent to upset people whose child had just died.

#1 is irrelevant to the discussion, and #2 is not at all what the person described doing. You can't at all blame someone for not knowing what something is and trying to find out what it is. Nor for thinking about a carpet. Nor can you blame someone for momentarily forgetting where they are and finding a person's face amusing out of context.

Additionally, smiling and laughing at funerals is pretty common, because contrary to popular belief, those are not just expressions of happiness, they can also be expressions of extreme fear, disgust or grief. People are always attempting to claim that if I smile out of horror then I must actually like the things I'm smiling and, and it's not true. I guess that's another way I offend people. (And some people seriously enjoy quoting me out of context to prove I "enjoy" things when I've explicitly stated in the context, that I am not smiling because of happiness at all. I guess that's another way I offend people, but it's only some cultures that believe smiling is reserved for good situations only. Human instinct is to smile at a lot of emotions other than happiness, but it is barely recognized in mainstream American culture. I do also smile when I'm happy, but I also smile when I'm completely terrified. I used to know a guy who was not neurotypical either and he smiled or laughed all the time when very very very upset by something, but people took it wrong and thought it meant he was happy and got disgusted with him. But he was not happy at all and it showed in what he was saying, some people use laughing or smiling the same way they use crying and the horrible thing if there is one, is to fault someone for that.)

I know that if I don't talk to people, I offend them, and that if I do talk to people, I offend them too.

When I have spoken to others, it's not like I say anything different than what I type, which is probably more telling than I realize, really.

Yes,,,,,,,,,,,I do the same thing.