Cruel "girl" tricks being played on my son at scho

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Well, fact is, the OP's son *will* have to learn to deal with things like these on his own.

I could understand the 'scold the girls for what they did' approach if all of the children in question were say, 6 or 7. But at the age of 17, now is not the time for Mommy to do all the talking. I guarantee, older teenagers won't listen to non-authoritative adults, especially if they're trying to guilt trip them. I can also guarantee that the OP's son will be bullied about ten times as much if she gets personally involved at this stage.

Sure, I was bullied a LOT in Middle School. But by High School I learned to stop responding to them, and they left me alone. By Grade 10 and 11 most of the a**hole kids actually started being civil to me. Was never FRIENDS with them, but I didn't mind their existance.

Thing is, in all of the years that I was being bullied in elementary through middle school, my parents NEVER got personally involved, even at the really early stages. They would just give me advice, but never personally make an appearance.

As a result, I learned to deal with it myself, and now I really don't care what happened in elementary, middle, OR high school. They were kids, and most kids are little a**holes. Most people get over it.

JWRed, how can you say you are 100% sure about anything when you don't even know how to understand one paragraph that I wrote.
I didn't say that I would write letters to them. I said that I would get my thoughts clear and rehearsed so I don't get emotional when I confront them. Go ahead get your last word in again, but I'm done with you and some day you will realize that you are wrong.

Bullies can be an increasing nuisance whether you ignore them or respond.
I started to get sneaky in the last half of senior year, to set up the bullies
in such a way they didn't see what was coming nor where from.

If I was your son maybe I'd change my hand writing and write on the boys rooms walls:

(MEAN EVIL GIRL) IS GOING TO THE PROM WITH (YOUR SON).

At nineteen (and I'm okay looking) I had never had a date or a kiss or anything inc conversation with a girl. Hadn't a clue what to do or say. Blushing and stuttering. thankfully a drink soon cures all that, got among people and met my future wife, all thirty years ago. I moved away from where I went to school - thats a good move! Well chucked out of the house which repeated itself. Dad dead, no-one wanted to know . The guiding hand of God provided my wife.

At school at fifteen, sixteen I was bullied and huliliated by girls. one in particular. I'd like to cause her so much pain and damage.

High school is hard for strange kids ...and nothing of this will change , it's a part of the human evolutionary behavior. Your son has to deal with it and get over it.

Okay JWRed this is the last post to you by me on this topic and FYI I had already made my mind up not to post to you again on this thread but after reading your last post I was just so astounded by you apathy toward kids I had to say something. I just cannot believe you call confronting kids, when they do something wrong, "emotional damage". I cannot believe you think that way! Ever hear of something called "civilized society"? Something that protects your existence by the very concept of confronting people when they do wrong.

YES YOU CONFRONT PEOPLE WHEN THEY DO WRONG!! !! !

OKay, what do you think is going to happen if you NEVER confront a child when they do something wrong? THey will do something wrong eventually if no one teaches them right from wrong and guess what happens? They learn the hard way, they do something illegal and they wind up in jail because people like you say

"Oh, it's emotionally damaging to actually be a parent and confront children when they are doing wrong".

[quote="grain-and-field"][/quote]
How do you know the girl wasn't intending to invade polland? The point is you can't make any assumptions, you either believe the account or you don't.

I had this sort of thing happen to me. Once they tried to do anonymously via text, but they didn't withhold their number. So dim wits need get 5 seconds of joy out of somebody else’s misery, what a sad bunch.

For all the best intentions... there are few times to intercede in such a manner as some are describing. Her behavior is reprehensible, and the attitude of her and that group. It would be better to help your son understand what happened, things to look for, and soon on, than to try and control the actions of others. If your son wishes to address the problem, then that would be appropriate... but despite the fact that you and he see the world differently, I still believe it is the individual's choice and ability to decide what to do. Do you really think it would be effective to speak on his behalf, furthering the sense of victimization? Sorry, this one doesn't make sense to me... instead, help the young man.


M.

This is the last post on this thread from me, I promise, so if I am annoying anyone I am only posting because I know so much about what it is like to be in this person's shoes. I know exactly what he is going through and I have been this sort of thing so often while in school, this and much worse.

I have read many of the posts in this thread and one thing I really think is a big mistake is when the parents will not get involved. No one got involved with me and it made things sooooo much worse for me. Getting involved is never ever a mistake. People think when their kids are teenagers it's time to back off and do nothing, just talk about what's going on at home. I can tell you one thing about me. My mother never even knew what was going on I never ever told her I was waaaaaay tooo scared to talk about anything with anyone. It was only when someone saw what was happening and told those in charge that the issue was confronted. I am sorry to say by then it was too late, the damage had already been done. So much damage. PLEASE do not listen to the ones who say back off, don't get involved. Listen to me I have been through it. The more involved you are the better. Just because it's high school doesn't mean that the parent is no longer needed.

I can talk to kids and teenagers on their level so I would doubt they would think I was being weird about it. There is nothing wrong with family members supporting one another. The best way for a child to learn is by example. The kid is 17 years old and an aspie which seems to me that he is probably less mature than the normal kids. If you explain this to them, they will get it. It's not a hard concept to grasp and it is a least worth a try to show them the correct way to behave.

I also wanted to add that when I was around that age there was a boy who liked me. He was different, maybe he had asperger's, but he definitely had something. Everyone thought it was funny that he liked me and they would tease me in good fun. One day, a group of my friends told him to go wait for me over by this platform and he did. They all thought it was hilarious because each would take turns walking past asking him if I came yet and so on. When I found out, I felt really bad but it was funny. I hate to admit that hanging around with popular people can be lots of fun because they are always playing pranks like that and not just on the socially ret*d, but on each other as well.

It's all fun when it's being done on the same playing level but this kid has issues that doesn't allow him to see it there way. When NT's joke like that with each other they get each other back and it's all part of the game. They went out of bounds with this kid.

He should try to laugh it off and get them back and if he was normal or older he might be able to do that. However he seems really hurt by this so it's out of his hands unfortunately. Sometimes NT's get carried away with this game and it turns into bullying and then the whole crowd mentality supports it. That is why I said single out the girl and watch how they all react when you make her feel like a heel. I know it's manipulative but it is just normal NT behavior.