Start-Up Challenges: Redefining the Spectrum Labels

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My statement Neuromans reply

I can't see how. doesn't everybody pay attention and critique themselves. when you are being someone your not and putting up an act don't you notice the effort to act and not be natural
don't you know yourself better than you know any other person.

I cannot see how someone can lie to themselves.

Well yeah, but if you keep the act up for long enough, and if you consider it highly shameful to have to act in the first place, but you don't see any other way to get by - then you can convince yourself that it's not an act, it can't be an act, it's who you actually are, because to realize otherwise would cause too much mental turmoil and you could no longer function properly.

This belongs in the brain twisters thread...I agree. that one can convince oneself that one is what one has been pretending to be. Reminds me of a twilight zone episode in which someone wore a mask that gave them some kind of advantage. At some point the person was unable to remove the mask.
This happened in a small way to me in grade school. People were offended by my extensive vocabulary and I learned to "dumb it down," but people didn't like me any better. I held on to the lesson and eventually wrote a children's story about a boy who used big words but eventually learned that people found it threatening. The story ends with a compromise - the other kids learn the meaning of some of the big words and the boy learns to speak their language. If only it were that simple....

Yes. If you tell yourself enough, you can start to believe it.

Hm.
I'm hiding post # 1000 in here because I am not sure why to celebrate it.

I have tried the affirmation thing which I think is like telling yourself something. It's never worked for me.

On the other hand, telling myself I am a good person has worked after many years. People throughout my life have attributed their difficulties with me to my "badness." It took a long time to figure out they were wrong - there were so many of them.

One key was no one could explain exactly what I had done that was bad. No one could tell me how to change my behavior. It was always, "Just be good." No one realized that they needed to explain what "good" was and resolve my questions. As a child I learned that adults made mistakes - it made it hard to hear the words "because I said so." The question in my mind was, "What if you're wrong?" Unfortunately sometimes I asked it aloud...

Another key was that when I looked at examples of good behavior, my life was full of them. So how could I have some fundamental badness?

And then I realized that the people who were telling me I was bad were lying to each other and cheating (and in one case, boasting about frying their brains with street drugs)! That was when I realized that they were wrong and in some cases, knew they were wrong and lied about me anyway.

I would like to tell myself that people are still fundamentally good, and that the state of society today is some kind of anomaly that will get better. But I don't believe that. I think we're headed into a chaos that won't resolve in my lifetime.

I'm thinking I would like a label that reflects my hope that I will achieve some ability to manage in a world with values so different from my own. Something I can repeat to myself to remind me that there are other folks in the world who think like me (not just on WP) and that there is a way for me to have what I need, make a contribution to society, and not be invisible anymore.

Once upon a time I legally changed my name to reflect this hope. Maybe I just need to wait a little longer for it to become a reality.

Or I could just change my name to Buddha, and become a salsa wielding, witty troll melter.

NeuromanWants to believe that;

in particular;



Several times you have made mention that i thought in similar fashion as yourself (i think but not as evolved as you, i think).
Less than 30 days ago i was not on WP. And there were others who i assume you feel similar to, that at one time were not on WP. As the life of WP continues there will be more. And, there will be some who never are fortunate enough to find this site.
There are others, there is goodness. The problem i believe is that it happens to be, once again, we are in a minority. Even on Wrong Planet.
I think it boils down to self interrest. Everybody acts according their perceived notion of what is best for them. Most do not realize the need to help others is the best way to achieving the greatest individual desires. I think because they have others (relationships, community, etc...))
Those of us LONER types realize the need to help each other up the ladder of success (societal standards, happier , more healthy communities, diversity acceptance, etc...) We desire this for the simple reason that we are alone, therefor lack human bonding.
Its ironic.
But we are right in our pursuit of a better community. And our desire for more people to be more like us.
Why,
Because if the basic human desire was purely selfish interrest without consideration for the need or needs for/of others then what could you really gain. Could someone be really happy all alone at the top of the ladder. No one to enjoy the fruits of your efforts. No other ambitions. nothing to look forward to, nothing to aspire to. its all yours

nanoo nanoo

Shaz-bot!

wiki waka wahoooooooot!

Reviving this thread because examples abound in my life now.
honesty has been held forth as an example.
i am realizing just how subjective honesty is. it is not about telling the truth, because the truth is relative.
i wonder what this means with respect to aspergers
if i am being honest and it does not represent someone else's reality, have i then lied? and what would it mean for my reality if i tell what i think is a lie, but, in fact, is their truth?
a book i am reading suggests that abusive people think they are doing the good and right thing. that makes my good and right thing, if in opposition to theirs, a bad and wrong thing. so whose impression is right? the one with the most power. morally, that seems wrong. but whose morals? if that person wrote the moral code, then my morals are bad.
with this power autism is designated a disease that must be cured.
is honesty just another disconnection? another way in which we lack empathy?

Dammit, my head is going to explode.

I know exactly what you are saying (the message between the lines) and it goes to the heart of exactly the anti of what i have come to believe.

My simple obsessive, complete, over the top excessive nature is the issue with me. I NEVER do anything with half a heart.

And all your advice, insight, or caution is driving me insane.

It is food for thought, it is worth considering. Maybe there is a common ground, to which the answers, at least for me, may become clear.

in this case there was nothing between the lines
i wonder if i am capable of subconscious posting
i was thinking of a game that i was playing and suddenly i did not know whether it was a game anymore. worse, i wasn't sure if even for me it was a game.

this made me wonder what the reality of the event was for everyone involved.
i became frightened because i knew that i would not be able to interpret the situation and i was afraid of having committed my usual sin of interpersonal assault without intent to harm.

can one be honest when playing a game? a game is a lie because it is not real. but if while playing the game reality becomes an aspect of the game, is it still a game?

i was thinking of a game i was playing at work that suddenly was not a game and my job was on the line. the game was to pretend to be NT. i was bad at it but i thought adequate. now i am reasonably sure that it was not adequate. in fact, it is very much not a game now, and i wonder if it ever was to the other people involved.

i was thinking that at work the person who is oppressing me thinks that by lying to obtain the desired result she is doing the right thing. if i lie to save a life, is that not good? is the lie bad? is the lie a lie if i believe it to be true

my life has gotten too confusing these days. i am not preaching at anyone but myself.