I was a young girl of 40 when I figured these ones:
'Just relax and be yourself' = insofar as Yourself happens to be what people like.
"I've been busy" = busy trying to get rid of you
"I may be busy the whole of next week" = start getting used to having no contact with me.
"Maybe some other time" = most likely NEVER
"You're too kind, I need someone meaner to keep me in check" = You're ugly and have a bad temper, so I'd better let you down easy.
"It's not you, it's me" = it's not me, it's YOUUUU
"We're like one big family in this company" = like any family, we're one very dysfunctional group stuck with each other without choice.
"I'll call you" = I won't call you.
"Let's keep in touch" = Let's NOT keep in touch (if I really wanted to keep in touch with you, I wouldn't need to suggest it. I'd just call you in a few days.)
"I'm kinda seeing someone" = I see him when he remembers to call and agrees to meet.
"She landed a wonderful husband" = she married an ugly idiot with money.
"He landed a wonderful wife" = she's tall and blonde.
"You took so many driving lessons? I only took 5!" = I took 5, then flunked, then took another 5, then flunked again, another 5, flunked, etc. etc.
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So-called white lies are like fake jewelry. Adorn yourself with them if you must, but expect to look cheap to a connoisseur.
