what happen to older aspies?

Post Reply New Topic

Then you are either born wealthy or you will have to work. For many older Aspies, the problems they have encountered at work are perhaps the most scarring of their life experiences. Every now and then someone comes on the board with yet another horrible tale of how they were fired despite putting in a good performance because their colleagues refused to accept them. After a few such terminations, poverty may not seem like such a bad trade-off.

you hit the nail on the head, that's how I feel

wait, I'm old and a member of the slap and tickle set...

I think the researchers have assumed that Asperger's was invented in 1944, instead of identified...

It depends on where you are on the spectrum. I'm AS enough that I've torpedoed any chance of advancing into management, but 'normal' enough to keep a job for the last 22 years (if I can make it through the next 3 months...'nuther story)

I didn't find out I was AS until about a year or 2 ago, so I'm actually relieved that there's an explanation for 'why I'm this way'.

You go on through life, learning to cope with situations, studying humans (albeit not the way they study you..., trying to fit in, maybe even getting married (yes), having kids (no), etc.

Strange thing about being old; you feel the same way you did when you were young, but your body won't go along with it...

i cannot remember the name,
the black methusalem blues singer, who said:

you aint old until your lips make dates your hips cant take


calendarAge?averAgeME!avaragely/toxic@RobertO.iii

You can also check out what us old aspies are up to in the Dino-Aspie Ex-Cafe.

I couldn't agree more. This is my experience. I used to not even conceive of a life without hard work and trying to earn as much as possible. However, as you say, the traumatic workplace experiences have broken me so much that poverty looks more appealing. I've long simplified my life and possessions as much as possible, to be able to live in poverty at any time if so needed. Becaus as I get older, it's harder to keep a job. I run out of excuses for my social cluelessness at work, such as a young, impetuous temperament, immaturity, inexperience, a rebellious streak, etc.

...I suppose older Aspies live lives of quiet desperation?

Oh, wait a minute, that pretty generic isn't it?

Especially buried under snow, while the local council play "hunt the snowplow keys" in the UK and Ireland...

For me, almost 51 (which STILL freaks me, I am SURE I haven't REALLY finished my adolescence yet), life is far better than it ever was before...a lot of my life was hell...not unlike living on death row, never knowing when I would run out of ways and means to stay alive, or whether I had run out of reasons to.

I think I got more used to some people and some people got more used to me...

They are used to leaving me in peace, I am used to being left alone...it works...

Some days are good, some are bad...but, y'know what? I don't think my life is much better or worse than most people my age...

Just different.

M

Some of us older aspies simply learn how to look into people's ears, buy a webcam and get a facial expression book and simply learn how to cope. I've coped my way to at least being good in a job interview.

financially i'm better off than when young which is a relief.

physically..worse off

mentally...more stable

I'm still living like a student, 20 years later. I haven't managed the transition to the workforce yet. . .

It's not the fun it used to be. Now it's mostly just tiring.

But I'm getting better at sorting out what's what. Getting clearer as to what I can and can't do and what I really need others to do. It's harder for others to BS me these days.

It's no easier for older Aspies than younger Aspies. When you get older (and I'm not an older Aspie... yet) there are problems which might affect you that wouldn't have affected you as a younger Aspie. And vice versa. There are different problems but they are no less real, or severe.

You don't, for example, have the school environment with all its complexities and, for an Aspie, likely traumas. But you have, some time or another, to enter an independent life situation and have to do what you can to get ahead in the world of work. Just to name a couple of key situations that can be a struggle for Aspies.

Services for Aspies are required all the way through the life span, no less as an adult than as a kid.

this pretty well sums up my life

that is a very good point, keeno. and yet the sad reality is that there are virtually no services for us older aspies. and the ones who are mid 30's plus, for the most part had no services as kids either. school was hell for me. and leaving was even more hellish as i had absolutely no life skills. i did not even know how to use a bank acount in a regular manner, but i could dux subjects at school. the terror of life out in the community was always present. it was there in childhood as well. that AS terror some of us have lived with. But in early adulthood it really became so incredibly difficult to function. life just whirled on by. it's better these days , but i still spend most of my time at home and am reclusive and struggle with basic things and fluctuating sensory problems.

no wonder i hang out on virtual old WP so much at the moment....

Soylant Green.

How true is this! As a teenager in the 80s I was often labelled as shy because I wouldn't go into shops on my own. I remember quaking in my boots at the prospect of getting on a bus by myself, having to interact with the driver, finding a seat, etc. But like everything else, once you do it and do it again, you build your confidence.

That's not to say that the initial terror of doing something new goes away with time. A few weeks ago my wife asked me, quite reasonably, if I could go down to the local Starbucks (about 100 yards down the street) and get her a newspaper. I nearly pooped myself, but forced myself down there. What do you know - I picked up the paper, paid for it and walked out. Now I go down every Sunday morning and even order a coffee for myself!

If they had some kind of drug that rid you of that terror and paralysis when faced with something new, I'd have two of them please!

Temple Grandin has written (in her book, "Thinking In Pictures") about taking a low dose (about 1/2 to 1/3 the normal dose) of an antidipressant - I forget which one - to cure her anxiety attacks.