Are you just going to let your symptoms beat you?

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Have had many chances could have given up through,but am too strong minded and easy going to get to that level/state.

getting up,till going to bed is one big challenge after another,and am often been told [even by experienced nas support staff who have been working with autists for years] that they would gone insane if they had to cope with what am have to cope with,am constantly trying to find alternative ways around things along with the specialists and staff am have,but it is very limited when are severely affected by autism/complex needs,this is why am being filmed for a tv doc this year,it may actually get some better alternatives out of it.

am find people can be very helpful though in trying to make things as less painful as possible,for example,
buying clothes from sports direct in broadheath--have got a blue badge so staff are able to park up near the shop door,and no kids and car alarms can set am off from parking too far away[am temp.paralysed in both legs from sensory overload and seizures] ,the staff at sports direct are great because they switch off the music system when go there,though that doesnt mean the shop is always accessible as there might be people noise going on in there,or am might be close to a meltdown or seizure so if that happens,one of the support staff waits with am in car,and the other goes and finds a few possible items he knows would like,the shop staff actually bring the stuff out to the car so am able to choose.

Am wont be beaten by autism but really do struggle to not be beaten by treatment off staff for being autistic,being seen as a heavy burden on them and other residents,day in day out,one of them a few months ago encouraging am to kill self,sister had a meeting about this with manager,ld-nurse and social worker and nothing was done about it,being treated as if can help being self-as if are existing just to torture everyone.

As for others,am dont think its possible to see why people seemingly may be giving in to easily,without knowing them [away from the internet] and their life/ability/needs/situation/QoL/Living conditions,wp is for support so its where are freely able to say all the bad things,whether its just to get it out of head or to get advice on,as well as the good things,that will be why more of the problems get talked about here.

Cool. Do you have a blog or something that sends out updates? I'd love to know how that's going.

True. And it's supportive in ways that are hard to say.
I actually got off my butt today and tried something a little different. Long story, it failed... I don't want to tell the WP person who gave me the idea. It's bad enough that I'm a little disappointed, don't need to spread it around. But the point is, I do still try stuff. Give me a bright new idea and I'll try just about anything.

Last edited by Tahitiii on 03 Mar 2009, 4:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

There's another thing about careers training that I noticed.

We all did some "mock interviews" with partners and discussed body language.

What the teacher basically said was that employers judge on body language.
She said that if we had lazy body language and didn't act pseudo-enthusiastic we wouldn't get the job.

I noticed that the issue of:
"What about those people who genuinely struggle with social skills and body language skills through no fault of their own/genetic disabilities/differences?"

Was neglected to be mentioned.
In the interview exercise we had to judge our partners on the quality of their body language. but because we were in a relaxed environment, so we all did okay on that task.

The issue of AS in society was also curiously absent from the PSHE and citizenship schedule.

The only way to stop the anxiety is to face the fear. I had to do a speech once in front of people for my degree, that was one hell of an experience.

This describes my attitude perfectly.

If I'm sufficiently motivated, I'll grit my teeth & do what needs to be done. It's like I make a dare with myself - but usually it's something that I think will be enjoyable, as long as I get over my AS hurdle. Sometimes I'll overcome an AS tendency to do something because it will be "good for me." but this becomes less likely if I think it will also be un-enjoyable.

These traits:

I focus my gaze really intensely on objects I'm interested in. I've done this ever since I was little and have the photos to prove it. I believe that this is a natural "inbuilt" behaviour of mine as many people have commented on my bizarre focussing habits throughout my life-time. Many have found these focussing habits very amusing/offputting/rude. Focussing on objects means that I spend less time focussing on people. Therefore it's a gift as well as an absolute pain.

Examples:

-Focussing on classmates snacks during the lesson/on trips. They gave me a few nick-names for this behaviour with terms such as "The Snack Monster". What was scary was that I didn't consciously realise I was behaving like this until they verbally pointed it out to me.

-Detecting/observing small visual flaws in systems such as experiments. I have pointed mistakes out many times. I have saved my classmates from having test tubes blow up in their faces by saying which pieces of equipment were missing: the teacher thanked me afterwards.

-My eyes are pulled away from someone's face by objects about his/her person such as:
earrings and watches.

I've certainly learned to control and cope with this behaviour better over the years, but it's still there. I don't think I'll ever eradicate it completely, even if I could, I wouldn't want to.

Hyperfocussing seems to come at the expense of broader view socialising.

You're right about the idea that people can learn new ideas and practice things.
But fundamentally the underlying mental processing/operating system...
I'm not so sure...

Ah, well, if you try something new and it doesn't work, you've still gathered more data to add to your collection; sooner or later you'll have enough to put together into a solution, provided you don't find out in the meantime that you wanted to solve a different problem to begin with, or that you don't need to solve that particular problem after all.

Unbeaten topic

Very Insightful.And a lot of brave people have succeeded despite this.

It is getting a lot harder when the economy is so sluggish and so many of us are vying for few jobs. The more challenged candidate has to try differently. This is what I am trying to learn to do.

They don't beat me because it isn't a battle. Can't go this way? Try some place different. Can do it this way? Try a different way.

Tahitii,
failiure isn't bad,it just means that option may not be suitable or may need improving,at least are able to say have tried,and no one else can argue what is best for self.

it shouldn't be judged if someone limits themselves by not getting any sort of help that may be useful, choice is free,just like someone may choose or may choose not to-eat meat,have a cat or dog, or take any type of drug.

Those traits sound like then could help you though. Surely looking at someone's earings is better than looking at the floor? I think we all have our own battles to face. What have these traits stopped you from doing?

Thats another way at looking at things.

I feel a bit differently about it.

to me, that does not necessarily work because it assumes things can be overcome and it assumes a level playing field in the first place.

I am fine talking in front of a 1000 people or ten people on my special interests.
I am not fine in a social group. i have to go into the ladies and i have a meltdown on my own in the toilet, gasping for breath and rocking whilst sitting on the toilet. that i smy life, with a good understanding of anxiety reducing techniques which i then do in the toilet so i can go out into the world again and be reminded that i am frigging vastly different from everyone else in the room (and they notice this fact at times.)

Now, i can learn some skills to reduce anxiety but i can never get rid of the neurological difference between me and people who are not AS. that is a fact. I can compensate and try to adapt to some degree, but i can never "heal" or rid myself of the intrinsic traits that make me AS.
That being the case, i would say that the issue of anxiety for someone with AS is going to be a little more complex than the issue of anxiety for someone without AS. It is often more ingrained and it is also compounded by the stark reality that the removal of the anxiety can do nothing about the painful differences between me and other people who do not have AS. and so, the anxiety starts again. and again, and again. i think i am up to about round i million and thirty four in this regard.

i understand anemone's above post.

I don't believe in using AS traits as an excuse. But i do know i need to accept certain realities and take it from there, rather than assuming i can "overcome" the aspects of myself that are part of my AS and therefore a part of me. It's like trying to rip out my heart, or remove my liver.

i believe in trying to be positive. I also know that i have nearly 50 years of AS experience to go by, and it has been bloody tough.
bear in mind i may be far more f****d up by AS than some others who breeze and frolic through life with gay abandon. ( and i am not referring to any other posters here in saying that. just want to clairfy there. )

Yes! When faced with the decision of whether to force myself to overcome an AS trait to accomplish a goal - if the opportunity presents itself for me to "change the rules of the game" to reach the same end, I would totally take that option. The skill of learning to zig when everyone else zags is one that has served me well. As much as I like to think that I can overcome any of my AS traits to get something I want - looking back on my life, I've succeeded many times by simply "taking the road less-traveled."

So even though I like to take the attitude that if I want something badly enough, nothing will stand in my way - lots of times I end up re-evaluating the situation & deciding that I could get something better by playing to my strengths, instead of overcoming my weaknesses.

I didn't want to be crippled by my AS for the rest of my life and being unable to work and not be independent so I had to work on being flexible and be able to handle full time without getting stressed out and overwhelmed. I had to work hard to overcome it.

Exactly. Work with your AS rather than against it. I often find that because I'm willing to look beyond "what everyone else does" I'm able to find solutions that never would have occurred to the people around me. NTs will pressure you to do things their way, but you should stick with the method that works best for you.

@AmberEyes: Your "hyperfocussing" traits would make you an asset in many jobs -- the trick is to convince the NTs to give you a chance. Too many employers want someone who is "detail-oriented", but they don't want the personality that goes along with that. So they hire someone they like, and then wonder why the job isn't done right.

I'm lucky. Somehow I managed to land in a job where they were so relieved that the work was finally being done correctly that they're willing to put up with my idiosyncracies.