How you see me.

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- too hard; each new person I meet, is like a baby first learning to interact with their parents. Notice how a newborn baby doesn't really do much except stare? I'm worst than that in regards to social interaction, as I won't even stare
- my head loses all its learnt words when it bumps into someone it doesn't know, and even if it's someone it knows and it's an unexpected meeting, it'll still lose them
- too overwhelmed by the situation, which is tied in with the second point above
- I can usually converse with my mother when we first go somewhere, but in short-order I lose my ability to talk to her too

Not nervous or scared, just overwhelmed if I know you or totally socially ret*d if I don't know you.

Talking to me hurts, as receptive speech needs to be processed too.

When I'm home and with my mother, I'm a totally different person; it's like I have AS with her. I'm also somewhat ok in a one on one setting with a professional, for some reason or another (I think it was the speech therapy I had when little, as she was a nice lady, and I fondly remember that it was a nice experience for me).

So, leaving me be would be the best thing, or someone else who appears aloof. As you said, there's nonverbal individuals as children who'll still try and interact with you, and adults too; I'm not nonverbal now (I was, but that doesn't matter; as a nonverbal child I wasn't interested in interacting, however. I, introvert).

An interesting anecdote: I once had an old nonverbal autistic lady come up to me and put her curled up hand on my chest, with me doing the usual staring at the ceiling routine with the same curled up hand (pretty lights!); her carer told my mother that that's what the lady does when she likes someone. It was a weird experience.

That's, SkyDiver by Eyedea & Abilities; here

I also tap my fingers to the drumbeats/beat; it's a pretty common thing around these parts for people to do if I remember correctly.

I'm always wandering my eyes around looking at patterns. I don't expect anyone else to know what I'm doing because they can't read my mind. I don't see other people looking at ceiling or anywhere else. I have seen them looking down at their papers or straight across the room. That must be the norm then vs what we do.