Social Skills Training for Adults

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Uh.... no it doesn't... There are other ways but I am not going to post those details here. LOL!

The alternatives really don't compare. You sure you've been doing it right?

There IS a difference between a relationship and RELATIONS

ROTFLMAO right now. I MUST plead the 5th on this topic now. I am pointing a LOT of professional type people, Mothers, etc to this thread so must keep it rated G.


Now behave yourselves kids...

Sorry, for I simply COULD not resist! It was just TOO easy! I had the devil on one shoulder, the angel on the other! And when the devil said, "Go ahead, SAY it!" even the angel said, "OOOO, sounds like a GOOD IDEA!" Just like on SpongeBob (yes, I watch it sometimes ).

Oh, tell me about it. THE VERY SAME for me. I was terrible in relationships - I had, and still have, no idea how to function in one, nor any real desire to learn. I've been on dates without even knowing they were dates, and I was in one long-term relationship in which there was entirely too much time spent on the things I didn't even realize anyone would expect (my ex was always frustrated because I never thought to ask "How was your day?" although I eventually started doing it just for the sake of not arguing about something so minor).

Never mind that it seems like everyone seems to resent or dislike that I spend so much time on my interests. I mean, I like people, but I prefer my hobbies.



I'll keep this g-rated: I was never particularly a fan of this, either. I find that I just get overloaded from too much touch and heat and tend to get sidetracked thinking about other stuff, and it generally just feels like a chore. I don't particularly care if there is something that I am "missing" by anyone else's definition. Besides, I barely have a libido.

Guys. I have made a public facebook page that I encourage you to join. I expect to see professionals, parents, etc join this page and hope that some of you will help to Language or answer the questions that come to me. I respect all of your opinions even if I do not understand them. I do ask that we remain somewhat respectful so that it can be viewed by most anyone.

Look for it under

Karla's ASD page

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pag ... 9821204141


Once I get 20 "likes" I can apply for a shorter URL I hear. I am too busy to start or maintain a blog and besides the whole blogging thing confuses the hell out of me. Like how do I organize all the data? I think this facebook page will potentially lose stuff but I can search for stuff in the last 30 pages or so and that is good for me.

Anyway... Just an announcement and hope to see you there too.

This is a great idea - unfortunately I cannot like your page just yet as I'm not quite ready for some folk who are my FB friends to make the link between me & ASD. (Just feeling a little insecure at the moment... may feel entirely differently tomorrow morning!)

First thing I've "liked" on FB. I guess I just "outed" myself to ALL SEVEN of my FB friends! So, how does one "join" a page? Friend request?

I really appreciate what you've shared here, and am looking forward to your future posts, here and on FB.

O_O

Have your guys been talking to my guy?!

In a way I do know what he is talking about. Hanging out with my 'puter is - usually - a no stress situation. It isn't asking me what I want for dinner or what I want to do today or why I don't talk to it or trying to get frisky after an entire day of asking me questions I have no answers for. What he witnesses, from his perspective, is me with an animated face, smiling, occassionally laughing, engaged, excited, incredibly interested in what I'm doing. He wants to be THAT engrossing to me too.

The sad thing is, I'm not sure he ever can be. It's been clear for years that 'love' means two completely different things to me and to him. The things I need to feel loved and connected are just as alien to him as his needs are to me. And he is mistaking my calm relaxed interest in my diversions of choice as some sort of parallel to a relationship with a human being. The feelings involved are entirely different to me. My connection to my interests has no real corrolation to the feelings I have for people. They are almost seperate worlds. So, him asking me to 'feel for him the way [ i ] feel about [my] computer' makes very little sense to me. I understand what he wants and I'm afraid I can't give him what he apparantly needs. And I've told him so in those exact words.

I do occassionally enjoy people with the same interest and attention as other things but I cannot, for the life of me, maintain it. There are far too many expectations that, one by one, I fail to meet in a one on one situation that just turns extremely awkward and ends badly. More times than not, I will bail when I realize I'm losing steam, running out of the energy I need to maintain it, especially if it has been fun and positive. If I want to salvage the possibility of meeting up with this person and doing it again, I need to bail on a high note.

And, I learned all of that before I even had an inkling of what AS even was.

And, I did friend you! Looking forward to some substance on my FB newsfeed!

Last edited by draelynn on 30 Jul 2011, 12:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You know, I am NOT sure. But you liked the page which (I think) means you will get my posts in your newsfeed now. If you want to add another friend to your large list for any reason, my personal page is on there too. It is rather fast moving though and I have some pretty crazy friends and family. Right now I am discussing how I removed a bat from my bathroom and my kids are telling the world stories about their youth and bats in our house. Yes, I live in the country. LOL! I don't generally add people I've had no interaction with in the past but I have many internet friends in my friends list who pop in occasionally. You guys are welcome to do that if you want but I am hoping to keep all ASD related stuff to this new page.

First I want to tell you that you articulate so well that which I feel. I mean there is NO WAY that I could feel for another adult human being like I do my obsessions and it doesn't make sense that I do. With my obsessions, I am completely engrossed and have flow. Another human being makes "flow" (the very act) impossible. It doesn't mean I do not love, only that they do not give me the same kind of energy. In fact, they take energy from me. Being engrossed in my obsessions (whatever it is at the moment) is like doing drugs or drinking. I get the same sort of rush or buzz that I get from doing those sorts of substances. I bet science can prove dopamine or some other chemical reaction in the body.

Second I want to thank you a million for liking the new page. Hopefully I can find good stuff to share on a regular basis.

And lastly (forgot to tell you this earlier) is that I am from PA. When I go home I regularly visit another internet friend in Philly. So uh.... My next trip will likely be in Sep timeframe. I will plan on meeting you IRL then!

I am seeing your stuff on my newsfeed - not sure if that will continue, or if I need to "friend" you to get future posts - I'll watch and see what happens.

I think I'd like to take you up on your offer to join your "friends" list. I don't "get" facebook, and it would be interesting to watch how it actually works as a social network - all I see from my "friends" are "support (something) by posting as your status! I'll know who my real friends are by who does!" and Farmville stuff. If it goes too fast, I may "de-friend" you, though. Don't take it personally if I do - it'd just mean I couldn't keep up!

I won't clutter your personal page with ASD stuff, I promise. Honestly, you may never see a comment from me on either page - it just feels awkward to me. (I guess that's not exactly a shocker on this forum, huh?)

I live in the city now, but grew up in the country - it can be very, hmmmmm, "interesting" at times, can't it?

In my part of the world 'relations' is used primarily to describe ones extended family, not a euphemism for sexual acts. As ever, two countries separated by a common language.



I won't go into details but that particular aspect was a piece of cake compared to negotiating the social minefield throughout my teens and twenties. I would guess that education and awareness are generally better for younger people today, though with no thanks to modern technology many may have some highly unrealistic expectations.

[quote="kfisherx"

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pag ... 9821204141
[/quote]

busted link

I can't fix her post, but try this:
http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/Karlas-ASD-Page/155369821204141