WP members GF ill with cancer

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I haven't seen him on here in a few days, and a PM I sent a while back is still unanswered.

Maybe he came across that $30 and has already left? Either way, I hope he's there soon.

He mentions going on a camping trip with his grandpa in the post above. He's probably has no computer access right now.

yup, correct. Just got back from that tonight actually.
& as it turned out, he took us up to the Yale Reservoir, not the bonneville dam area.
And we caught 13 trout. Originally we'd been trolling for kokanee (landlocked salmon), but couldn't find any and eventually gave up and drove a lil ways from camp up the river to the Swift Creek Reservoir and caught the trout where it narrowed a little past the bridge. They were fairly decent size.
Definitely no computer access for that week., although i did have access to Facebook via texting on my phone.
Erisad (WP) recently enlightened me to the fact that you don't need cell phone internet service to access it .
So i was able to chat with Spazzergasm (WP) and a few other people for a lil bit when i had reception.
But that was basically all the contact with the outside world i had for a bit

Congratulations on the fish! Was that fly fishing? Did you have good weather?

I hope that the move to your dad's place goes well!

When you say that the chat with Spazzergasm etc was the only contact you had with the outside world do you mean that you didn't hear at all from Adrienne?
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yup, thanks .
Though no, not fly fishing. We used shrimp bait and bobbers.
Also used some lures called rooster tails that worked out alright.
we had some pretty hot weather for awhile near 100 degrees for a few days, but then it cooled down a bit.

surprisingly there were alot of non-English speaking & foreigners in the area where we were at. Like we ran into some Swiss motorcyclists, Russian families, and some group that was speaking something that i can only guess at because it sounded eastern European or maybe Ukrainian but i just know it wasn't Russian .

Oh, i'd almost forgotten to mention. I just meant during the actual camping trip pretty much. We spent a day or so at my grandpa's house first getting all the gear together and doing the prep work before we headed out.
I actually did get a call from Adrienne the first day while we were still at the house . Just not while i was actually camping though .

& my grandpa has cable tv, but he still refuses to get internet. Says he doesn't want to be tempted by internet porn . I think he just doesn't like new technology much. Alot of his appliances are pretty ancient.
But long-story short, it's also explains sorta what i meant by not much contact with the outside world: even while i was at his house, i still didn't have internet access or anything, really. Just my cell phone *shrug*.

if it weren't for the fact that my grandpa seems fairly sociable, i'd suspect he was an aspie (or maybe just "unique") too considering some of his quirks: he believes in Sasquatch & aliens, has a whole room full of model airplanes he's built in the last year or so that's reminiscent of aspie obsession, acts like a biker and loves to ride his motorcycle around, thinks the government is running cover-ups, etc.

UPDATE:

got a text from her tonight, yay <3
was happy to hear from her again.
She says that she's still sleepy alot, and she says her throat's feeling pretty sore right now.
but also that her doctor seems to think that she's recovering well so far .
I've asked her when her next chemo treatment is, & waiting to hear back on that.

Also, missed my doc appointment this morning 'cause my mom forgot it was today and didn't wake me up in time, but i've rescheduled for about a week from now, on September 1st.

moving into my dad's place prolly around the 30th.

looking for cheap flights, potential places to stay in Indiana, and other travel related things, etc.
and trying to figure out what all i should prolly take with me since i've never really traveled that far on my own before.
For those of you who've traveled such distances alone before, any suggestions ?

If this was a book/film a lot of people would be giving up here, all the urgency of the earlier posts has completely evaporated. ...

You go on a week's camping and fishing holiday and don't call or text your girlfriend every/other day for developments or to offer comfort, because, you say, cell reception was bad or non-existent, but you don't seem to have been all that desperate to know how things were with her either, because you didn't phone her as soon as you got cell reception again ... instead she texts you 24 hours after you get back, to say that she has a sore throat ( which unfortunately sounds like a rather lame excuse for not phoning/speaking to you in person ).

... seeing as Adrienne is supposed to have had not only an MRI scan, a biopsy, and an operation/surgery, but at least one chemotherapy treatment, and be on some sort of medication, ( unknown except for anti-depressants ), she should have some kind of prognosis by now. ie. How long does the doctor "give her"? At best a few months, or a couple of years, or does it look as if with therapy etc she could live to a ripe old age? Your posts give the impression that she is completely out of danger, ( and it's hard to believe that she ever was in any either ).


If you're going to be camping you'll need a sleeping bag, a small tent or at least a good groundsheet, ( big enough to roll around you if it rains ), and a bedmat.

Apart from that it depends on how long you're going for and whether you are staying at Adrienne's mom's place or not. I'd say that the following would be enough for a few days:

1 ) Your PLANE TICKET! ( Both ways! )

2 ) Passport/identity papers for the airport, Adrienne's mom , car rental, etc.

3 ) Money, ( and a cash/credit card if you have one ).

4 ) A money belt/wallet on a strap to keep most valuable things in.

5 ) List of important addresses, and contact numbers ( at home and in Indiana ) for emergencies.

6 ) Your cell-phone.

7 ) A map of the area, lists of hotels or campsites, etc ... ... ...

8 ) Toothbrush, small towel, other usual bathroom stuff, aspirin/paracetomol if you get headaches, and/or other meds.

9 ) A basic change of your nicest but most comfortable and hardwearing clothes ( plus socks and undies :lol ).

10 ) A waterbottle, travel snacks, ( fruit or cereal bars, nuts, cheese in wrappers, etc ), ... and a knife and fork and tin-opener if camping

11 ) A book to read while waiting places, and/or notepad and pen if you like to doodle/scribble to pass the time ( a pen and paper can come in very handy ), music with headphones if you have that, etc.

12 ) Favourite "fluffy toy" or other small and friendly mascot!

How long do you think you'll go for? You should be able to find some flights for less than $300 now/ very soon.

Good luck with finding out what's going on over there.
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hmmmm ?! i gave you $100 US to begin with, and then the other donations dried up and you pm'd me to say you still had $150 to go

(this is complicated slightly)

so the next day i went to paypal and gave you another $100 ($120 AUD) so you would only have $50 to go to achieve your goal.
(in firefox, i always open up new things in different tabs, so i often have many tabs open).
about 5 minutes after i sent the payment, i went to the wrong tab to check that i did the correct thing , and that there was $120 AUD pending for you, but it said there was nothing pending for you, so i stupidly did it again. the tab i went to was one i opened before i made the payment, and it was not updated.
when i went to the correct tab, it said there were 2 payments of $120 AUD ($100 USD) pending for you.
there is no way in paypal to cancel the second payment, and i rang the number given in the "contact us" link, and there is no option to talk to a human, so i resigned myself to the fact i was giving you $200 USD instead of $100.

then after a couple of hours, i got a pm from you stating that you had only $30 to go to get to your goal.
you would not have known i gave you $200 at that time because it takes 3-4 days to clear, so your post was not in response to my donation of $200 which i had not informed you of.

so that means you should be $170 over your goal now, and i am mystified as to why you are not on your way to her with an extra $170 spending money.

i am afraid that you have duped me, and if you have, then no other person in genuine need will get my money again because i will trust no one online after this if you do not post valid updates as to your trip as soon as you can.

you should probably get off your backside and get a ticket and go there tomorrow since you have the fare and an extra $170 dollars. if i hear nothing more and see posts from you like "just watched xxxx that i rented ...wow" then i will consider myself stupid, but at least i have paid for the lesson and will not forget it.

you really do not seem to be as anguished as you were in the first few pages of this thread when i believed you.

whatever....

Wow! $670 ! !! That should cover plane flight, bus and other bits of transport, and at least a few nights camping, food for a few days, and flowers for the patient! :lol

Seanmw said a few posts back that he was going to go after moving to his dad's, ( at the end of the month ), because at his dad's he would not be required to babysit his younger siblings, and would be freer as a result, ... and now it seems that he has a doctor's appointment on the 1 September so he can't go until after that ...

I agree that a great deal, if not all, of the initial urgency appears to have vanished ... and I am wondering whether this relaxing of tension, ( whether because the girlfriend's cancer is/was real but has been halted/slowed by the surgery, or because it wasn't real but the girlfriend has backed off from making it sound so urgent either because she is bored of maintaining the pretence, or because she saw that it might actually provoke seanmw to make the journey to visit her ), may be undermining seanmw's resolve/intention to see her ...

ie. it no longer seems quite so necessary ... and so perhaps he is wondering if he really has to do this huge thing of travelling further than he has ever done before on his own, ( according to his last post ), ...

It occurred to me that without that huge initial motivating and exciting goal/purpose, ( of "seeing his girlfriend at least once before she dies" which this thread began with ), the prospect of making such a long journey on his own, without his mom, dad, or grandpa, to see someone he has never met before in the flesh, and perhaps, ( depending on how A's mom feels about it ), stay with people he has never met, because he believes his girlfriend is ill with a cancer of unknown severity, and totally unknown duration, a girlfriend who texts him increasingly infrequently, who rarely answers his calls, ( and whose mom apparently isn't overjoyed at the prospect of his being there either ), could be so daunting/intimidating that he might prefer, consciously or unconsciously, to not have to go through with it ... especially if her story is beginning to seem a bit thin to him, and he fears finding out that it was in fact lies.

It might seem a lot easier, and simpler, now that the girlfriend doesn't seem to be in any immediate danger, ( for whatever reason, whether the story is true or not ), to stay home. I could understand that.

This thread wasn't his idea either. He might never have thought of doing this if other WP members hadn't suggested it. It may not have seemed very "real", not even doable, to begin with.
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Last edited by ouinon on 24 Aug 2010, 12:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Both my father and my step father died of cancer and from what I've seen, it is a roller coaster ride. I don't mean a thrill ride, but things can look stable and then suddenly plummet and then get better again. At one point my father was actually in remission but he was incapacitated because the whole brain radiation therapy they did caused scarring in his brain tissue. I understand they don't do that anymore. Anyway, if she was literally that close to death, I don't think she would be calling him. The last days are often in a semi comatose state. Just my experience from what it's worth. Also, people at end stage cancer are often in such pain that morphine doesn't even help.

I don't think that there is any suggestion anymore that she is at death's door. See seanmw's last couple of posts.

What I do think though is that, ( whether she really is ill or not ), seanmw may be wishing that he didn't have to do this. My impression is that the reality of the proposed journey is starting to worry him, ( see my last post ). I'm thinking he may be wishing that that this visit had never been suggested.

He doesn't have to go though.

He can send everyone's money back, ( I'd waive my $25, to cover the PayPal and postage charges that would involve ), and stay home, carry on phoning Adrienne and not getting a reply, or a very "sleepy" Adrienne who doesn't say as much as she used to, and getting occasional text messages from her ... or whatever ... eg. offer comfort to A by phone, meet her next year, or discover it was a "tale" etc.

Or we can support/encourage him to do this big thing, of travelling further than he ever has before on his own, to see people he's never met before, ( something that could trigger a mini or major breakdown in some people ), in the hope that Adrienne does love him, or that he's better off knowing the truth whatever it is, and that it will be worth the effort and the money and the anxiety/fear involved in going. ...

Is it worth it, that's the thing?
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oh, i don't have any problem with the travel, i fully intend to go to find out once and for all.
& the reason i haven't been as desperate lately is because with the surgery gone through, and the chemo in process, and finding out that the cancer stage wasn't as horribly severe as i might've first thought, and her doctor thinking her recovery seems to be going alright has been a great weight off my mind. Also as i've gotten closer to my travel goals, that's also helped alleviate my stress 'cause while before i thought i wouldn't get to see her & that it was potentially my last chance, now i have enough.

I'm still greatly worried that the cancer could come back, or that they might've missed something, After all, even less serious stage 1 or 2 cancer doesn't necessarily always have a 100% survival rate. But the worry is not at a frantic backbreaking level that it was earlier when i still knew relatively nothing and had only speculative fear.

i'm trying to be somewhat optimistic about the whole thing, but whenever i get a call from her or text, all that composure melts away, my heart leaps into my throat, and all kinds of worry resurface again ...
As with what Aimless kinda said, i just sorta feel like i've been on an emotional rollercoaster lately

I got that wrong then! :lol Reading too much into the confused face/smiley you put in your post about the journey! Did you see my list of stuff to take on the last page? ( I've done quite a lot of travelling alone ).


Yay! I hope you find a good flight deal and that the trip goes really well, and, ( however unlikely it seems to me ), that you find that she really is ill, but getting better, and is genuinely glad to see you. I also hope her mom lets you stay at their house.

oh yeah, & i saw the list. Thanks for the suggestions

Sean, did you eventually make enough money to visit your girlfriend?

Sean,

I hope you've responded to B9's last message by PM. He's given you about 1/2 of the money you raised. I think he deserves to know if it's actually going to be used for the reason he sent it. If the trip doesn't happen, you should give him the $ back.