The autism social rule book.

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Start of the write up of all these rules:

http://myasdcommunity.com/wiki/index.ph ... cial_Rules

smile and look at them

i have problems with putting my elbows on the table.

Here's one that took me way too long to get:

No matter how bad your friend talks about his/her mom (or other family members), the socially appropriate thing to do is just listen and nod, perhaps say "That bites" or "It stinks to be you."

Do not under any circumstances agree with them!
Furthermore saying: "Wow, you're mom sounds like a terrible person," or "so your sister is a slut then?" will get you punched in the face, even if you are just repeating what your friend just said himself/herself.

do not assume that NT's/ people you just met are going to want you to talk to them.
do not assume that NT/ people you just met are going to want to make plans with you to do things together just because you share an interest in one thing.

I've found that, if I can remember these three rules during a conversation, I tend to do pretty well. At least, if my goal is getting the other person to like me.

Talk less than the other person.

When you do talk, ask lots of questions and pay lots of compliments.

When in doubt, keep quiet.

I always double-check my bills but not usually my change. If it appears the cashier seems offended, I say "Just checking, sometimes I've been given too much back!" with a slight smile. It's also helpful because it is true, and I have probably saved a few cashiers' jobs that way.

Learn to shut up and listen, or at least "pretend" to listen. Say, make believe you are a sage, and nod knowingly, cryptically.

Being cryptic? Man, that would be pretending!

Always try to not get to know everything about a person in a few hours, it's very tiring and you won't have anything else to talk about to my believes

A few I've learned recently:
-Don't discipline someone else's dog.
-When people are talking about "thing" they're actually talking about how they relate to "thing" emphasis on they. Respond about they. You can steer conversations as long as it's about them and how they relate with ___.
-Don't show weakness or you will be eaten alive. Pretend to understand even if you don't, and don't ever think you do, because you don't.
-Don't trust anyone with anything that can be used against you if they have not proven their trustworthiness, and if they have, be weary of their intentions.
-If you start to feel frustrated, remove yourself from the situation, and deal with the consequences later.
-If somebody is wrong, then don't correct them. If the matter is important, use small words and try to lead them to the solution so they think that they found it.
-Try to say things in as few words as possible, using small words, so people don't misunderstand you, or read something into what you're saying.

There's my addition.

Avoid from making cryptic references that only you know what it means because most people just find it annoying and will likely think your weird. I know us aspies are all up in our heads and like to make references to things that were into. But NTs dont know what the hell your talking about.

don't judge others

-Your NT friends are not the enemy. Ask them for social advice, they CAN and WILL help you when need be.

-Conversely, your lower-functioning AS friends are also not the enemy. Be patient with them.

-The internet is your friend, and so is Facebook, there are a myriad of people with your special interests, all you have to do is look for them.

-Smiling never hurt anyone, and it makes you more approachable~

-D&D (and similar games) are a great way to meet people. They also tend to be very literal, and a gaming group can become your second family if you let it.

-Inside jokes are great-- when you're with people who actually get them.

- Even when you're trying to tell people that old people smell, and they don't smell so they aren't old as a compliment, they won't take it that way, so keep it to yourself.

- No matter how badly you want to hammer something into your wall, use a power tool, practice an instrument, or listen to music late at night/ early in the morning (midnight- 9am) If you live with people, DO NOT do it, write down what it was and do it at a more "decent" hour.

-"They have a ring of fire in their eyes" is a saying to mean a wild streak. There is no real fire.

- It's better to say "It's ok for you to cry" when someone cries than "Why are you crying?" If you don't know why, ask when they are feeling better, they will be more willing to explain.

I think NTs need to be educated this rule.

If you are really good at academics, hide this. For example, lie to other students about test grades and deliberately give the teacher wrong answers when he or she calls on you most of the time. But don't act too dumb.

Otherwise NTs think you are deliberately "showing out" and trying to insult them and then they'll hate you. A teacher told me this in elementary school and I didn't believe her...I learned the hard way she is right.