Asperger's vs. childhood abuse

Post Reply New Topic

lol. there's no AS going on here at all.

i'm so glad you got away from that therapist, Greentea--even happier to hear that she's really a dinosaur. hopefully she won't be tormenting any more people with ignorance.

is there any way you can keep her out of the diagnostic process? do you think it would help to explain that she is truly in denial about AS and refuses to educate herself?

(or am i off-the-beam again?)

I did, but the diagnoser insisted anyway, saying that all she wants is to ask questions so it doesn't matter. Oh sure, I can see the conversation already:

Diagnoser: Does she trangress unspoken social norms?
Therapist: Greentea? No! She sees 'em norms all right, then she'll go and purposefully break 'em. Anger. Aggressivity, I'm telling you. Childhood trauma.
Diagnoser: What about eye contact?
Therapist: No problems with that [doesn't mention how when we first started sessions, she once made a huge angry fuss about me not respecting her because I didn't establish eye contact]
Diagnoser: How do you explain her total social failure?
Therapist: I told you, aggressivity.
Diagnoser: Quarrelling?
Therapist: Of course! She's in denial, she swears she doesn't quarrel, but I won't be fooled. That's rebellion, caused by childhood trauma. I'm working with her on facing the truth of her need to hurt others.
Diagnoser: How long have you been working on it?
Therapist: 10 years. I think we're on the verge of a breakthrough, though.

i guess it sounds like a conversation a diagnostic team would have with the therapist who diagnosed me as schizotypal.

i just wish i could get a grasp on social norms. any kind of social norms. even non-norms, if that makes sense.

i'm so confused. i have no idea what to do.

i want to go in for dx. i mean it's almost ridiculous at this point to doubt i'm AS. i even have all the little "physical quirks" that tend to go with being one the spectrum. (symptoms of low cortisol levels, hypoglycemia, hypermobility/hyperflexibility of joints, various hypo- and hyper-sensitivities--on and on. even my night terrors and anxiety/depression patterns seem pretty similar to what's seen on the spectrum overall. it's like all the pieces of the puzzle are falling into place.

but i desperately need a clue about social skills. i don't see anyone in mainstream therapy being able to deal with that unless i have a dx and can see, say, a neuro-psychologist. (that's what i'm guessing i'd do.)

i'm really sick of the confusion. i'm sick of the deep ambivalence i feel about social situations, and all the push-pull i go through. (probably also related to PTSD--which i'm sure i have, and do have a dx of that.

i'm even really sick of not knowing how to do small talk.

i hate obsessing every time someone says, "have another cup of coffee." (do they mean it? or do they just want me to go home?)

i've got to get on things and get medical insurance in place for myself.

i'm tired of trying to work up my own treatment plan, lol. i've spent weeks obsessing about cortisol and adrenaline. it's not getting me anywhere. it's completely insane. i wreck every social situation i'm in--including here.

i can only laugh about it, in a way. otherwise, i'd be a wreck. maybe i am anyway--it's just taking a while to hit. (seems to do that.)


satire and irony. they're not just for breakfast any more. (if i didn't have them--i truly would be in the bin.)

and that's probably even completely inappropriate to say. i've no idea. all i know is--i'm really exhausted.

euphemisms

oh, please have another: i'm tired now and want to go to bed.

i better let you go now: go away.

schizotypal: pure (double-dee) bat@#$ crazy

client/consumer: patient


maybe i don't mind being called crazy
don't call me schizotypal


pat me on the head
while they hang that s*** on me
smile those oozing smiles
until i bleed

someday someone's going to listen
to me

until then


(i write.)

fire:

intense and moves rapidly

adrenaline

fire


(me)


"schizotypal"

a paper container

the sides will not
hold long

and then again--maybe i didn't quite manage to wreck them all. some miracle!

I started so many threads lately that I can't even read them all on time. Plus, my dad is in hospital again. This thread is far from finished, though.

it's okay, Greentea. i don't mean you. i'm off on one of my internal rants. it happens.

(see: cortisol and AS)

Yeah, I read that thread.

pretty bad. don't worry. i'll stay of your threads

beginning to discover i'm not exactly made for threads.

Hmm, I thought that meant "If you don't have another one, I'll assume you don't like them and get all offended and pout"... or "I made too many, eat, eat, EAT!" or "But if you don't eat the cake, I won't have an excuse to make more!!"
Those are the things I'd be most likely to mean, anyways. Of course, usually I simply SAY those things..

edited to put in the ] that I accidentally chopped out

Last edited by Maggiedoll on 10 Aug 2009, 12:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Hmm, I thought that meant "If you don't have another one, I'll assume you don't like them and get all offended and pout"... or "I made too many, eat, eat, EAT!" or "But if you don't eat the cake, I won't have an excuse to make more!!"
Those are the things I'd be most likely to mean, anyways. Of course, usually I simply SAY those things..[/quote]