Are you really autistic? my thoughts on this

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Very well put glider.

I don't want to question people's diagnoses. This might sound weird, but I already think enough as it is, I don't need to analyze people here as well.

If you look at my profile, I don't know if I have AS. I don't fulfill all the criteria in the DSM, specifically part A....I only have one symptom. The rest I fulfill. When I was younger, people would say, "you're like this because you're 'gifted.'" Strange thing was that I was not like the other "gifted" kids. BTW, I don't think I'm gifted LOL!!

I came here partially because I found I can relate better to individuals with AS and also I wanted more insight because my little brother has AS.

Thank you M_p_furo. I understand thinking too much about my life---let alone trying to analyze others. I teach the gifted, and the ones I have had don't act like me either---so I think there is a clear difference between gifted and AS. And you can be twice gifted (both AS and gifted). But I am AS only---though some saw me as gifted because I made good grades. But my IQ is 111 and below even being considered as gifted. Though I am in no way qualified to diagnose anyone, I do sense that you are AS just by the posts I have read of yours and how you discuss experiences. I believe I quoted off of you about gym classes today. And a big "yes" about relating better to AS people---me too. I truly feel at home here socially. It is perfect for me. I see so many others similar to me. Here I don't feel alone. As for your little brother having AS, you obviously realize the strong theory that AS is genetic. So if he has it, there is a good possibility that you do too. My youngest son was diagnosed with AS back in August. My oldest son thinks he might have AS too, but he doesn't want diagnosed. Since I haven't seen you around WrongPlanet until recently, welcome to the WrongPlanet .

The part of this thread I found most intriguing is the question Glider18 raised in her original post:

Why would anyone fake being autistic?

I was diagnosed as an adult, though as a child everyone saw me as different, sufficiently so to be put through batteries of tests, sent to psychologists and psychiatrists, and even almost hospitalized (it was the 1970s). Despite that history people who knew me then and still know me believe I am faking the AS, as if I could control an EEG or MRI result, fool three neurologists, two psychologists, and a psychiatrist, and produce the mental abilities (gifts?) I have.

Actually, I wish I could fool people sometimes, since that would put my social/emotional functioning into the adult range consistent with my age (40+) rather than the preteen range my neurologists, among others, put me at.

I don't post lengthy, introspective content, but always enjoy finding it here. I've been online virtually every day since 1991, and was first online in the 1970s. This is the forum I've stayed on the longest, and posted the most to. I wonder how many other members would report a similar experience...

Like Aoi, I too have been on this forum longer and more persistently than any other forum on the internet. My wife has even gotten frustrated with the length of time I have put in on here. But this site has helped with not only being a better husband, but also a better father. Now, at 45 years of age, I feel I have read a good deal on my owner's manual of life (reading about AS).

Also brought up by Aoi is the frustration of people doubting our AS. I think this happens a lot with people who know us in our jobs and elsewhere. Many of us with AS can often get along well enough to go unnoticed---but, if you get to know us well enough, our eccentricities show up. But I also think we act a lot in our lives. My therapist even told me to script out things in social situations. So before I go up to someone like at work, I think the lines beforehand. I imagine how I will sound saying it.

I generally avoid the threads where people question other peoples statuses or diagnosis. It just seems like baiting to me.

I look at it this way. The population in america and europe is 1.1 billion people. Last time I heard stats they we're stating 1 out of 100 people are on the spectrum somewhere. That means in america and europe alone, there are 110 million people on the spectrum. Why is it so hard to believe 30,000 of us would meet here. Not only is it not hard to believe, it in fact seems very probable. 30K out of 110 million seems highly probable. I don't disbelieve anybody on the subject.

Great post, thanks Glider!

Thanks for the great comments so far. I have to be honest that when I log into the WP and look at the threads and see this one that I created, I first take offense. My title does seem to imply that I am questioning the members here about the validity of their diagnosis. But, it is really quite the opposite. It's a thread to say that we that are diagnosed professionally, self-diagnosed, or think we might have AS/autism, have a right to that opinion. And I hope that everyone that reads the latest posts on this thread goes back to look at my original post here and the comments that follow.

I created the thread after seeing a lot of questioning threads, and like many of you, I have been down a road of discovery wanting to make sure that I had the right diagnosis. It took a lot of honest and truthful analyzing and work with my therapist to make me confident and sure that I had AS. Even though I knew it was the diagnosis that fit me best, I still like to have a 100% "for sure" feeling about the diagnosis.

Even though I stress the great things that autism can give to us (and the positive thinking), there is no way that I would say I was AS/autistic if I was not, and I am sure the members here feel the same way (though I realize statistically there will always be that very small percentage that...well you know). And I believe in the honesty in our members here. So many of you are pretty sure you have AS, but still list in your profiles "self-diagnosed" or "think I have it". To me that shows great honesty because those members state honestly how their diagnosis was derived. Since there have been a lot of threads especially aimed at the self-diagnosed, it gives me more reason to believe the self-diagnosed---because they are being honest. I have talked to self-diagnosed AS individuals before, and they are very much on a truth-seeking mission in their lives. Often times the self-diagnosed have analyzed to the point of becoming experts on autism---to an extent greater than many psychologists.

So the reason for this thread---to hopefully add my support to the members here, who like me, have either questioned their diagnosis in the past, or are currently questioning it. I feel fortunate in my confidence of my diagnosis today, but a year ago I was still wanting to know for sure that it was correct. And I wish that for everyone who questions their diagnosis---that you may find the peace in your diagnosis.

Congratulations Odin on being twice gifted. I would like to know the statistics for the number of twice gifted.

And now for an added something off topic. I need help. I do have something that gives me problems that is co-morbid with my AS. Though I am not officially diagnosed with this---I am 99.999999999% sure that I have OCD. OCD makes me a constant checker of doors, light switches, where I placed my keys and billfold, etc. This has come in handy at times when my wife leaves the iron plugged in and turned on by accident, and I discover it. But...there are issues with OCD that are miserable. For example, everytime I buy something expensive (such as the model railroad house that was custom built), I do some innocent little thing like reattach a loose gutter for example and then feel that I may have hurt the structural integrity of the model by exerting too much force on the part that was loose and thus damage the model---even though nothing is hurt on it---it's just a feeling I get. When I got a big telescope years ago, I adjusted something on it and the mount moved and I feared I had damaged the telescope by hurting the mounting mechanism and thus cause the clock drive to malfunction. I called the company, and they assured me it was fine. I had matching symmeterical windows put in our house, afterwards I spend a month of measuring them to make sure they were perfectly symmetrical---and they weren't. I thought about moving them. But eventually I got ok with it---and it hasn't bothered me since. With my tattoos, I am in constant fear I will do something to damage one of them like by stretching the skin too much or by rubbing too hard with a towel after a shower. And after I make a post on WP, I feel like I have to re-check and proofread for errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics. Well, I am not proofreading this post . Does this belong in The Haven? I don't think so, it isn't causing me grief really, I realize these things are in my mind and I usually get over them...but I still wanted to discuss them with you and say that I have problems like everyone else here.

Thank you for listening and being so acceping of me as a member of WP. I truly value every comment made.

glider18

[quote="glider18]

And now for an added something off topic. I need help. I do have something that gives me problems that is co-morbid with my AS. Though I am not officially diagnosed with this---I am 99.999999999% sure that I have OCD. OCD makes me a constant checker of doors, light switches, where I placed my keys and billfold, etc. This has come in handy at times when my wife leaves the iron plugged in and turned on by accident, and I discover it. But...there are issues with OCD that are miserable. For example, everytime I buy something expensive (such as the model railroad house that was custom built), I do some innocent little thing like reattach a loose gutter for example and then feel that I may have hurt the structural integrity of the model by exerting too much force on the part that was loose and thus damage the model---even though nothing is hurt on it---it's just a feeling I get. When I got a big telescope years ago, I adjusted something on it and the mount moved and I feared I had damaged the telescope by hurting the mounting mechanism and thus cause the clock drive to malfunction. I called the company, and they assured me it was fine. I had matching symmeterical windows put in our house, afterwards I spend a month of measuring them to make sure they were perfectly symmetrical---and they weren't. I thought about moving them. But eventually I got ok with it---and it hasn't bothered me since. With my tattoos, I am in constant fear I will do something to damage one of them like by stretching the skin too much or by rubbing too hard with a towel after a shower. And after I make a post on WP, I feel like I have to re-check and proofread for errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics. Well, I am not proofreading this post . Does this belong in The Haven? I don't think so, it isn't causing me grief really, I realize these things are in my mind and I usually get over them...but I still wanted to discuss them with you and say that I have problems like everyone else here.

Thank you for listening and being so acceping of me as a member of WP. I truly value every comment made.

glider18[/quote]

OCD and attention to detail are different, you are doing detail, not turning on and off the same light switch for hours.

I build machines and models, and just putting together a gear set takes perfection, or it will fail. bearings, shims, preload, backlash, mating surfaces, all have to be perfect. It also has to be clean, and lubed, and if any one check is out, it has to be taken apart, and start over.

I picked up on that with your HO Scale, I know the type, and Dioramas, miniture paintings, one hair brushes, and many other fields that perfection is the standard.

I am a scratch builder, card stock, Elmers glue, cutting tools, and over all surfaces, such as a 36" wingspan, every point must be semetrical. All surfaces must be faired, smoothed to the curve, and when they are, another coat run just for surface tension over the whole surface. 600 grit is course, silk polish is better, and hand rubbed crosses the 1500 line per inch that the eye sees as mirror. It is not of course, so wax, several coats applied thin, 1/10,000", and rubbed out between coats brings out the boundry layer, the mathematical surface between wing area and air.

Like a boat design displaces water, and is tested by how this moving displacement works in various wave patterns until it fails, the wing displaces air, has moving stresses, and pulling out of a dive, at some point the wing will fold or just tear off. The art is, building just strong enough to survive the conditions encountered, and over building works to early failure, for an extra few ounces becomes massive inertia in high speed manuvers.

An ounce at the wing tip is very different than an ounce where it connects to the body, as from the center of mass out all dynamics are a sphere. All force converges inward to the center, all mass decreases out to the edge, and design places structural design above materials design.

In the arts of perfection, such as motorcycle racing, a fairing that has a 1/10 MPH advantage, considering all else is perfection, over a 12 hour race, willl finish 1.2 miles ahead.

My check lists contain things that can only be tested in the mind, and then checked in time trials.

Wheels are balenced to a 1/10 ounce standard, but the person who takes a file to that can get within 1/1000 Oz. and at 160 KPH, the differance shows.

On an engine the crank shaft is often Grams out by factory standards, race standards are Micrograms, and with a surface polish, for casting flash cause turbulance in oil, and are weak edges where failure can start. The same for rods and pistons, reducing the weight, matching the mass, polishing the surface, when there is less it is stronger, with low resistance, and little out of balance.

There are forces that work to move you forward, and forces that produce only drag and waste effort, lower potential, cause inharmonious vibrations, friction, cause bearings to wear unevenly, egg shape wear patterns, and even when everything that can be done is, a rough fairing edge can cause an unequal drag, a curl of turbulant drag, vast performance differance on turning left or right, for the medium you are moving through is the main factor.

Going for the record, days with low air pressure, low humidity, will show higher performance than humid and high pressure days.

We do not race every day, but must be race ready, knowing where your keys are helps.

This type of thinking is why it is safer to fly coast to coast at 600 MPH, than to go to the bathroom in your own home. You are right to run a personal, keys, wallet, check, and a home check, for homes kill more people than automobiles.

Going back a few geneations, where skills come from, he who always knew where his spear was, who watched for Saber tooth tigers, was the one who lived. Being personally prepared, my kit is tight, observent of the local conditions, when a bucket of water can stop a fire, or waiting and nothing will, and being prepared for things that do not happen often, but are almost 100% over time, is just sensable living.

Applied Autism, why all the Inventors I have met are autists, why the best machinists and model builders are, why the ability to direct the mind into a narrow focus over time produces great works, attention to detail, for everything is a collection of details, does define the "Differance in thought and perception" we call Autism.

When I look at a machine I do not understand, I seek to understand the function of the parts, and overall function becomes clear. I can fix machines I have never seen, and then design something that is better than the fifty year old design that has been carried forward without question.

I do not seek a therapist to help me accept the old design, to stop my thought that this can be done better, I write it up with drawings and send it to the Patent Office. My reactions to modern life are that it is an old system carried forward, some which are tradition accepting a lack of function, and some, that the skills I have do apply to the world I live in, and only Applied Autism is going to work for me.

A Masters in English Lit almost assures no ability to write a book. They are advanced consumers, can compare others, but not create, great writers come from within, have something to say, can tell stories, and don't worry about English majors. The perfection is in the story told, not in the penmanship.

Books do not come from the New York Book Factory with Ivy League English Majors. The Patent Office is not a Government program for producing inventions. The worst person to see for advice has a Degree in Psychology. The designs of Engineers cause humor on the shop floor, and are corrected into something that can be made with the tools, standard parts, and can be serviced.

What are the parts? What is the function of each? How do they work together? Applied Autism.

I have a word for NTs, Customers. Almost all of my repair business has been due to operator error. They pay for my service because they need it. They need it because they lack the wiring for reality, I do Reality, $100 an hour and up.

The Reality of Applied Autism, What are the parts? What is the function of each? How do they work together? Is within and without. Skill sets vary, I have no music of sound, but play a silent music of math and machines, both produce a harmonious whole, nothing missing, nothing extra.

I do these things, I do not do these other things, should I spend the rest of my life curing my lack of knowledge about the Dukes of Hazard TV program, or other NT realities, and try through Psychobabble and drugs to quit thinking of Inventions? It would make NTs happy, for they fear change, and my robot factories will replace any need for them. Questions? I like robots. All programing is Applied Autism, so I chose to follow where my skill set leads.

The real question, if you are really autistic, are you living it fully, or living in self destruction to please others who you will never share understanding? It does seem to make them happy, do you want to make them happy, or yourself?

The Greeks of old said, "In old age there are but two regrets, those things you did, and those you did not, between the two, those you did not are by far the greatest."

Are you living your life?

Thank you again to all of you responding to this thread---it's interesting how many things are being discussed here that is so interesting such as:

Inventor and the discussion of Applied Autism. I haven't heard of that term before. Inventor---you have me very curious on this now. Do you think then that I don't have OCD because it is Applied Autism? That is most interesting. I will check the lock on a door like three or four times within a few seconds and then move on. I like my items in a specific place. But what is most noticeable for me is the rechecking of things like my models and telescopes, etc. to make sure they will are as perfect as they can be. When I paint a model, I am very concerned that the paint lines are straight and not bleeding over onto a piece of trimwork that it shouldn't be on.

Odin, how you do things with checking is like me. Inventor has mentioned some interesting points here about Applied Autism that I wonder if you have done any research on.

Spokane_Girl, sometimes I think like what you are leaning toward here---let's just relax with our autism and move on with our lives. But for some reason, I just keep analyzing certain things about myself. Maybe it is because I have only been diagnosed with AS for a little over a year, and I am still fascinated by the aspects of autism and my life. Thank you for your comments.

Applied Autism, and the Big A, are terms first brought out on Wrong Planet, by self.

The Big A joins all the Autism Spectrum, for the fine line Dxes do not hold up. Shared traits and obsessions are found all over, which shows a unity the AS, HFA, slices miss, that with common parts has a common function.

It also speaks of beyond the DSM criteria, Autism prevades my life, it is not just a few traits that could be treated, it is a whole world view.

As you are with models, telescopes, and paint jobs, so are all the people who show restored motorcycles, and they are not autistic. Attention to detail, the search for perfection, for show judges, Concourse Standards, a 1963 bike with a replated original bolt loses points, and the judges know the differance between period and replacement parts made a few years later.

I am pre Dx, way pre, and just adapted. I found I had useful skills, over time I learned to use them.

First comes a focus on the parts of things, their function, which is not the part, just the function expressed. This is important, for the rest is built on these functions. Parts join into systems that have a function of the whole, brought forth by the collection of functions of the parts.

The key to invention, producing the function of the whole with less part functions. Doing the same job with less parts, using less energy, is the defining issue of a patent. So it is not the parts, but the functions, which can be done many ways. If patent A has four parts, and patent application does the same job with three parts, it is worthy of patent.

It is where all knowledge is tested against the known, and where only new and superior thought is granted a patent. It must also be unknown, and the Patent Office has all the world's patents, plus all the books and papers published, and if it is mentioned or even taught toward, no patent.

It is some kind of Technology Olympics. The standard is, the creation of new knowledge.

I find inventors to be autistic. All autism, 1 in 100, all patent holders, 1 in 5,000.

I once wrote a book about it. It takes the focus to look at the parts of objects and derive their function, then the function of parts working together, to produce a result.

Most of the world sees parts, and calls AAA when they have a flat. All good mechanics see function, as all machines have parts, different, that provide the same function. So to troubleshoot a machine, it is in the world of function not performed.

Engines run on compression, fuel, spark. Behind each is a system of functions, and the engine does not run well if any one part of any chain is not functioning, and it is one part in hundreds. As I see function, I got called to troubleshoot when all else failed, and could quickly narrow it down to what it had to be.

So Applied Autism is the result of field testing of systems and patents. Both mechanical systems and concepts in technology follow the same pattern, which just happens to match my brain. Both are reality checks, and I live in reality.

I see this in what you have said about music. Functions produce notes, and you can see the function of a new instrament. You do not learn it, you take your learning to it. Knowing the function, you can then reach the full range it can produce.

Gifted in music? Or gifted in seeing the function of note producing devices? Or double, for the range is not the tune, which is also needed, the patterns of notes.

I have no musical talent, yet we are the same. We both see the function of devices.

That we are both autistic does not explain it. There are others here who have the same vision about other things. Where you just know the pattern of notes, I just know the pattern of machines, and this pattern recognition is the common bond.

A knowledge of the function of parts, of the function of systems of parts, and the desired output of said systems. This is Applied Autism, and I see a lot of it.

As for rechecking things to be sure they are still perfect, when I go out to fight the Wraith invasion I want you on systems. There is a guy just like you in the pit that is the only person who can pull a bike out of the race, call for changing a wheel, because he does not like the way it looks. Aircraft mechanic, atomic power plant, lots of places where that is the skill to have. I do the same checking on my motorcycle, what can be improved? I am always looking for a part better than I have.

Just because the skill set you have is not critical to teaching school, it is a skill set, not a disability.

Because it is defined by NTs, autism is seen as the differance. When looked at alone, I always see the exceptional. There is a lot of confusion about differance, but there is a lot of exceptional skill here.

Applied Autism is taking an inventory of skills, functional range, then looking for where that set fits, and it does.

I could not do what you do, the social load of teaching, I have lots of limits, but I have a world where me and my skills fit perfectly.

The only goal to have is finding your place in life.