What do you want to do and what's holding you back?

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I want to find employment and Coronavirus is holding me back. I want to travel to London and I can't for the same reason. I think that the world is literally ending as I type this.

I want to accept this awesome job offer I received.
What is holding me back is a hiring freeze courtesy of COVID-19.

I just want to be free...
To roam free, to have the best lifestyle I can dream of, to at least devote myself at something.
To have anyone no longer worry too much about me. I have no real goals in mind nor any aspirations except to be simply be free.

I want the 'me' who's in control of myself and my life, for the most of my productive age.



And what's holding me back?
Many things, most especially myself. It could simply be the way I see things, it could simply be just my body influencing the way I see things.

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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I want to build benign technology, but all the main investors prefer to sell inefficient solutions that require further purchases.

^^ Well, you can put a camera on a drone, and wear VR goggles. A friend of mine still flew his into a tree, though.

No motivation, lazy,

insufficient energy and intelligence and money.

Fear of jail, failure, ridicule, shame

Sunk costs

Effort justification

Not efficient

Get published

Get job in STEM

Friends

Hobby

What I want: To finish college with the best grades possible and earn my degree with as little debt as possible. I want to also get my own apartment or with roommates and live independently and have a steady career I enjoy.

Holding me back: Money and the fact that I don't have a very impressive resume that will catch the eye of potential future employers.

I segment life. Religion, relationships, hobbies and interests, employment...

I have all of them where I want them, except for employment. I'm tired of all the short term jobs with no control over my own hiring and firing. I'm tired of the stigma of long term unemployment. I'd like to have a job that I controlled and earned enough to to pay bills, with a little left over.

What's stopping me?

An inability to come up with a viable goal in a small rural town with a limited customer base and limited training options. Alas, being happily married to someone who wants to stay here and owning the house instead of renting, means I won't be relocating to a city. Yeh, I know my situation is better than most, but this employment thing is an itch that I just can't reach and it's driving me nuts.