What age did you realize that you were "different"

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It doesn't take a great amount of social awareness to notice that everyone is talking to each other except you, and that while most people seem to like hanging around with other people, you like to go to the library. It also doesn't take much to tell that people seem to enjoy engaging in conversation that bores and confuses you- either that or they're stupid, because they do it all the time. It's just simple comparison and contrast.
I know a child who is diagnosed with autism- not Asperger's- who is well aware of his social problems and bothered by them, because he really wants friends. Social inclination and social awareness aren't the same thing.

Your description there immediately brought an old "picture" to mind. My neighbor "Mike" never wanted to do anything I wanted to do, and he was often "smart" with me (but never really a bully). At one of his birthday parties, I did not know any of his other friends. Someone gave him a new ball bat that day, and I asked him if I could carry it while we all went out to the field behind the house to play. He let me do that, and then I took a couple of practice swings and hit a couple of rocks ... but then that put some small dents on the bat and he was rightly upset ... and then I spent the rest of the afternoon confused and crying on the inside while wondering what might have gone wrong!

I think I have sensed I was different from around junior school. So around age 9 or so. As I got older I became more and more aware of how different I was in many ways. However, even at 35 I can still think that other people think like me etc at times although it will eventually become clear that they don't. Ie At 19 I was at college when a lecturer told me that I had a tendency to be aware of things that other people missed when doing an analysis but until I was told that I had no idea I was doing it. I just assumed that if I was aware of something so was everybody else...

So whilst I am aware at times that I am different there are also times I can forget until I am reminded of it again. Usually that reminder comes in the form of being misunderstood or bullied though.

What do you mean, different? I've never known anyone who was like me.

Of course, now I know it's autism - but I spent half a century back there trying to work it out. Now I know it's autism - well, I spend my time trying to work it out. Sad, eh?

I would say something similar. I could never understand why so many people seemed to miss so many things while thinking, but then a fellow drunk (back in those crazy days of mine) once suggested he and I form our own little "intelligentsia" club ... and then I no longer felt quite so "terminally unique" even though the best use either of us could ever make of that was in out-smarting each other for drinks ...

... but then even that became boring (and I found myself confused and back in my own little "intellectual 'world of one'") when he just could not keep up!

Viva la difference topic

No assessment for me. I am now 56 and was considered disruptive, silly, confused, a daydreamer, out of touch--all this but my mother refused to segregate me, though the reason was not positive. She thought our family would be stigamatized, and stand out if word got around. Anyone different in our neighbourhood was not looked upon with favour. The 50s and early 60s were times of conformity, and "difference" was seen as a weakness and not to be emulated, and ideally hidden. Of couse this was a dysfunctional solution but it did not just apply to me, and I now see why such dysfunction was the norm.

Well, to solve that conundrum, then I arbitrarily declare the severity of ones aspergers is more correlated with ones 'social inclination' than social awareness. There, that solves everything.

Last edited by swbluto on 30 Apr 2011, 12:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Probably about age 15 or 16. Before that I was too wrapped up in my own view of things to be able to compare myself to others. But it still took until age 59 before I realized it was AS and 3 days after my 60th birthday before that was confirmed.

Right. I've just never cared much if I was weird. Mostly, this is due to my lack of need to be surrounded by tons of friends. One or two have always been enough for me.

Plus, the issues that lead me to realize I was different have little to do with social behavior (I didn't become aware of these problems until I was a teenager... lol) and more to do with tactile issues and meltdowns. I couldn't play like the other kids because I found a lot of the toys scary or gross. I used to freak out and lose control of myself, and I never saw the other kids doing that... etc.

Can you please elaborate?

Autism/Aspergers isn't the only reason why one would have that experience, would it? It seems quite plausible that fairly NT high IQ types could experience that much the same and/or anyone with severe communication deficits.

I'm asking that because that sounds eerily similar to large tracts of my growing up, but my parents are both clearly NT and if aspergers is largely hereditary, it would seem quite a puzzle how I would've obtained aspergers and/or had severe expressions of autistic traits. Maybe some get lucky in the game of genetic roulette?

It's a joke. I realize that "social awareness", "social inclination" and "severity of aspergers" are relatively independent concepts just as "social awareness" and "social inclination" are relatively independent concepts in the NT world. Although, there is a positive correlation between the two.

Oh. lol

I think for me, awareness came when inclination increased slightly. So I'm not entirely sure they are separate.

8 or 9 years old.

ruveyn

Was it 8 or 9 for you because you suddenly realized[b] that the other kids played and hung out with each other and didn't want to hang out with you? I have seen NT 4 year olds already showing some social savvy by saying "You're not invited to my birthday party" when their mad at another child or playing together and excluding the third child who feels upset because her friends are not playing with her. It occurred that even when I was 7 or 8, I was so oblivious to these things until I made that sudden leap at age 9.

Allie Kat
http://www.myaspergerslifestory.com/my_ ... years.html

Around 8 or 9 I realized my disinclination to "hang out" was a dysfunctional variation. Also being rejected for pick up games of baseball began to rub me the wrong way. My peers sensed their was something "different" about me and I finally caught on to that vibe.

ruveyn