Do aspies want friends or not?

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Well, I think it's clear that Aspies/Auties are at least _interested_ in having friends! This thread piled up five pages in one day!

I would like to have more friends than I do. At least I still have cousins, and that blood- bond doesn't go by attenuation. And I have quite a lot of internet friends. I seem to be like most people, wanting friends, but in a lazy sort of way, not wanting to give the attention time and sociability stress time that it takes to keep unrelated friends.

I don't think I understand what a friend is, or at least not in the same sense that NTs do. Mostly I think of friends as people I talk to about my special interests, or people I spend time with out of convenience. I think an NT thinks of a friend as somebody they relate their emotional status to, which is something I don't do with other people unless I have a meltdown or they are encroaching negatively upon my space. I don't have any motivation to share whether I'm happy, sad, etc with somebody unless they are directly involved or relevant. I've tried it, and it just isn't satisfying. So in a sense, I always need people or companions to talk about my favorite things or maybe partake in fun activities with, but I don't need to share or receive emotions with these people. Friends can get too complicated though, even at that basic level of relation which I maintain, and I try not to have too many. They are quite insensitive to my need to avoid people sometimes, and don't realize that when I say no to attending a social event it isn't out of being rude but because I just can't do it. Luckily, I've never had a problem keeping friends, only making them, and that is mostly because of my own isolation rather than other people isolating me.

Want friends? Yes. Have friends? Very few who really accept me or want me around for very long.

Intellectually I think I would probably enjoy having a few good friends outside of my family.

That said I am largely indifferent about having 'friends' and with few exceptions, quite uninterested in socializing.

I have very enjoyable scientific and philosophical discussions with my Clinical Psychologist/Neurologist and it is very clear that he enjoys our conversations too.

Unfortunately most people, in 'social' settings at least, find such topics to be as tiring as I find 'socializing', so my pleasurable dialogues with people, outside my family, are few and far between.

As an aspie, I wish I has more friendships with others but I have one good friend who has AS and we have a good friendship.

When I was younger I had 3 or 4 good friends who I hung out with until about grade 10, when my friends started to gain many friends and started a large social circle, thats when I started to feel left out and I felt better hanging out with my new friend with AS.

Yes I agree Aspies like myself strongly desire relationships like anyone else but It's hard to hang out with others who don't have AS.

My very limited social 'circle' means that I am unable to comment meaningfully on whether I find it easier to socialize with Aspies or NTz.

I find socializing singularly difficult, stressful and for the most part pointless EXCEPT - when it is related to business!
- I can then put on an Academy Award performance, which generally leaves me exhausted, but which I keep well hidden until I am back in the safety of my own privacy

What I can say is that in a purely social setting, it seems to take quite a lot of effort, not least patience and to some extent compassion, for someone to engage with me unless the conversation is purely intellectual/analytical
- Regardless of whether they are NT or AS

Flip side of this coin is that on those occasions where I do have a meaningful, enjoyable and perhaps insightful conversation, I experience a very deep feeling of gratitude/appreciation

I want friends, I don't want too many though. Only three or four close ones, because more than that would make me feel as if I was drowning/being swamped.

The Invader Zim eppisode "Bestest Friend" hits home with me and makes me wonder if
Jhonen Vasquez is on the spectrum somewhere.

I would say yes.

Socialization is not easy for me. I hold conversations as well as a basket holds water. That said, I do want friends to whom I can relate to, hang out with, et cetera. And I do believe I have that circle of friends, but at the same time, if I hang out with them too much (read: daily, or even every other day) I get fatigued. I need balance, but I still need friends. Now, I probably don't sure nearly as much interest in friendships as much the stereotypical NT does, but I still show an interest in them.

Most people on the spectrum that I know have a desire for friends...from what I see, only a handful are true loners. A few have been successful at finding friends that understand them, and these friends are usually other aspies or those who have been stigmatized and have trouble making friends as well. What I see much less often are people on the spectrum truly connecting with others who are neurotypical.

Although I have many NT friends and my core group of friends are socially successful NTs, I also have an atypical autism profile, and understand that this is may not the reality for everyone. But friends are friends, regardless of labels or stigma. I have countless people on the spectrum or have intellectual disabilities that I consider my friends.

I feel more of a connection with Star Trek characters than I do with any NT.
Pathetic I am.

A trekkie that talks like Yoda.

You are not alone.

I always related strongly with the Autistic characters in Star Trek, Odo, Data, Spock and indeed the Vulcans in general.

There is a wonderful Star Trek episode 'Carbon Creek' which is almost a documentary on Vulcans - text book gifted high function Autistics.

Star Trek always had a strong theme of inclusiveness, which is probably another reason it appealed to me.

No. It's just too hard.

I crave having just one real friend... but it has been beyond reach for over 60 years.