AS or NT? Confused.

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Ha, I just read something which reminded me of something from my childhood. I used to collect loads of things. Stuffed animals for example. Had a lot of them and they were always on my bed and they had to be in a very specific order. So every morning when making the bed I spent time putting my stuffed animals in their correct places. Did any of you ever do stuff like that?

Sure, it's up to you to decide for yourself, obviously. It might make you 'happier' to find out about your Aspietteness!
Having to have things in order like you describe is certainly an general Aspie trait, although I don't have it to anything like the same extent.
Believe me, I know how difficult it can be to make up your own damn mind, plenty of times, when you do need to but it's no easier just cos some Dr type tells you. Plenty of times, I'm quite prepared to disagree with the 'experts', personally, as I'm the only expert on myself that I recognize!

Let me put it like this. The more I think about it, the more I read about it and the more I look back at details from my childhood, the more I suspect I have Asperger's. Even though I'm obviously not sure. I might be terribly wrong. But there must be a reason for people with AS to think I've got it and I don't really see how I could have all of these traits otherwise. It's not like I'm pretending. I'm bad at pretending. I don't like pretending.

Last edited by rebbieh on 20 Mar 2012, 3:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yay! As you'll know, Aspies tend to not like pretending & tend to not be good at it!

So I've heard

So, how's the making your mind up going?

It's like there's a battle going on in my brain. One part of me thinks Asperger's is very possible and that it'd explain a lot. The other part of me is trying to tell me that I'm making it up, exaggerating and that I'm wrong. So I guess the answer to your question is that I don't know. Any suggestions on how to make up my mind?

Uh! Usual sort of battle, thh. Been through that enough times but it's inexplicable, sorry. It's your mind & you will, simply, have to make it up for yourself. Yeah, it's tough, sometimes; didn't I say that before? Uh huh, that's life for you. *shrugs*

How long did it take for you to make up your mind?

About being an Aspie? That just 'clicked'! Other stuff? Years. Not exactly helpful! You're still so young, huh?

I guess I'll just have to keep thinking about it and then we'll see how it turns out. Just wish it was easier you know.

Yeah, wouldn't we all?

I briefly elucidated one possible negative consequence in my previous post, but here are a few others:

- Stigma (autism is poorly understood by the general public and is usually synonymous with "ret*d" to the uneducated)
- If you get into legal trouble.... the defense can use your autism against you and the judge can rule you incompetent. (one example, there are others http://kentwired.com/steuernagel-s-son- ... competent/)


Others have mentioned social consequences as well, someone mentioned blaming the AS instead of the person, this is in itself enough of an issue, as it creates the AS identity and people stop trying to work with you .... In some cases it robs you of your credibility with your boss, coworkers, friends, etc. because now you have a developmental disorder instead of just being quirky. People can handle quirky better than disordered.

It's hard to explain I guess, it's just that if you're looking for an answer, here it is, you're an Aspie, but if you want a diagnosis, understand that it won't "solve" your problems and it won't give you the means to "get better" because autism is a condition not a disease. I'm only going for my dx because of comorbids ... I can't receive psychiatric treatment aimed at NTs (haha, have tried to do this for the last 20 years to no avail only recently found out why it wasn't working).

So if you have other issues and want to get the autism dx out of the way to lay groundwork for counseling or something, that makes sense to me cuz I'm there too. I know you won't rest until you know for sure, as well. Good luck in your search, if you go for dx, try to get it confidential only.

Thanks for the answer. One question though. If I would go for a diagnosis (really haven't made up my mind about that yet) and they'd say they think I've got AS, can I keep it a secret? Like only telling whoever I want to tell and keep it from people I don't want to tell. Or is it official?

Oh I've got another question. This is really the first time I've "met" people who are like me so I hope it's ok I ask. Anyway, I was at work today (working was like hell today by the way, too much people, too much sounds, alarms going off everywhere etc) and I asked one of my managers if I could go drink some water. He smiled and said "Sure, but that's going to be £5 off your wages." I said "Sorry, what?" and he repeated what he said. I understood that he was joking but I didn't think it was funny at all and I had no idea how to respond. So I stood there like a moron and a few seconds too late I tried to be funny and said something like "Well I don't care" and went to get some water. Only I wasn't funny at all and I felt very awkward. That happens a lot. Does it happen to you too?

Last edited by rebbieh on 17 Mar 2012, 6:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If you get the diagnosis on the NHS, it is official. Certainly, people saying things I don't understand happens plenty, but I'm lucky, work wise. That's mostly been relatively easy, mostly 'literal' stuff & you're usually supposed to ask if you don't know how to do stuff, etc. Finding out you're 'like' us, huh? That'll help!