Cliche advice that sets us back

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These are some common ones that many- if not, ALL people have heard at some part of their lives:

"Don't worry".
"Have more self-confidence".


To whoever donned these sayings,

Would you please care to elaborate on how exactly one could implement your advice into a given situation because I'm not seeing 'the bigger picture', here...

Good situations to apply those sayings to would render them useless:

1. A person has a gun to one's head; you then wouldn't calm them down by saying to them "Don't worry", as they would be within reason to worry- hello...'life or death' situation!
2. A person standing on a ledge above an underpass, on the motorway whose about to commit suicide because they believe that they are worthless; you wouldn't exactly tell them to "Have more self-confidence", because they clearly DO NOT!...and I'm sure they wish they did and knew how to gain some, or else they wouldn't be standing on the ledge then- would they?! (don't answer that)

...and the moral of this 'not-so-much a story but a post' is: "Giving advice is one thing, but taking it is another".

'You should try speaking to them, instead of staying angry'

'You only get as much out, as you put in'

'Dont play their game, play your own game...'

'Patience is a virtue'

'Love conquers all"

'Just like aspies, some NT's are caught in a world wide web, matrix, or illusion......and have little control over their actions and words'

oh.... wait....

Oh yes, this is a major one! It set me back many years and cost me jobs, friendships, etc. Reality turned out to be very different from this theoretical nonsense advice: people DON'T like to "talk about it", they very much resent it, it's NOT acceptable or appreciated to bring a conflict out in the light by addressing it verbally, unless it's an intimate relationship such as spouses, best friends of years, very close siblings. Follow this advice and make a conflict in a relationship 10 times worse! You're supposed to convey your message of what bothered you without words, with subtle passive-aggressive actions, and leave it to the other person to figure out why you acted that way, leave them to think about it and conclude that you must be feeling offended and about what.

yeah I guess it comes down to how strong and resilient you are feeling, or whether you can be bothered or not

You wouldn't speak the same words to the guy in the gas station as a relative.... but say....'hey servo dude I sorry things between us are bad! Truth is, I have autism, and dont communicate very well with others. I have been bullied all my life, and it has caused me and my parents a lot of sadness. I'm sorry to have offended you...'

Then walk off. Come back in a few days and check the vibes. If no improvement dont go back, if hes nice to you, you know it worked, and you can keep buying gas from there!! !! Convenient for you!! !

We are ambassadors for autism at every juncture and meeting. We have opportunities at every turn to healthily educate those around us...

all the while making life easier for ourselves, and removing any possible ill feeling in our hearts, and in the hearts of those around us. Whew

By being bigger than the normal paradigm of resentment, and going that extra mile with others, the normal result of tension can be avoided [same as for NT's, and all pack and group creatures really]

***Major league boy scout and girl guide points to be earned****

***Progress to the next level and collect $10,000***

****Spread the love, and score karma points, hot sex and fame****

That doesn't sound so bad. If you take the word "just" out of it that statement would be true for almost anyone. I guess the word "just" could be used to imply that you don't have ASD, but without more context I wouldn't read that into it.

''Asperger's makes you who you are - nothing to be ashamed of or want to change''
Actually, I AM ashamed of it and want to change it BECAUSE I am not happy with who I am.

''Then get happy with who you are''
You try telling somebody with cancer to get happy with having cancer. I'm suffering in the same way, except emotionally and not physically. And yes, this terrible Asperger thing will be the death of me, because it will make me either do myself in or something else.

I have made it to 47, and I plan to continue.

Two new favorites in the last 2 days:

"Just get a grip"....bonus as it was in relation to a sensory overload

"Not everything is logical" ....really? And why not? Because it should be.

Everything is not logical, everything is mathematical.

"get real "

"think before you say something XD!!"

"the truth is always in the middle!!:D11!"

"it's not world that is wrong you are "

"there is no black and white only gray XD!!!11"

"we'll talk when you will be my age, kid "

"you don't have enough exp to form correct judgment XD!!!1"


On a more serious note

How's that bad?



oh my...I don't even know where to start.....
so I won't start and I'll just tell you that..well..teenage angst is a terrible thing?

I was joking.

Please understand I say lies to make others think.

the tone of this thread may dispose some readers to

**throw out the baby with the bathwater....***

I am trying to prevent this by giving good advice, seemingly not making sense

Last edited by Surfman on 31 Jul 2012, 5:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

oh..sorry..I'm sorta new. Well, it is true that, with pages, people tend to get more and more radical in threads like this one. Wild guess...crowd psychology?

I'm not quite sure what you're saying.

I'm saying that you're an angsty teenager. But that's okay, I also used to say a lot of stupid stuff during that faze....oh well. Don't worry.

Oh ok...you're right I suppose; angst combined with randomness create some weird and radical ideas- I tend to do that often. Just ignore me.

"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

I tend to follow this in a very obvious, literal way. I'll just sit there silently even though I know someone expects a response.

Last edited by Nonperson on 31 Jul 2012, 6:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.