If you could tell Neurotypicals one thing what would it be?

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NocturnalLament
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02 Nov 2012, 2:17 pm

Just because I don't understand, doesn't mean I don't want to. Most people don't realise how belittling it is to push you away because you're 'weird' or 'different', even when you try so hard to appear normal.


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Joe90
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02 Nov 2012, 3:25 pm

I would say this to other NT women:-

''I get the same thrill seeing bus-drivers and writing about bus-drivers, as you do from clothes shopping''.


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MrXxx
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02 Nov 2012, 3:44 pm

Shut up and listen.

That's reserved for autism professionals though. Unless, of course, they already are listening.


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Mindsigh
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02 Nov 2012, 4:13 pm

When you say "playing games", I think of Monopoly or Checkers and when you say "mind-games", I think of quizzes and brain-teasers. Really--I literally do. I have no concept of ulterior motives.

Please specify what I did and why it seems annoying/suspicious/deceptive to you, then really listen and give me a chance to explain myself. I was not trying to stir you up or "push your buttons". I wasn't thinking of you at all when I did whatever it was that offended you.


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DJFester
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03 Nov 2012, 2:50 am

I think you're weird, too.


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Nausea
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03 Nov 2012, 11:41 pm

Just because I do not like to socialise doesn't mean I am not lonely or wish to not have friends.

...

Don't talk down to me.

...

Having AS doesn't mean I have no feelings.



r84shi37
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04 Nov 2012, 12:10 am

If I look annoyed or unfriendly when you try to talk to me, please understand that it's not really your fault but it would be best if you would leave me alone.



billiscool
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04 Nov 2012, 1:24 am

Please go out with me



deathsign
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04 Nov 2012, 3:46 am

- Everyone with AS/autism has different weaknesses, abnormal traits and interests. Just because someone else you know has AS are like this/does this, doesn't mean I do that too, and vice versa.

- There are other mental/personality disabilities other than autism, you know. Just because (s)he's weird or mentally lacking doesnt mean (s)he's autistic.

- If we do something that is offensive to you, don't take it too seriously. We do a lot of social mistakes, and it likely wasn't intentional. We have a hard time figuring out what is right and what is wrong socially.

- Just because we're not very social, doesn't mean we're not interested in what is currently happening socially and/or we won't understand about social stuff. We actually are/do, and we'd like to know.

- We do have feelings. We, however, can't show/express it to others in our faces/actions like NTs do, so we seem to have no feelings. But we actually do have the same feelings as NTs have.


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c0bo
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04 Nov 2012, 9:29 am

I come in peace.


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Logicalmom
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04 Nov 2012, 10:53 am

If you really care, give me time to answer.

I really am not sure what I am feeling right now.

Do I laugh at your point of view ? Do I call you weird?

Calm down before you talk to me.

Why do you think you think you make so many concessions for me? You have no idea how much effort I make.

Sometimes I am answering you, it just doesn't come out. I can't just make it come out.

Maybe this is just me, but I consider a doctor's visit social interaction and it counts as filling up all I can handle of visiting for one day. It even makes my week feel shorter. Anticipation, preparation, actual, and review - my appointment is not just that little spot in a day.

When I tell you not to interrupt me because I need to concentrate and you think you can ask me where something is or reach around me for something and that that is not an interruption you have no idea how screwed I feel.

If you are talking about one thing and then you start crying and keep talking, I am having a heck of a time keeping up with 'the switch'.

Sensory overload feels like I am being physically assaulted. When I have had enough and you keep talking to me I am not feeling warm and friendly to you and I sure as freak don't hear what you are saying. The sound of your voice, the movement, you are beating me up. Maybe you could learn something about communicating with me and being mindful of the environment instead of pushing me to the limit. I try for you, you have no idea how hard I try for you.

Honest, "hi" suffices.

I am trying hard to recognize you when you are walking down the hall toward me. The lighting and a lot of things are interfering. I embarrass myself when I think I recognize someone. I hesitate for a number of reasons.

I need to hold the rail when I go down stairs and often with two hands to get started. I take a little longer finding my footing. Will you please not push or stare? And if you want to hurry down an escalator, please don't get impatient with people like me who first have to navigate getting on and then actually ride the stupid thing down like it was intended.

I am not 'picky'. I am genuinely physically bothered. It's not my attitude, I am not being difficult, and I am not doing this just so you can tell me I am picky or whatever other reactions you have to me. No wonder I like to stay home.

No, I don't need to be more social, no this is not something I will magically overcome, I don't need you to fix me, no "we don't all do that".

Yes, I did enjoy going to the movies last week, but I was prepared, I had a pretty calm week, and it was a movie I was really interested in. I have good days and bad days, too. I am not lying about not having an easy time with social activity just because you saw me have a good time. Maybe instead you could just celebrate that I had a good day and a good time.

I should start saying "bbooorrrring" when people are yammering about their stuff. Why do people think it doesn't hurt me when they say 'boring' and switch the topic? Or laugh with each other in front of me about things I thought were interesting and very important to me. I sit politely through a lot of boring stuff. Aspie's don't reciprocate? Give me a break.



Wandering_Stranger
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04 Nov 2012, 11:08 am

Please don't tell me to look "over there". Where is there? :? If you say "next to the till", I will understand it better.

Giving 5 minutes notice of changes isn't acceptable. Especially when you also have no idea when you'll be doing something.

Please be careful how you say something. I do not understand metaphors and similes. If you say everything, I will take that to mean everything. That ended up with someone threatening to remove me from a Facebook group. :oops:

Please don't have a go at me for being picky, etc. I can't help it. Some things are physically painful.



whirlingmind
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04 Nov 2012, 12:00 pm

I have another one:

Why do you take advantage of Aspies' niavety?


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nessa238
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05 Nov 2012, 5:17 pm

Seeing yourselves as automatically superior to me is some kind of sick f-king joke!
I'll always be a better person than ALL OF YOU!



oxjox
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05 Nov 2012, 6:25 pm

"Get out of my way."



jpr11011
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06 Nov 2012, 6:40 pm

Thank you all so much! Please, keep them coming too :)