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School gives AS girl razor deliberately to self-harm

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Ann2011
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31 Mar 2013, 4:50 pm

nessa238 wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
nessa238 wrote:

You're telling us all about it now though


So? I post about many things on this forum I won't discuss with anyone in a face to face environment, as do many others.


Why wouldn't you discuss it with your Dr or someone from the mental health service?

Why not with your friends or family?

If it's something causing you a problem why not use the proper channels to get it sorted out?

So WP is not a proper channel? I don't get what you're saying here. You don't think this is a place to discuss this? I think it is something that should be discussed.



nessa238
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31 Mar 2013, 4:50 pm

Verdandi wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
Why wouldn't you discuss it with your Dr or someone from the mental health service?

Why not with your friends or family?


I've come pretty far being able to discuss as much as I have in therapy. It takes time. I don't know when/if I'll be able to bring up everything relevant.

As far as friends and family, I just don't. I expect disclosing would result in fuss and worry over something that is relatively mild, and the worst of it (which was never very bad) was decades ago.


I see

I don't relate to people who have to keep stuff secret like this

If I have a partner or close friend I tell them more or less everything



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31 Mar 2013, 4:54 pm

nessa238 wrote:
I see

I don't relate to people who have to keep stuff secret like this

If I have a partner or close friend I tell them more or less everything


Perhaps this is one of the reasons I am not particularly interested in a partner.

As far as relating goes, I don't really relate to most people.



nessa238
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31 Mar 2013, 4:54 pm

Ann2011 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
nessa238 wrote:

You're telling us all about it now though


So? I post about many things on this forum I won't discuss with anyone in a face to face environment, as do many others.


Why wouldn't you discuss it with your Dr or someone from the mental health service?

Why not with your friends or family?

If it's something causing you a problem why not use the proper channels to get it sorted out?

So WP is not a proper channel? I don't get what you're saying here. You don't think this is a place to discuss this? I think it is something that should be discussed.


No I didn't mean that

I meant I would be telling a partner or close friend or family member about it

I'm far more open than the majority of people in terms of what I'd talk about

Perhaps this is what defines people who self-harm ie they are unable to open up about their feelings to other people or don't have anyone around them they can open up to

In which case surely they need to be looking at the type of people they associate with

I associate and am friends with people I can be completely open with - that's the definition of a person I could be friends with

People who compartmentalise and only show about 25% of themselves even to friends I don't relate to



Verdandi
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31 Mar 2013, 4:55 pm

I definitely show more than 25%, but probably not more than 60.



nessa238
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31 Mar 2013, 4:55 pm

Verdandi wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
I see

I don't relate to people who have to keep stuff secret like this

If I have a partner or close friend I tell them more or less everything


Perhaps this is one of the reasons I am not particularly interested in a partner.

As far as relating goes, I don't really relate to most people.


Surely this self-harm thing demonstrates that isn't a good idea though

I don't relate to most people either but I have evidently worked out that it is very important to have at least one person in my life at any one time that I can talk to about anything



Last edited by nessa238 on 31 Mar 2013, 4:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

nessa238
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31 Mar 2013, 4:57 pm

Verdandi wrote:
I definitely show more than 25%, but probably not more than 60.


I like to be able to be as open with a person as I could with my parents

This cut-down version of themselves most people present to the world I find very off-putting



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31 Mar 2013, 5:06 pm

nessa238 wrote:
I like to be able to be as open with a person as I could with my parents

This cut-down version of themselves most people present to the world I find very off-putting


I am not that comfortable with most people. I don't expect I ever will be. I don't think that the way I present myself is like "most people," as it seems when most people are in distress they want everyone to know about it, and when I am in distress it takes significant effort to bring it up to a doctor or other professional.

If something is not actually making things worse for me, it is even harder to bring up. I think that I would rather spend my time getting my doctor to understand that the chronic pain I experience is more severe than she believes than explain that sometimes I catch myself hitting myself in the thigh, or that I used to do possibly more worrying things some 30 years ago, and no longer do those things.



nessa238
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31 Mar 2013, 5:12 pm

Verdandi wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
I like to be able to be as open with a person as I could with my parents

This cut-down version of themselves most people present to the world I find very off-putting


I am not that comfortable with most people. I don't expect I ever will be. I don't think that the way I present myself is like "most people," as it seems when most people are in distress they want everyone to know about it, and when I am in distress it takes significant effort to bring it up to a doctor or other professional.

If something is not actually making things worse for me, it is even harder to bring up. I think that I would rather spend my time getting my doctor to understand that the chronic pain I experience is more severe than she believes than explain that sometimes I catch myself hitting myself in the thigh, or that I used to do possibly more worrying things some 30 years ago, and no longer do those things.


I've got no experience of suffering bad pain

I know that if I ever do, I would be making sure the Dr gave me adequate pain relief

I couldn't cope with extreme pain and it frightens me that some pain can't be stopped - I didn't realise this, having assumed in this day and age all pain could be dealt with

I'd need enough morphine to put me to sleep to deal with any bad pain I had as I have very bad pain tolerance



Ann2011
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31 Mar 2013, 5:13 pm

nessa238 wrote:
Ann2011 wrote:
So WP is not a proper channel? I don't get what you're saying here. You don't think this is a place to discuss this? I think it is something that should be discussed.


No I didn't mean that

...
Perhaps this is what defines people who self-harm ie they are unable to open up about their feelings to other people or don't have anyone around them they can open up to

By the time I started to cut I had usually pushed everyone away. It's important to reach out to the available resources even when you don't think it will help.



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31 Mar 2013, 5:18 pm

Ann2011 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
Ann2011 wrote:
So WP is not a proper channel? I don't get what you're saying here. You don't think this is a place to discuss this? I think it is something that should be discussed.


No I didn't mean that

...
Perhaps this is what defines people who self-harm ie they are unable to open up about their feelings to other people or don't have anyone around them they can open up to

By the time I started to cut I had usually pushed everyone away. It's important to reach out to the available resources even when you don't think it will help.


I've had the out of control feeling that I'm going to harm myself but this has instigated me getting medical help

I've made suicide attempts in the past but I don't see this as the same as self harm as suicide is like a one-off act where you aim to end things ie solve the problem permanently

when I didn't die, I went to the Dr to see what harm had been done ie I went back into responsible mode

the Dr just went through the motions as if I was telling him I'd got a cold - No How are you feeling? What made you do this?
no sympathy or anything

Part of me was put out but another part thought , no, why should he indulge me if I want to do something deliberately reckless like that?



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31 Mar 2013, 5:25 pm

nessa238 wrote:

I've got no experience of suffering bad pain

I know that if I ever do, I would be making sure the Dr gave me adequate pain relief

I couldn't cope with extreme pain and it frightens me that some pain can't be stopped - I didn't realise this, having assumed in this day and age all pain could be dealt with

I'd need enough morphine to put me to sleep to deal with any bad pain I had as I have very bad pain tolerance


Getting adequate pain relief is difficult if not suffering an acute condition, unfortunately. At least where I live. I'm on Medicaid (the public option for people on disability, among other things) and the prevailing stereotype around here is that if you're on Medicaid you're probably drug seeking. For that matter I couldn't get any pain relief for a cluster headache at the ER, possibly because I answered the "rate your pain from 1-10" question wrong.

Medical care sucks a lot of the time. I wish it did not.



Ann2011
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31 Mar 2013, 5:30 pm

nessa238 wrote:
the Dr just went through the motions as if I was telling him I'd got a cold - No How are you feeling? What made you do this?
no sympathy or anything

Part of me was put out but another part thought , no, why should he indulge me if I want to do something deliberately reckless like that?

I hope he was able to help you even though he does sound a little prickly. I hate it when doctors look at me like I'm a science experiment. But, finding a good doctor is a whole other thread.



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31 Mar 2013, 5:30 pm

Verdandi wrote:
nessa238 wrote:

I've got no experience of suffering bad pain

I know that if I ever do, I would be making sure the Dr gave me adequate pain relief

I couldn't cope with extreme pain and it frightens me that some pain can't be stopped - I didn't realise this, having assumed in this day and age all pain could be dealt with

I'd need enough morphine to put me to sleep to deal with any bad pain I had as I have very bad pain tolerance


Getting adequate pain relief is difficult if not suffering an acute condition, unfortunately. At least where I live. I'm on Medicaid (the public option for people on disability, among other things) and the prevailing stereotype around here is that if you're on Medicaid you're probably drug seeking. For that matter I couldn't get any pain relief for a cluster headache at the ER, possibly because I answered the "rate your pain from 1-10" question wrong.

Medical care sucks a lot of the time. I wish it did not.


Gosh sounds terrible!

Don't you get prescriptions from your Doctor for stronger pain killers?

I've never been asked to rate pain level for anything



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31 Mar 2013, 5:33 pm

nessa238 wrote:
the Dr just went through the motions as if I was telling him I'd got a cold - No How are you feeling? What made you do this?
no sympathy or anything

Part of me was put out but another part thought , no, why should he indulge me if I want to do something deliberately reckless like that?


When I've spoken about suicide to medical professionals they've never been neutral on the topic. Not always nice but they do seem to take it seriously. I guess I wonder if he was taking it seriously, despite the lack of sympathy?

Major depressions is one of those other serious problems I've worked pretty hard to be able to be completely open about with professionals.



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31 Mar 2013, 5:33 pm

Ann2011 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
the Dr just went through the motions as if I was telling him I'd got a cold - No How are you feeling? What made you do this?
no sympathy or anything

Part of me was put out but another part thought , no, why should he indulge me if I want to do something deliberately reckless like that?

I hope he was able to help you even though he does sound a little prickly. I hate it when doctors look at me like I'm a science experiment. But, finding a good doctor is a whole other thread.


He wasn't my usual doctor, I'd never seen him before

He just said bring in some urine so they could do a kidney function test to be on the safe side but that I would probably be ok

I had very bad back pain (probably my kidneys) for weeks afterwards and had to take a painkiller each morning